Tired of NTs telling me I need to change my personality

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This reminds me of my mother when i was younger, quite often she would say things like "There is no trying, only doing or not doing.", that screwed me over, well, as far as i could considering how far gone i already was by that time.
If someone tells you that, and you happen to have...

How can i explain, high yet low confidence, confidence that you are worthless when it comes to most abilities, but high confidence in your ability to judge your inadequacies, the logical, unemotional, self analysis of someone with asperger's, i suppose.

Anyway, you throw that person into a high school, a place where, honestly, at least if you do not have anyone that is able to "be there for you", to motivate you, to keep helping you when you need help, in the way that most people have parents and friends, you won't try, and you won't do, you will only not do, because "there is no trying" and "i know that i can't do that".

Granted, i was already quite screwed long before that point, it really didn't do any harm, you can't slice what has already been minced, but yes, i understand.

My advice is to not let these peoples words mess with you, it will only do you harm.

I have lots of crap to get off my chest. It feels as if it was all my fault. I'm still in the healing process. For now, I hope I won't get into any trouble in university.

"Stop trying to be funny!"(I wasn't trying to be funny)
"Do you think you're funny?"(ditto)
"You should be glad you were accepted at this school, just because your mother is a teacher here."(she is a teacher at the highschool that I've graduated from)
"You're a bottom of the barrel loser and you have no right to comment."
"I want to break your silly face."
"You'll be beaten in university."
"Do you think you'll get away with this just because you're autistic?"(I had just broken an unwritten social rule, like I always do)
"Since when do you have the right to swear at me?"(this was said to me by a guy who swears at me all the time)
"You're sick."
"You don't deserve a girlfriend."
"You're an aberration of the human genome."
"That sounded so ugly from your mouth."
"You should be grateful to us, because we've been tolerating your sick behavior for several years."
"You look human, but you have no humanity in you."

Things said about me in 3rd person:
"Poor guy!"(said in a despiteful way)
"He will end up killing himself."(ditto)
"He took cancer to a whole new level."
"Get this thing away from here!"
"He creeps me out."
"His existence is a problem."
"For this guy we don't say Who is he?, we say What is it?"

In 5th grade, I wrote on a piece of paper that a guy from my class had kissed a girl from my class. It wasn't true and was supposed to be a lighthearted and harmless joke. However, when the boy in front of me read it, all hell broke loose. The girl attacked me physically. Then she was asked if she wanted me to die or be transferred to a another school. She replied "Both.". The next day, her mother came to school and confronted me. She asked me "When are you going to speak decently?". I was confused, because the joke I had written was not obscene at all. Then I had to apologize to the girl. Later that day, my parents found out and they were very upset. But they were upset about things that I hadn't done. My classmates had lied to them. They told them that I had stood up during class and called people obscene names, which is not true.

In 6th grade I was bullied more than in all other grades combined. It was hardcore physical bullying. It often caused me to scream, cry, lie on the floor and punch myself in the head, hit myself in the head with a big heavy book etc. People thought I was an attention whore, when in fact I had meltdowns. I informed the teachers about the bullying, but they didn't care. I once slapped a bully in the face. My mother was quickly informed about this. She told me off for "being violent.". Why were my classmates never told off or punished for assaulting me? Because they are NT. I tried to stand up to the bullies in a diplomatic way, but that didn't work. An Aspie can't stand up to anyone.

Being angry and lashing out at people is called a temper tantrum if you are NT, or a meltdown if you are autistic. Temper tantrums are socially acceptable, meltdowns aren't. Normal people consider us freakish animals that shouldn't exist. In their eyes, we have no rights.

Bringing an Aspie into the world is an unforgivable cruelty. I secretly hate my parents, even after all they've done for me. I honestly wish I had never been born. But now that I exist, I'll do all I can to survive.

I honestly wish I could change my personality, since I really do have too many personality flaws. I'm irresponsible, I'm immature, I'm easily distracted, I have a horrible memory, I'm antisocial, I'm a coward, I'm boring, I have a very short temper, I'm high-maintenance, I take things far too personally, I'm unhealthy, I'm unhygienic, I'm whiny, I'm pessimistic, I'm a worrywart, and I'm far too dependent on others.

And I don't think those flaws are society's fault at all, since they honestly bother me and make my own life hard to live. I really do wish I could have been born NT.

This describes me perfectly:
https://imgflip.com/i/nt2rx

I think in order to change one's personality you'd either have to suffer a severe head injury or get a lobotomy, neither of which I would recommend. Apparently a personality isn't just something you learn to have, it's something set in your brain almost like concrete. So if people think I need to change just to suit them. TOUGH.
They're not my only critic, so take a number, and get in line.