Do people take advantage of you?

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Not any more.

Years ago a guy used to come to my house arriving jsut before supper and leaving shortly after, my good friend noticed it and told me, so one day we were due to go to Guildford and I quickly made myself and the children sandwiches and we ate them very quickly, just after, my friend arrived and I suggested we go straight away to catch the train. We got to Guildford and he seemed upset and then said he was hungry, so I told him to go buy some sweets from the newsagents.

Months or years later when I looked back I realized that he was upset and knew something was wrong because he told me he thought that my friend had stirred up trouble between us. Manipulators are VERY clever and they know about people, that is how they nearly always win and we get taken in.

Anyway, a few years after that, he must have learned a lesson because I moved to the city and when he came to see me he always brought cake or money for us to go and eat or buy food to cook

Yes, they do. I try not to let it happen anymore, so it's not as much of a problem, but to stop it completely I'd need to turn into a b*tch. I don't like people as much as I used to

My life story! I always got taken advantage of. I am in a situation, where it happens again. A partying idiot girl who calls me friend wants to borrow my craptop for Java programming. She ever calls me or comes over unless she wants something from me. I felt lonely on taht day, so I told her that I had to install java and eclipse and had her wait there until the craptop finished.

I am not done yet with it and plan to turn off the swap so she won't be able to do squat with the craptop! I am a little BOfH sometimes.

yes they do.
i am a very odd one out, and i attract people who are also "odd one's out" (although they are NT).
these people usually are unemployed and almost always have no money.
they quickly realize that i have plenty of money.

i am not rich, but i am very lucky to have carved a niche for myself where i earn more than most people. i also seem very unaware of peoples motives and they pick up on it.

i overheard someone talking about me to another person once and they said "it's amazing! he's got so much money, and it's like taking candy from a baby!"

that was a person i helped with their rent and food bills for a few months.

at first it starts out with a "do you mind if i sit at your table" thing, and they do not know i have money at that point. after a small while, they gather that i am well off, and ask if i could give them money for a drink. i say "yes", and then they go and get a drink.

they come back and continue to talk to me and they seem to be interested in my company.

after a while they may say "well i have to go now because i have no more money to get any more drinks", and if i like them i will say "i'll give you money for a few drinks tonight if you want".

they accept the offer with much gratitude and humility, but they notice that i am not concerned at all with handing them money to go and get more drinks.

after a very short while, they do not bother with the "gratitude" response. they just plainly ask me "can i get a drink?" and i always reach into my pocket and pull out the money and give it to them while being undistracted from what i was saying otherwise.

they think i am somewhat mentally impaired in a way because i seem to fail to know the value of money. i am not interested in their initial gratitude, so they think i do not care how much money i give away.

then they turn up the next time i am there, and they want to sit with me again. i get them drink after drink because they ask me. then they eventually ask if i can "lend" them money to get their dinner.
i always say "yes". i know they have no money and the price of drinks and dinner for one person is not a problem for me.

after some weeks, they become used to my providence and just expect it.
then they will step up their quest for money by saying that they will be thrown out of their unit (flat/condo whatever) if they do not pay their rent. this raises their requirement to hundreds of dollars.

i say "yes", but it is a bit of a chore to give someone their rent money for 12 weeks, and i ask them to get their affairs in order so i do not have to carry them.

they continue to find all sorts of reasons that they need hundreds of dollars.

examples:

* "my 6 year old daughter needs special corrective glasses (spectacles) that cost $600. if she doesn't get them, she'll have distorted vision for the rest of her life. i can't get them for her and my dad hasn't got any money either. she needs these glasses now or it will be too late".

i give the money but see no indication that her daughter has new glasses even weeks
after i gave her the money.

* "my rent is due but i had to spend all my meager pension on medicine for my daughter. we will be living on the streets this time next week....so good bye mark (my name)".

i may say "christ!! ! how much is it this time?!?!" and the answer may be "$1,200 for 6 weeks rent".
i will give it to them because i cannot be sure they are lying although i suspect it.

i am not a good judge of people's honesty, and if i decided she was lying and refused to give her the money, and she was telling the truth, then i would feel bad that they are now living on the streets because i did not give them the money.

i can not tell. i think they are just scamming me, but if they are not, then if i refuse them the money for what amounts to a "life saving grant" and they suffer, then i will think i am not a nice person because i have enough money to help them.

i do not believe that they are just "layabout's" that are sponges. i believe they have little going for them, and they are unemployable. i also have little going for me, and i could be in their position if i did not have a few talents which i have, and i am sad for them that they have no talents that they can sell.

but after a long time goes by, i realize they they are using me as a "cash cow", and then one day i will suddenly refuse their request.

then they usually turn extremely nasty and demand to know why i have "dried up". they become like a 12 year old kid that is kicked out onto the streets by a formerly well providing and doting father for no reason. they get very angry and call me all sorts of names and they hate me because i stop their life line.

it is my money after all.

a common comment from someone who i am no longer helping is "he's like a cat that landed on his feet the lucky prick! he can't see how tough life is for those of us who have no special abilities!! ! he is so selfish"

that is after thousands of dollars of help from me.

I have often and it has made me quite bitter I find it really hard to trust people I often don't think my best friend is my best friend because I don't know whether to trust him or not I feel guilty but I am very hard to trust people now

This is something I find most embarrassing indeed! Yes, I've had a great deal of many people drag me around either it was on the basis of so-called friendship or some insidious notion of trying to steal money from me etc.. These days, I'll admit that I'm not that trusting however, I've not become like a fellow person of whom I know offline that has become intensle hostile and somewhat pessimistic towards other people.Still, it's not easy to know whom are benevolent and whom are malign...

I've been screwed over so often, it's getting to a point that I can't trust anybody and I'm happy to be a recluse from now on.

I was used by a so-called friend in the city I used to live in, which helped to hasten the end of my marriage. I felt sorry for this loser and so, decided to be a good friend. Good sucker, more like it! She took up all my time, dumped her kid on me and so on.

Then I move to this city and a new friendly person comes along and says, 'you can count me and my husband as your friends'. Which I thought was very nice at the time. However, for the last ten years I've been here, this person has been asking me for favours and roping me into doing things for her and so on. This person is very articulate and persuasive - and very wearing too. I've finally grown a 'backbone' and said no to her.

The way I feel now, the only people I can trust are my family and passing acquaintances. I don't do close friendships anymore.

The person who has been using me up till now, often uses me as a convenient taxi driver too. It's because we live close to each other and attend similar functions. When she is in the car, she keeps up a continuous stream of chat and asks lots of questions while I'm driving which need considered answers. My driving ability goes to pot as I can only concentrate on one thing as a time.

Therefore, I'm seriously thinking of cancelling two 'bookings' with her and will get to the events by bus.

Another problem I have is, I get migraines when I'm stressed. These take the form of visual disturbances so I can't drive then anyway.

Probaly, i do oi all the time to others

The only people who are really able to take advantage of me are people I've known since I was a kid.... but when I say "people", I'm really just thinking of one person. She is an emotional basket case, manipulative and controlling, but I can only feel sorry for her.... I try to avoid her and am getting better at dealing with her. I like having my boyfriend around if I am hanging out with her because he'll call bulls**t for me.

I do not get close to new people. I have lost the ability to make friends and trust no one...but sometimes I buy things just to be nice, because I used to be in sales... Like buying an over priced pair of shoes and thinking "well, they're getting commission"... Perhaps that is just my justification for spending money I don't have, though...