Easier to be AS and ugly?

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Although some of this thread does sound like some rather insincere whining rather than thinking, I don't think the two threads are opposed at all. They complement each other, with the central theme being how stupid it is that people judge so much on aspects of appearance we have no control over.

How would you feel if not once, ever in your life had anyone EVER said "you look nice"? Being disfigured, for example, is a far greater social handicap than AS.

Maybe you need to think a little more on this (nah, just go out and get some unwanted positive feedback), but being ugly and having AS is a perfect combination if you want to die an unwanted, friendless virgin

Why don't you stop whining and consider all the classic Autistics who aren't even able to post on a webforum to whinge about what a bum deal not being attractive is ?

Might have known some whiner would hijack a good thread and turn it into a whingefest. :rolleyes:

I've been considered ugly at certain parts in my life, especially before the extreme orthodontics, but at least people didn't expect me to act normal then. I was able to surprise them pleasantly. I think it is bad both ways though.

Also studies show you are more likely to be convicted of crimes etc. if you are ugly, even with the exact same circumstances as an attractive person.

You sure are right about that Aurore, which is why I argue that social misfits like ourselves should strive for invisibility. Even if you're cute, people start to treat you like crap once they figure that you're 'weird'...at least in my experience and I've been on both ends of the scale. Right now I'm kind of plain since I put on a bit too much weight.

Why don't you address any of the points I, or anyone else for that matter, made?



That a problem, but a different problem to this thread. It's more useful to stay focussed on the tropic in hand rather than wandering off to every possible problem. You could always start a thread on those people if it concerns you so much.

You missed my point entirely : namely that while we were enjoying a discourse on the relatively unknown downsides of being AS and good-looking, someone came and pissed on our barbeque by telling us to stop whining - and think of those worse off than us (namely them as ugly people).

So I dosed them with their own medicine.

I wasn't making a point about classic Autism, merely using it as a tool.

No, you didn't include a point. You just whinged about someone putting forward a slightly different view.

I agree that the original poster *is* describing a real problem. I disagree that it is a worse problem than being ugly with AS.

You mean, you couldn't see the point.


No.
I complained that someone was raining on our enjoyable little parade by being unnecessarily offensive.
Seems you have some difficulty in understanding the difference.



I don't think anyone was really taking issue with that.
Nobody really seemed to be contesting it.
Why don't you try calming down a bit ?

THIS IS SO true I knew a guy who had tourettes/Autism and he was very attractive so when I saw him do all his crazyness like pacing and mumbling things and not being normal Ifelt so bad for him because he appears so normal he was very asethically pleasing as a guy and I just felt really bad for the guy because he acts nothing like he looks

It's not a competition on "who's life sucks most", but about the problems specific to situations involving nt perceptions on good-looking aspies.
The "ugly" debate is another set of problems, different scenarios and a different topic altogether. Perhaps I should have been clearer in the title - I meant rather excactly as I had said in my first post. Situations in which nt's invite social situations we are not equipped to handle, merely based on appearance.

Well said.
You can always rely on some angry, self-pitying dolt to ruin a great thread.

So right. The problem you get when you're considered handsome by everyone around you is that there is tremendous pressure to behave like a "handsome" man; to dress hunky, to do your hair like the movie or rock stars, to be charming, to be hot and sexy. People see you and they project onto you all of their completely unrealistic expectations.

Also, your self esteem starts to get wrapped around your looks which is so dangerous.

You know what? Sometimes, I don't wanna be the handsome man with the killer body who turns heads, I just wanna be the closet nerd who likes to study geometry and read about the solar system and go swimming by myself. But the pressure to be that person that they see is really too strong. My sense of self is very much tied with the way I look, no matter how hard I try for it not to be.

I'm a good person with solid values and great intellectual curiosity, why can't I be loved for that? I'll tell you honestly, absolutely everything extraordinary that has happened in my life so far has happened because of the way I look, from the jobs I've gotten to the people I've dated, to getting out of sticky situations with the cops, whatever, and that's sad, because let me tell you I'm so much more than that.

OK, you might say, dude, stop whining and just be yourself, but unfortunately, it doesn't work like that, we don't live in a vacuum, you can't help but be influenced by the people around you. I'm sorry, no one is that strong, certainly not me.

The truth is when you look a certain way, people somehow impose on you their idea of who you should be, regardless of what's under the shell.

So says the person responsible for just about all of the vitriol, anger and insults in the thread. You have made it clear that you find different opinions difficult without resorting to insults, so I have no further interest in it.

Sorry mate, but you can't just trot out the old "can't accept different opinions" chestnut.
It just makes you look like a pouty troll.

<sigh>

Can't we just get along?

complete opposite for me, i was never attractive, unmanageable hair, spots, glasses....i wanted a girl rather badly at school...but always got rejected....mind you, i doubt if i even got the girl i'd be able to keep her with my lack of conversational skills...

anyway, i'm now hot and loving it ^.^ lol x