DarthMaxeuis wrote:
My paranoia is caused by the fact that my classmates bully and make sick jokes about me.
So, I am "anticipating" the aggression that will come.
In fact, I have one major paranoia :
I think that my classmates do everything to destroy my life, and even to make me have bad grades.
Yes, and then you get into an anxiety spiral, where you get tense and insecure and that makes it worse (both the bullying gets worse and your fears get worse).
So sorry to hear this. I think that professors are out to destroy me, but then again, they have done things (illegal things) to destroy me. What it is, is from time to time, one bullies me when I won't be their girlfriend. And all it takes is one professor in the environment to set out to destroy a college student, to succeed, because no one will stop him. Certainly the school doesn't interfere. So I think all male professors have a potentially evil, perverted side that can turn them into destroyers-of-me at any time, and schools look the other way. And I think I'm not far off the mark. The reason I feel this way is because they consistently act that way.
It's hard to break the cycle of insecurity and anxiety that starts once the bullying sets in.
You are not imagining that this is bad -- bullies get pleasure out of what they do, it's not something that is in your control. You have to survive this period in your life -- get through the tunnel to the other side.
If it's any consolation, bullies often develop into as*holes and losers when they grow up, while the kids they were trying to beat down develop into more talented people. The bullying they are doing today is shaping their brains development toward stupidity.
Good luck.