Hey greenturtle74, I just wanted to thank you for your drawings on that first page (have yet to keep reading if there are more).
I honestly have to say that when i saw those drawings, it was the first time I recognized that I have Aspergers. Yesterday.
2 weeks ago I didn't know what Aspergers was. The only reference I had was regarding that kid Adam Lanza. Around that time, a family member came up to me with some information regarding the Sindrome. This person even took one of those online test for me and determined it could be something that I have.
I looked at the information and did some research. I took a test on my own, but there was an error retrieving the results. I didn't give that much of an importance and pretty much forgot about it. Days later this family member made an appointment with a neurologist, just to be sure. I agreed to go. This mainly because the Dr. has Aspergers himself and treats these kind of disorders on kids and adults (I'm in my 30's, by the way). I was curious.
During the appointment, the guy asked us some questions regarding mental illness history on the family; questions about my childhood; head injuries during that time; patterns of behavior; parents having Aspergers as well. However. the guy pretty much did all the talking. I was expecting for him to do like a specific questionnaire and draw a result based on that. This wasn't the case. By the end of the session, It felt like he wanted us to figure it out based on the information he told us (which was a lot). He send me a prescription and schedule a follow up for next month.
I don't know if the information that my family member and I told him was enough for him to determine something. I don't know if he saw something important on my behavior during the session. The thing is that when I shook him hand good-bye he said "Welcome to the club". I didn't know what to make of all of this. I thought "Are you sure? Don't you have to do a questionnaire or something?"
I had a lot of doubts after that day. Almost everything he said described me, but there were some key elements he mentioned that I wasn't sure of. I looked a lot of youtube videos. Talked to my best friend regarding my odd behavior since we met, and out of nowhere he says "I always taught that you might have Aspergers". I was speechless. Talked to my older brother as well. He was pretty sure of it.
On the following days I kept looking at videos and information. I still had doubts regarding some Aspergers traits I was sure I didn't have (Like collecting things and having "one side conversations"). Then I saw a video that basically said "No two people with Aspergers are the same". I was starting to accept it and then I saw your drawings.
It hit me like a hammer. Don't know why but it did. I wanted to cry. Probably I still do as I'm writing this
There were things regarding my persona that always had no clue about. Things I did that made me feel anxious and lately depressed. Knowing that is a "thing", a way of living, puts everything in perspective.
I was looking in this forum for some place for people to introduce themselves. Since I couldn't find it, I post this here. I know it's a long post and very personal, but I felt like a had to get it out of my chest.
It's a big deal to me. Thank you greenturtle74.
PS
s**t, I cried after all.