alex doesn't have Asperger's

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I've learned to somewhat engage in two-way interactions. It has taken practice, but technically, I'm not "less autistic" than other aspies.

Others have done a fine job of responding to this rather ridiculous thread, but I have to respond to this comment from Daniel's:

This doesn't fit with my experiences at all. About a year and a half ago I first met someone from this site in person, also officially diagnosed. Our MANY interactions have been so positive that we now plan on getting married at an appropriate time. And yes, our interactions are two-way most of the time. We ask each other questions, we respond to each others' comments in a spontaneous manner. Our relationship is not "normal" by NT standards, but it certainly is "interactive." I doubt many people witnessing us in person would say we're not really interacting with one another, nor that we're not both aspies. When we first met other there were many more moments of silence, both of us being the "passive" type, but we still engaged in interactive exchange, and both of us have always felt like we can talk to each other more easily than with anyone else. Our relationship is probably healthier and more communicative than the average NT relationship, because we're very honest and open with each other. This experience has led me to believe that aspies are not inherently incapable of "true interaction" or relationships, whatever that means. We just need to find compatible people with similar interests, and in those circumstances many of us can "interact" quite well. I'm not saying all aspies are compatible with each other, but for some of us inter-aspie interaction is the best social contact which we will ever have. It's like saying that deaf people can't interact because they can't listen and speak, ignoring the fact that they can interact beautifully on their own terms. (Just like many autistic people have an easier time communicating in writing, or with certain kinds of people.) It's really too bad that Daniel sees inter-aspie communication as inevitably "hilarious." I and probably many others here feel differently.

Wow, Temple must not be on the spectrum either because she sure can talk to people. Certinally so can Liane Holliday Willey. I have read her book, Pretending to Be Normal.


Seriously, saying someone isn't AS just because they don't have a certain symptom is BS. You don't need to have every single symptom. After all the criteria says you need meet two of the following, one of the following.

Hmm , that kind of depends on the sort of interaction doesn't it. I think it depends on the topic at hand. ehm.. heh. Sometimes I do two way, most often I don't.

Last edited by LiendaBalla on 05 Apr 2008, 3:48 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I went to a aspie gathering back in August and they were all interacting and talking to each other. Most of them were. It must mean they don't have AS. I must have been a real aspie because I didn't interact very much but I did talk to a few people. So I must have been a fakie too then.

But of course! The question is, how hard is "hard enough"? Why, hard enough to turn potato chips into gold, obviously!

I disagree with the premise/title of this thread-though it's partially redeemed by the many intelligent & insightful responses contained within.

Above post bears repeating, in my opinion-and refutes specific rigid distinction drawn on this level, between NT's & those with ASD's. There are differences-but thresholds, places where one draws line or decides on cutoff point, are arbitrary measurements. The "spectrum" continuum makes sense to my brain, for any feature of creatures. Paradoxically, I do think in "black & white" but always remind myself that reality is more often "shades of grey".

I don't claim to be having "selfless" & "other-oriented" communication with strangers/online people-the benefit of sharing info. on WP isn't dependent upon that. I have "two-way" conversations (as much as they have with me) with the few people who are very close, near & dear to me-those whom I know, who are familiar to & with me. I'm dx'd Asperger's, I have a boyfriend, and we have "real" interactive conversation-the professionals who dx'd me don't disagree with me on that, either.

Doesn't mean there aren't glitches, misunderstandings, etc.-NT's are also susceptible those same things ! My particular problems just require more in-depth explanation & aren't adequately comprehendable without using ASD framework/concepts/terminology.

As soon as I read that Icheb I knew you were right.

One thing Temple Grandin says is never accept bad manners from your aspie child. I think it is extremely bad manners to make judgments about other people on a public forum.

Most of what is "known" about autism is nonsense.

I understand, very greatly, the urge to hold onto every "expert" pronouncement as if it shows the final and precise degree of accuracy a person could want out of the world.

However, it doesn't make it right.

Lots of autistic people, regardless of particular label, can at some point in their life hold a two-way conversation.

It will probably happen later than it does for other people, but that's not the same as never. Remember that autism was researched mostly on children, not as much on adults, who continue learning these things.

More insidious than just holding to diagnostic criteria with some kind of absoluteness that does not exist, is the habit of claiming that if someone with a condition contradicts stereotypes of the condition when describing themselves, then they "lack insight".

That creates a situation where people with the condition can never contradict the "experts" on the condition, even if the "experts" are full of BS. The "experts" cannot get into our heads and can't claim to know what is going on in our heads. Claiming we "lack insight" if we don't view ourselves the way they view us, is a way of maintaining power, it is not a way of maintaining truth or objectivity.

Yea Anbuend! I am working on a project with a group of aspies. The wisdom, the insight, the democracy of the group is astounding...they seem to be breaking many rules about autism.

Oh yes, they have official diagnoses.

s anyone here TRULY incapable of holding a two way conversation?!?!?!? GRANTED, there is usually a LONG delay. We can't know if a post took 1 second, or 1 day, to be written(Even if answered right after the post responded to, it might have been mostly prepared beforehand for another case.)! Still, it shows ALL the needed ability to carry on a 2 way conversation.

HECK, even DANIEL is handling two way conversation!

As for passive or aggressive, I have been both, and have talked to both while I was either. I doubt it is ANY different from NT people in the same area. Well, I assume that what is obvious is known to the other. That limits some things more.

Hillary Clinton, for example, brought up bushes tax cuts when discussing her tax return. If I was her, I would NOT have mentioned that because I would assume the audience would KNOW it was the non-sequitor that it was. The tax cuts were tax CUTS! They did NOT have ANYTHING to do with all the money the clintons got.

Some young people with AS just get overzealous with study, want to relate to others, etc... Their "one way monologue" is NO different than a sports buff talking at length about his favorite player. Some disinterested parties, or people that react incorrectly, might think the AS monologue is simply slightly coherent, or even incoherent, BABBLE! Hey, go to some nation where the speak a language in another language group, and you may think the same of all of them. It may even take a word to describe a complex thought, or a phrase to replace the simplest word.

When I first heard danish, the very cadence and intonation sounded like some made up extraterrestrial language. And THAT was a language in the SAME language group! BTW I went to denmark! They speak that SAME way! I emulated it, and at least 5 different people told me I had a beautiful danish accent! I EVEN heard a danish father reading a danish plaque(At a museum) to his kids. YEP, it was LEGIT!

Is the Pope Catholic topic

Who is Daniel, and who appointed him judge and jury?

If this is not the craziest thing I have heard all day, I do not know what is.

Daniel is wrong. Everyone I've seen with AS I've seen engaged in 2-way interactions. Nobody goes through their whole life not speaking unless they're giving a monologue or telling someone else soemthing.

When I was a child (according to my parents) they were not able to get me to pay attention to a conversation unless they spoke my name. But I have come a LONG ways. I do pretty fine in two-way conversations (except for excessive interrupting, not ALWAYS noticing the other person's subtle cues, and a few other problems). Conversations involving more than two people are noticeably tougher, but I have gotten BETTER with those even.

oh he does. From listening to the amount of interrupting and awkward pauses with Alex's and Heather Kuzmich's interview, he most definitely has it. My mom, who is NT, listened and agreed with me.
I think it makes it better that he has Aspergers and has been such a success

I go through ENTIRE DAYS without speaking! I often try to interact with people without talking. I am the quietest one in parties and meetings. But I can certainly talk, and DO have to talk many days on the job.(Some days I go without talking at work also.)

Maybe it is like drinking. Some feel I don't drink coffee or alcohol, because I USUALLY don't.