suicide

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Ditto. What "intense" said.

And while you're here, can you give us something concrete?
What are your specific issues?
It's ok if you're long-winded. Everything is so complicated.
It's hard to say, "I've been there" when I don't know where you are.
And if I haven't "been there," maybe I can visit.

I am 25 years old. sometimes i even forget that much =_=

I was having relationship problems, still am off and on and then there is the move, economic issues, my doctor wont give me the aspie dx, i still miss my dads death and regret to have gotten to see him the one time i had a chance to do so and the list goes on. i get very depressed.

i do not think about suicide unless i am on all those drugs that these doctors think you need to be on and if you look up the side effects suicide is listed in a lot of them along with other psychotic symptoms so i also think that all this talk about autism having high rates of suicide will not be if these doctors just realize that maybe drugs are not the right things for people with autism spectrum

that must be tough with your Dad. You must not blame yourself though. Life is full of regrets, we can't get things right all the time though.

Without drugs, I probably would have been dead or in jail by now. It seems like they cause more problems than they solve, pharma drugs, but I found out for myself about that once. I tried to kick. I tried to go cold turkey and had the biggest, longest, most violent meltdown of my life. No joke.

So the meds are in fact a necessary evil, for me anyway. I warn you: do not try to go cold turkey or "quit" your medications. Esp. if there are psycho-active.

I would agree with this advice. Withdrawal can be terrible if it's not managed correctly.

Describing suicide as a side-effect is really just a legal disclaimer so people can't sue in the event of a suicide.

Yes and no. It's been noted that some antidepressants have a "motivating" effect, so that someone who was too depressed to move before might, after taking the medication, be just motivated enough to grab a gun.

But agreed that if you are on medication, and want to go off, taper off. I'm older and stronger now, as a teenager I stopped cold and, although too stubborn for suicide, I realized I had no idea what depression was becore I went off my meds. Like staring into a rapidly growing sinkhole, trying not to slide in. Bad, bad stuff.

Ive skipped doses before and i slip, badly. I am on depakote for my seizures and on abilify. I am having a bad day again.

its just so hard to deal with life!

I feel like every corner i turn someone will be upset at me for not doing something or doing something or watever. that i will f**k up at any moment that my gf will leave me that ill end up alone. if she does leave me. . . .i posted sometime back in teh haven about my troubles wtih my gf, they got a bit better for a little while but they slip downhill constantly.

then there is pressure abut my relationship with my mom and the fact that i havent come out to her yet, nor will i ever i dont think i cant do it.

i keep hearing the "bad day again song" in my head thats a good example of how i feel so often. its all the little tihngs that get so big.

How about just taking a risk and telling your Mum? At least it'll be something different to think about, and another situation to deal with, might get you out of the rut your in. Plus its horrible having such a weight on your shoulders, so it will do you good, whatever the outcome.

Tempy, what is it you haven't told your mom?

that im gay

Oh, I see. Well sooner is better than later, isn't it? Maybe she's figured it out already, being your mom and all ...

I thought that was obvious.

Is your mother very conservative? Will she have a problem with your sexuality?

And that is no lie.

I normally have trouble moving across boundaries, such that, for instance, merely putting a gun (I don't have one, just an example) inside a cupboard would be enough I would have trouble getting to it even if I wanted to. And that's without depression. With depression it's even harder.

Once on an anti-depressant, on the other hand... I was reading the newspaper. I saw an event going on quite a distance away. Before I knew it (or had a chance to reason), I had:

1. Gotten in my wheelchair
2. Boarded two different local buses
3. Boarded a third bus that goes over a mountain range to the other side (including stowing my wheelchair in the underneath part).
4. Gone to that event.

I normally have trouble riding buses. (Enough trouble I have a paratransit card because of problems and expenses the bus companies incurred if I tried to ride their buses.) I normally have trouble going out, and planning all that. Etc.

I stopped the meds soon after because I realized they were eliminating my protective mechanisms without eliminating the mood problems.



Yeah. And even with tapering it can be a nightmare. I had months of withdrawal -- including physical pain shooting throughout my body -- before I stabilized.

There are also in many places gay community centers where you can go and talk to other gay people about things like this. I haven't had the best luck in them due to ableism though.

I want for you to find some peace, Tempy. I want for you to be happy about who you are, and I also want for you and your mom to discuss your sexual orientation. I pray that you wil have no fear and that your family's love for you does not waver.