Optimism and Reality: Goldfish21 Response to me

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Why not?

Are you an advocate of negative thinking?

I don't see how a "can't do," attitude is going to get anyone very far, get much done, or make anyone happy.

Where, in heaven's name, did I advocate a "can't do" attitude. I'm definitely on the "can do" portion of the "positivity spectrum."

I'm an advocate of "realistic thinking" with a "glass half-full" element to it.

Weighing the positives and negatives.

"Positive thinking" advocates, I have found, could be overbearing.

So, you utilize positive thinking, you just don't advocate for it to be used by others. Okay. Not everyone wants to be a public speaker & spread messages like that.

Obviously, I believe in non-negative thinking for others. I don't believe in unjustified negative thinking based---say---on statistics

Where are you getting these ideas? How would you interpret, based on what I wrote, that I advocate negative thinking, and that I wouldn't advocate positive thinking to others?

What I don't believe in is: "positivity without basis." I'm not going to force myself to feel good when there's no reason to feel good. Rather, I would advocate seeking to find the root cause of why I am not happy, and act towards alleviating it, knowing that my methods will not reap immediate results.

Sometimes, it's the "process" that counts, not the immediate results. To know that you are progressing towards an alleviation/mitigation of what is ailing you. To not tell yourself that you will remain in this state for life.

I didn't make it up. You just posted it a few posts ago:






So then, you Are an advocate of positive thinking, good change & improvement..

I am not an advocate of "false positivity."

I just don't believe that if something is not "100% positive, evidence be damned," that it must be "negative."

If it ain't "positive," then it must be "negative" is something which does not ring true with me. This sort of notion is a prime example of "thinking in absolutes."

There are many shades of positivity, and many shades of negativity. It ain't all "black and white."

I believe in thinking that "the glass is half full." I am a realist.

Kraftie, this is what I've been trying to say as well. Why can't there be shades of both? In fact, speaking of over-simplyfing I think I'm doing the same thing as GF. I've changed my opinion. I think before we rush to judgement on the stats I would like a more in depth understanding of what they mean. And, what are the correlations that exist especially within the 20 or so percent that were able to succeed? And, what is success and what does it mean to be employed? Is it only part time, full time? What was the economic status of the family involved around the disabled person and what is the overall family like? Are they stable? Two parent household, single mother, single father?

How much did they believe in themselves? THat's another valid question based upon GF's points.

I did the one thing that is one of the cardinal sins in reason and logic. I rushed to judgment and let my emotions cloud my interpretation of the data. Even those who make a conscience effort to be logical and objective can f**k up from time to time it seems like. My father is good with stats so next time I see him if I remember I'm going to ask him to help interpret the data better.

I could be wrong on things and GF could be right. I've taken steps to where I'm pursuing an opportunity that will pay 250 or so per month. It's not much but's its an addition to my SSDI

Even Spock has been known to screw up

That $250 a month will come in handy.

True dat! I hope I can do it and get it. Like I said, any opportunity I see and is feasible for me I will do.

That's good news & a good attitude.

When I was very first back to paid part time work 5+ years ago I worked one shift a week at my friend's fast food franchise helping him prep salads/food, cook, clean, take orders etc as it was the first opportunity I had to do anything again and my friend owned the place and we hung out while working kind of thing. I had to figure out how to do very simple jobs well before I could move on to more complex ones as my health improved over time.

You know, that is awesome dude. And, what you said comfirms a lot for me. I think I've been approaching employment wrong which is applying online. You were able to get part time work because you knew someone and you started helping him. Or was it a her? It really is who you know and who knows you. So, it begs the question is it possible to get to know and be friends with hiring managers at different orgs or at least people who can vouch for me. And, then the whole applying online becomes a mere formality.

Him (we went to high school together, he was a grade ahead of me) & his wife owned the place for a few years. He had also gone to his first level of medical school and it was around this time that I first learned my (self) diagnosis and my brain functions were slipping fast. We both observed them decline as my ability to do simple tastes deteriorated with my executive functions and it was terrifying to think that "this was it," and I'd never so much as be able to make a salad properly. Then when I figured out the acid sensitivity and started using epsom salts daily to detox it, we both observed my work effectiveness and efficiency improve every Saturday as I worked once a week until several weeks in I was getting the job done right in less than half the time, creating time to do other work or just hangout, or talk clinically about my executive function progress week over week. Besides getting back to work at all, there was tremendous value in doing that job for him because of the conversations with him.

