How did you feel when you found out you had AS?

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I felt relieved when I got the official diagnosis as I finally understood why I am the way I am.

I haven't been officially diagnosed yet, but I know for sure I have AS. I found out because my friend who has an official diagnosis of AS told me how aspie I am. After talking to a few of my teachers, it turns out a lot of people have thought that for a long time. First I was angry, beacuse everything that I've been through but more than anything I was relieved. For the first time in my life I realised that I didn't have to hate myself for being different. Slowly I'm beginning to accept that beind different is OK. Also I finally have an explanation for all my weirdness.

I was - at first- devestated. As I began to read more and more about my condition, I began to feel more alone than ever before. Even though a lot of my friends now know the truth of my condition (I post on another site where we do get-togethers) and a lot of them know what it is, I realized that I should have acted more grown up in the past. But...all I can do is try and learn how to cope with my disability through support of both friends and family.

I am not diagnosed but I know that I have probably AS. Finding that wasn't any disaster for me because I am realizing my problems with social skills and disability of making friends. This took years to realize my problems and AS was only name for it.

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Castaway on Earth.
Excuse my English, please. My real name is H*Y*M*A*N K*A*P*L*A*N

i am not diagnosed, but since i found out that AS exists! i am convinced that what i have and my feeling is: relief! now i know who i am, why i act the way i do...

I remember I hated it. It meant I was different for real, not because of how I was treated by others, so I thought I would try and get rid of it thinking if I try harder to be like everyone else, I won't have it anymore. I didn't even know what AS was because my mother told me I had it, did not tell me what it is. So I assumed what it was, me having troubles doing my school work and I was stupid because of it so I tried harder and harder and rejected help, only asked for very little because I wanted to be smart. I only got help with my school work at home by my mother because no one else would know I got help with it.

I was 13 when I finally accepted getting extra help in school because I saw lot of other kids getting extra help, so it made me feel better. It meant I would not be made fun of for it and kids wouldn't think I was stupid. I didn't even know I had a learning disability till I was 22 but before, I only suspected it because I had troubles learning in school. It was never in my medical records or in my IEP. I started suspecting it in high school but never said I had a learning disability.


I was almost 15 when I really learned what AS is. Explained the difficulties I had in my childhood and the lack of friends and troubles fitting in, also explained why I got obsessed, why I couldn't tell when someone was joking or kidding or even teasing, why I hated changes. Told me how little I have it but was unaware of other symptoms I had like no picking up on social cues or non verbal cues, not being aware of how others are feeling. I always thought people told you how they are feeling because that was what my mother taught me growing up. No one can read my mind, I have to tell others how I am feeling, what I want, etc. So I thought it was the same with others. Sometimes I wonder if my mother has it because of the things she has told me but she thinks that's how others think too and things she has said like "that's why so many relationships fail because people can't be honest with each other telling them how they are feeling because they are too afraid of hurting their partner's feelings. So they finally blow up about something that bothers them and break up." (Not her exact words)
My mother probably just has traits of it only just as I always thought since I started reading about AS.

I was relieve. I actually sat down and cried, I was so happy to know that I was not alone in the way that I felt. I have always felt seperated from everyone, including my family like I was an outsider. Once I found out I knew why.

Did you ever see "They Live" with Roddy Piper? When he discovered aliens had brainwashed the entire world with bs he said "Well! It figures it'd be something like that!"

Thats how I felt.

I'm undiagnosed, but I can relate to AS.

I could finally start to forgive myself for not being like everybody else.

It's a lengthy, ongoing process.

Lengthy ................................................................

I didn't really have any feelings at first because I didn't even know what it was, but I'm comfortable with having Asperger's.

Well I'm not going to lie, I felt like I was ret*d. And I don't mean silly, but literally, handicapped.

I had never had anything wrong with me. And the idea of my brain functioning completely different than those around me was a degrading and discouraging thought.

Then as the days went by, I started to realize that it made me no worse. It just made me different.

At first I was scared by the realization that I simply am not the same as everyone else. Then I decided I could use the knowledge to move forward and improve myself. It's better to know what your problems are and be able to work with them, than to just be sitting there in confused wondering why you behave the way you do, in my opinion.

The woman who diagnosed me decribed the symptoms and it made a lot of sense, it explained everything! But as soon as she said "autism" I immediately freaked out and denied that I had what she had been describing. I knew as much about Autism as most people do. I thought autistic people were mentally ret*d and I knew I wasn't. So if AS is "autism", I guess I don't have AS, right? The lady explained to me that autism is a "spectrum", and for many months after my diagnosis I accepted that I had AS, but I denied that I had "autism". I got really offended when my mom told people that I had "a form of autism".

When I was a child (around age I was told that I was "borderline autistic", so I've always thought that I was supposed to be, I don't know, "almost normal". When I got the official diagnosis of AS I started reading up on it. I suppose it makes me feel more comfortable to know that there is a name for what's up with my brain, but at the same time I don't think it defines me as a person anymore than having green eyes or being right-handed defines me as a person.

One really good thing is that now I truly understand why I feel the way I feel sometimes, like when I get upset because my routine changes or I freak out because I think someone is angry with me, almost like since I know how I'm going to react I can handle it better.

I was both relieved and angry. Relieved to find out that there was a reason why everything is so tough in life for me. I was angry though that people had told me they suspected I had As and not told me and also angry that it hadnt been oicked up when I was young. I was angry and still am at the way I was treated by family due to my undiagnosed AS. Mum will never change and still contiunues to treat me like that.

I'd had the diagnosis for about a year before I finally told someone and tried to explain Asperger's Syndrome. Up to that point, it was kind of an idea without real feeling--I felt numb and a little relieved that I finally had a name for what I was dealing with, but it was only when I finally started to talk about it that I had a maelstrom of emotion.

I felt a great sorrow for all of those lost years not knowing that it wasn't laziness, or lack of attention to what was going on around me, or why I had such a unique view of things, or the intense interests that separated me from everything else...there was a sense of real loss. At the same time, I am more accepting and forgiving of myself, and relief with the regret-that I really was different.

Metta, Rjaye.

I was intrigued as to why they thought I had it, I wanted to know more. When I looked it up, it said about not taking or understanding hints. Apparently the matter was hinted but having AS means I don't understand hints. Then I think back to my childhood days "Maybe you have learning difficulties?" I though "impossible, I understand many concepts" Maybe they didn't know about understanding the hints thing.

I was more interested as to why they thought this and it was said by multiple people, but I would like to know who so I can question them about it as I am curious.