Indifference to friend's pain

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People with an ASD are the ones who should feel indifferent to the suffering of others (unless they are the ones who inflicted the suffering), not the other way around.

NT or MT topic

Greentea, sometimes I do not know what to say. I do it better in writing--I am not good with oral stuff. I have met some NTs also who prefer to send a card. I know you said she did nothing. I wonder if she thought her pain was greater than yours, being fired. Selfish, I know.

I am always feeling tortured having to say sympathetic stuff. I worry it sounds phony, as Dussel wrote. When emotional things happen to me, I clam up. Too much of a flood if it opens too fast. It has to settle down before I am coherent. Right now I am experiencing emotional flooding (private matter, but not to do with family) and I have got to settle down before I can write it out of me.

When parents pass away this is a very sad event.

Sue, not being able to comfort someone is totally acceptable. Sometimes we can give nothing. What is unacceptable is to totally ignore me for a month and then, knowing I'm grieving, call to dump a world of her personal problems on me asking for everything: practical help and emotional support. I've had times when I could give nothing - but then I didn't come asking for anything.

Here's wishing you a prompt recovery from life's current blow....

If a friend emailed me that a relative had died, I would not automatically assume an obligation or expectation to respond. I would read the email for the information therein and then move on without giving it a second thought. Sometimes it hits me that I should respond, but usually it doesn't. There is no ill intent and my response or lack thereof has nothing to do with my feelings for my friend.

All you really know is that your friend didn't respond the way you wanted your friend to respond. I would never end a friendship over something like this.

True. And I didn't respond the way she wanted me to respond when a month later she re-emerged jobless, down on her luck and asking for help with everything. Lovely friendship.