The autism social rule book.

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Generally, anything you take to someone's house stays there.

Hm. I don't understand!

~tries desperately to detach her Motivation to Act < - Rational Justification pathway, giving up when bolt cutters fail to do the job~

I assume that is with food and drinks only because I would hate to have to leave my Wii there or my Nintendo DS.

Yeah, I think this is a cultural difference, actually.
Here, when people make and bring dishes (to potlucks, church gatherings, etc) just for that event,
everyone who wants any at said event eats their fill,
and the rest is for that family to take back home with them, usually eaten later that evening or for next day's supper.

It's considered a 'gift' and also it can be more effort dragging booze or half-eaten food back with you when you're pissed than it's worth. A couple of quid's worth of cheap lout or a couple of sandwiches? Leave them there. When they come to your house they'll bring some nasty lager for you to drink too.

The main consideration is not to give them posh, expensive stuff if a) they won't reciprocate in kind and/or b) you know they don't drink that stuff anyway.

If they drink lout, bring a case of lout. If they're any good as hosts, they'll put some stuff out that you like too - but more likely is that it'll be cans of cider and lager, and probably soft drinks too.

Simple.

The food thing has always confused me, I talked to my (probably) NT brother about this today. He agrees the standard here in PA is definetly to leave the food behind. The sensible thing to me would be to take it home with you, isn't that being helpful in cleaning up the mess? When I told him that he laughed, you know, the "you're a stupid ASD laugh" and made a comment like I would be trying to take the food for personal gain..... Ahhh, how does that work? I took the stuff in the first place. NTs are just as weird to me as I am to them, I think.

That certainly doesn't help me get it.

I love learning about different customs like that, especially just in different places in the US.

I'm in the South.

I've tried to have conversations about food before with Yankees, and usually don't know the things they're referring to, so I give up.

To make it less confusing, any food or drinks you bring over to share with everyone, you leave there.

Wait, so I'm going to a potluck tomorrow (bringing a dish, too, thank you very much!)

We're saying (if I understand) that a possible custom would be to leave the hostess with 20+ casseroles/pies/culinary creations in various states of having been eaten, to spoon out into containers to be crammed into her average-sized fridge, and as many serving dishes to hand-wash and return to their rightful owners?

Not here, at all.
After the event's over, whatever is left is by definition what "everyone" didn't want enough to eat.

You leave it there nonetheless. Even if it's not all eaten up, you still leave it there. Unless the owners in the house say you can take it home or ask you if you want to take home any left overs, then you may take it home what they give you. If they ask you if you want to bring home your food you brought, take it with.

I mean literally everyone, people who are there.


If it's a potluck, you may bring home your dish when you leave. But what if it's at someone's house? Maybe someone can answer that but I am sure you can still bring your dish home when you leave if it's a potluck. Potlucks are different than going to someone's house for anything like to watch a sports game or to watch a movie or to play video games or just to visit.

Ah, that's probably it, actually. I've never been involved in any of that before, just social things my family drags me to. >.<
I still don't get the rationale behind it. Whatevs.

Quid = slang for pounds sterling. In the Republic of Ireland, this now refers to the euro - a holdover from the days of the Irish pound. In America you might say 'bucks'. If the five or six cans of lager you've left and a bit of food comes to about $7 or $8, does it really matter? Leave it there for the hosts to drink. If they tell you to take it home because it'll only get thrown out or they specifically tell you that you can, do so. Otherwise, leave it there. When they come to your house, they'll do the same. It shows an appreciation of the host, and of not being 'tight'.

Lager = Pale lager. Also see 'lout'. Lager can be produced by craft breweries in a variety of different styles (schwarzbier, dunkel, helles, Munchener, Vienna, pilsener etc) but more often than not it's simply cheaply-produced, tasteless, industrial pale stuff. I never drink that stuff, though a nice crisp and clear craft lager always goes down well - like BrewDog's 77 Lager.

Lout = cheap, industrially produced pale lager. Popular with louts, often young men out to get 'hammered', fight, and chat up 'totty', usually some horrid-looking chavette with enough STDs to fill a dictionary.

Pissed = drunk. Not angry, just drunk, although drunk people can be angry too. Might need a bit of help getting home if you drank too much. Perhaps even get on the bus. (British and Irish English has a ton of slang words for being drunk, probably because that's all a section of the population seems to do).

Posh = well, you know that one.

Tequila, sometimes I think we should acknolwedge American English and the other variieties are different languages. I thought I knew a bit of the English slang, I spent 4 years in Europe and likea ENglish themes films, but each region is it's own thing. Much like a New England Fisherman trying to talk to a Cali Surfer and a Kentucky Mountain Woodsman.......Oh well, I guess if I can get away with my South-Western PA speak the rest of you are entitled to your own mangling of the mother tongue.

The above post is why I have to spell-check everything; the hands do not hit the keys I aim at sometimes....