List one NT thing you do not understand.

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The more the merrier. I hate that idea. That is very NT

How does it make you feel?

It makes me feel Alexithymic!

I didn't read the whole thread so this may have been mentioned, but the way they never just ask you right out to do something, but sort of hint that the don't like what you are doing and want you to stop. Just tell me to stop -- and why! For example, my brother and sister named nephew number three "Declan," which apparently is not unusual in Boston but is unheard of everywhere else. (Seriously, out here people keep asking if they made it up.) So my husband and I, feeling sorry for the poor kid if he ever wants to leave the Boston area, began calling him Dex.

I just got an e-mail from my brother which said, "I notice you and Pete call him Dex....that's fine as a pet name, but we only call him Declan. No nicknames yet!"

To me, this says, "It's fine, but no one else does it." Simple enough. However, since I know my brother pretty well, I think he might be saying something different. I'm not sure if he's really telling me it's okay to use Dex as a pet name, or if he's pissed at me for not calling his son Declan. I forwarded it to my husband with, "Is he telling us not to call the baby, Dex?" I'm just glad I have an NT handy most of the time to translate NT-speak for me!

Thank goodness my parents haven't gotten out of the habit of just telling me things right out!

I understand some NT things in an empirical sense. What I lack is an intuitive grasp. I have learned to read faces (for example) the hard way, by trial and error. A normal four year old kid can do it intuitively. I finally "got it" in my late 30s. If one observes enough patterns they will come up with a rule to account for them by induction.

ruvyen

About the apology thing, yes, I've noticed this too. My friends apologize for the stupidest stuff and never apologize for any meaningful things. It's like they think it's cool to never apologize for anything serious (and say sorry for stupid stuff).

"Good morning" and "Good night" in an office, as if you're going on a trip around the world, instead of just home and back. And NTs being offended if I forget. And then they aren't speaking to me, which I don't notice,

When people pretend to give a crap what someone else talks about. If I'm boring you tell me so I'll shut up. Now since I am good at BSing I can appear to know about almost any subject.

When people pretend to give a crap what someone else talks about. If I'm boring you tell me so I'll shut up. Now since I am good at BSing I can appear to know about almost any subject.

sarcasm

Behaviour

An NT does not respond to the same situations and stimuli the same way, there is always some internal state that comes into play that makes the response non-deterministic.

Correspondingly, it seems thay NT perceptions are also non-deterministic in that they will also perceive my state through the filter of their own. This is very disconcerting and feels confrontational to me.

Why people choose to get offended online. If there is something you don't like, why read it? If a thread title triggers you, don't read it. Especially if someone says they hope they didn't offend with a question they asked or say they aren't trying to be offensive there and people still get offended so they attack the person.

Oh why do people get upset wih trolls if they full well know they are trolling? Why do they even bother responding to them if they full well know it's a troll? I doubt that it's their true opinions or true feelings and I doubt they actually want to do X they claimed they are doing or want to do.

Why people claim they are tired of a drama but yet they still continue reading it and responding to it and yet they also say they are done with a person but yet they still continue responding to him or her.

I see that pattern a lot. It is what I call threat of excommunication. If an NT disagrees, they make a production out of how different they and the other party are and faux question their own judgement

Uh I have seen that here too recently until this one member got banned.

Anyway the thread title is stupid IMO and it should be "List one thing you don't understand about people."

It's simple. People don't ever choose to get offended. They either get offended or they don't get offended. Whether they get offended or not depends on their own personal experience and emotional state more than it depends on exactly what is said. I don't think people choose to act offended when they don't actually feel hurt by something that's said, unless they just like to argue which does happen a lot on the internet.

Sometimes it's hard to stop reading something once you've started. Also, when someone is already angered by something they just stumbled upon they might feel like they need to reply/refute it in order to alleviate their anger.


It goes back to feeling offended or angered not being a choice. Just because you tell someone you're not trying to offend anyone doesn't mean they won't take offense. As for the attack, I think all people (autistic and NT alike) tend to become irrational when they are angered by something and may attack just for the sake of attacking without questioning whether the target of the attack truly deserves to be attacked.


I think they just get angry and then they can't resist trying to "fight back". It doesn't register that it's impossible to "win" against a troll that's simply baiting.


There should be a name for this phenomena as I've seen it in a lot in comedy sketches. People like to have the last word in an argument. By saying they're tired or don't care they're trying to get the other person to stop replying to them, but then when it doesn't work they continue the argument because they still haven't gotten the last word.