Yes, it really is who you know. In almost all cases, every job that's advertised as available is so because they don't know anyone that they want to bring on board their time.. or their current employees don't have any suitable friends seeking work. MOST places I've worked, when they're hiring, they ask employees to refer friends as then they know those people are likely to "fit in."

It's easier to make friends with hiring managers at service sector places like restaurants where they interact with their customers vs. software companies. Then once you know each other you might be able to casually let them know you like the place and wouldn't mind working there, dishwashing, prep cooking, whatever. Or might overhear them talking about being short staffed and then decide to throw your name in the hat. Same with frequenting a gast station or convenience store and then seeing a "help wanted," sign.

When I worked at McDonald's in high school (about 15 years before I learned of my own diagnosis) there was an Autistic guy (a lot more ASD than me) who worked doing cleaning and dishwashing in the mornings and everyone liked him and his work ethic - he was very fast. He had his routine and everyone just let him do it because he got SO much done, like clockwork, every single day. Plus he was always in a pretty good mood & would say hi to everyone that said hi to him. He was respected for his work, but also.. in a way, socially protected by everyone due to his disability. You see, the McDonald's I worked at was where all the "cool kids" from my high school worked. None were bullies, but some were cliquey, and everyone made sure that any new hires knew not to mess with Craig or his routine or they'd create social/work problems for themselves. Just pointing out that teenagers aren't necessarily hostile towards ASD people in a place like that - but then again, it's also because it was literally a bunch of moms who worked the early morning shift with Craig and they'd have beat us kids too.

Anyways, yes, people can meet people, become friendly with them as a customer, then use even that small social connection to hear about a job or to inquire about whether any may be available as you wouldn't mind working there with them vs. just coming in for coffee.

Another thing I've been working on is here: https://healingofjackpatrick.blogspot.com

It's a fanfic of Tampa by Alissa Nuttin. Tell me what ya think Gf.

I think it's one of maaaaany stories I'll never read. I don't really read fiction. I've read very few novels in my life. I have no idea what Tampa is or who Alissa Nuttin is.

The only thing I think about it is if you enjoyed writing it, then it was worth doing.

More then likely I won't win a pultizer but I enjoy writing it.

GF, I think it is time to lay down my views.

a. I believe in the things that based in reason and logic. I believe in things that has the possibility of being perceived and measured. I do not believe in the things that are unseen, that can't be proven and can't be measured. I do accept that we must simply start off with axioms that are so evident that we need no proof.

b. With my belief in a I don't accept that my emotions, my attitude, my self-esteem, etc are the center of the universe. Reality exists outside of my thoughts, wishes, hopes and dreams. I do accept that we all can have differing and narrowed perceptions of that reality. None of us has the absolute full view of reality and our minds wouldn't be able to process it anyway. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057693/

c. One's attitude, emotions, etc are secondary to one's genetics, experiences (and perceptions thereof) and one's circumstance. I do accept that one's attitude can influence others somewhat and that is because most people think emotionally not rationally. Instead of telling someone just to be positive I say let's sit down and come up with a comprehensive plan to change both one's circumstances and attitude. Let's lay down a logical and a plan based in reason and not faith and believe in oneself.

d. Kraftie brought up the idea of degrees of positivity and negativity. I don't accept the absoluteness to these two things. I believe that positivity and negativity have degrees like Kraftie has said. I think our society over-polarizes these things to much.

e. I believe in the value of communitarianism more then individualism. This does not mean that I believe in communitarianism absolutely or I don't accept individualism at all. I believe that society is more likely to succeed if people are working together instead of always being in competition with each other like capitalism demands. Doesn't mean that we shouldn't have capitalism and individualism but to put business as the center of our lives and reducing everyone to commodities is the slow destruction of our society. Communitarianism needs to be kept at a more local level instead of trying to implement it on a national level like Communism and/or socialism does. Big government falls into the common problem of managability. As a society or empire grows it becomes more and more difficult to manage.

f. Kraftie said "I believe in thinking that "the glass is half full." I am a realist." I have a differing thinking style then you and most people even though yours differs then most people. I come from the idea that the glass is half empty and let's discuss, collaborate and come up with ways to fill the glass. Let's collaborate and discuss together and come up with a way to improve one's attitude and circumstances. Nancy Cantor puts my natural thinking into words. It is called defensive pessimism. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defensive_pessimism And, therein lies the problem that I have. It is like a culture class. The culture says I'm to believe in myself and that I'm to use the belief in myself to pull myself by my own bootstraps which in actuality is absurd.