AS and Sexuality again...

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I'm FTM, don't plan on having SRS, and my boyfriend and I have yet to hit utter disaster.

I've not said that this was certain, only that it was a real possibility when the TG person is closeted and not forwards about the fact that they are TG. --Obviously you've not read the original post that I quoted from, so I will highlight the original quote, FYP.

If you do not plan on having SRS, and your boyfreind knows and has no issues with it, good thing for you.

I read it, and bolded the part I was replying to. Did you mean just for closeted people, or trans people in general? It's not very clear from the context of your post, since you go from saying "trans people that aren't out" to "trans people".

For me personally, part of coming to terms with being trans, and surviving as such involves learning to worry less about the shape of whats in your knickers or anyone elses. I fall love with a person, and figure out the rest later. Pansexuallity is liberating.

Although I do have trans friends who will not engage in any kind of relationship till post op, its very sad.

Sexuallity doesnt revolve around the shape of genitals. I like women for much broader reasons than what they do or do not have downstairs. I like men for different equally broad reasons.

How would you describe it?

There seem to be a lot of different definitions of asexuality.

The most common one seems to be "no sexual attraction to other people," in which case I'm pretty close, but not quite there.

Hmm, well I can find people attractive, there's just no desire to have sex for me.

If you want to know more about asexuality, check out AVEN

I am straight, but display bisexual tendencies from time to time.

Finding my place along the gender spectrum has been a lifelong rollercoaster ride.

I am biologically female, with no noted intersex condition, but began exhibiting signs of gender dysphoria at a very young age. I would insist that I was a boy when strangers would call me a 'pretty little girl', refused to wear dresses, wore Batman and Superman pjs instead of Barbie or Princess, and identified with boys (when in kindergarten, I even participated in a circle of boys who were showing off their latest, and coolest underroos. oops).

At around 7-8 years old, when I finally understood that I WASN'T a boy, I prayed to God and asked him to make a boy. Didn't work out, obviously.

I was a tomboy from late elementary school through the seventh grade, but never thought much about my gender. I dressed like a boy and played rough, but I didn't feel 'uncomfortable' as a girl. In the 8th grade, I finally embraced being a girl, and started dressing girly and focusing on boys (I've always been attracted to boys, never girls). In the first three years of high school, I continued living happily (well, sorta) as a girl, and had a boyfriend or two (nothing lasting more than a month).

Then, in the 12th grade, I saw 'Boy's Don't Cry' and read the non-fiction book on which it was based, and something clicked. I started doing a lot of research, discovered the term FTM, and decided that I was transgendered. I reverted back to boys clothes, identified as male exclusively online, and began making plans to see a psychologist and transition. I became incredibly depressed, and loathed the idea that people saw me as female. A year later, I came out to my mom. She flipped, and sent me to a shrink (not for the reasons *I* wanted, of course). Anyway, nothing ever came out of the therapy sessions, and I eventually the gender dysphoria seemed to just slip away. I've now been happily and fully female for five years, and have not had a single gender dysphoric thought. I don't even wear my movie t-shirts anymore, as they made me feel too masculine. That said, I do sometimes feel like OTHERS might find me a tad masculine, but I really can't tell. I feel more masculine than other girls, as in thought processes and such, but no more feel like I AM a man.

It's all been very confusing for me. But, I hadn't given it a single thought in the last five years until reading this post. I'm still very happy as a female. I've never told my boyfriend about my past gender issues...I don't want to scare him off, and I genuinely believe that I won't have the desire to live as male ever again.

Hehe, I'm very familiar with AVEN. I was a fairly regular poster there for a while. I was wondering if you were an AVENite but I decided I would just let the conversation run its course a bit.

In order for a relationship to work, both people must be perfectly honest with each other. If Brandon Teena had been honest with the girl that he fell in love with about the fact that he was in fact Pre-Op TG, perhaps the girl that he fell in love with wouldn't have freaked out when she discovered that the guy that she fell in love with was in fact biologically female, and wouldn't have told the people that eventually raped and killed Brandon Teena. Whilst this is largely conjecture, there still remains the fact that Brandon Teena been honest about him/herself from the very beginning, he would probably still be rather quite alive.

that's blatantly honest of yourself



Overhearing gossip by people on who's gay and who's not gay does seem to suggest this, all discussing over who's suspected to be a homosexual and whatnot. Granted they didn't attack them for it (they didn't calling people fags even in gossip but it was funny to see a ~46 y/o police officer saying "He gay!" Oh that and they did admit that "If that's how she wants to dress/act, that's her"-so it was basically a piece of gossip I guess.) It was a 'hot topic of discussion' basically. This was at a "family reunion" in rural mississippi last weekend. double lol @ the preacher on sunday going on some unrelated thing about whether Paul was gay. At a "memorial service".



wut. They likely proclaim to be Christian.

This is all still a pretty new concept for me, I haven't sorted it all out yet.
When I was a little kid, I used to tell people that I wished I was a boy. (But for the record, I was clueless about biological differences back then.)
I prefered to play with boys, on the dirt or whatever. Dolls and dress up didn't interest me. I've still never had a really good friend who was female.
I never liked wearing skirts or dresses, and only will do it on rare special occasions.
People online often assume I'm a guy.
I hate being called a lady, it sounds all proper. I'm not a lady. I also hate ma'am, but other terms don't seem to bother me.
I prefer to be treated as "one of the guys", flirting or comments about my looks usually bother me.
I mentioned this to my husband, his response was that I "would have made a good guy." (But he likes it that I'm not all girly.)
I wear men's clothes at work (because they're more comfortable to do manual labor in), but wear female clothes otherwise. Sometimes I wear a little makeup, usually I don't bother.
While I don't often feel really comfortable as a female, I don't want to go get a sex change or anything.
Just still trying to sort this one out, mentally.

I am not trans-gendered, but I do feel somewhat genderless, my sex is female of course but my gender as in the way I act or dress is non-existent. So one day I could dress girly and the next boyish and I fit both pretty well.
I am mostly straight but get girl crushes sometimes.

Sort of as above, just my sex is male. Haven't progressed so far on puberty that there'd be no way I could ever look like I'm a girl.

I can tolerate it most of the time. Others, I really want to be a girl. If I could be both and decide on the day that would be ace

As for my orientation... bisexual and asexual? Not interested in sex, but I'll date either. Whoevers the opposite gender to what I am that day.

About the link with Autism... social ostracisation? Being more open? Less able to suppress feelings? Being told that you have a male brain? A way of thinking that is sort of both mixed? Lot's of ways it could be linked.

Last edited by Magneto on 19 Jun 2009, 9:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

In that case, biromantic would be a better label than bisexual.

Yes, thought so.

It's only within the past few centuries that being biromatic has been seen as weird. It used to be an accepted part of human culture, called romantic friendship. I mean, girls do that stuff all the time (Not all of them, I know, before someone bites my non-existent avatars head off).