100 Ways to Annoy Somebody With Asperger's Syndrome

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I must say this thread is a little flawed. All Aspies are different. These are things that would offend SOME Aspies, but not al. A lot of the thins mentioned are things that would not annoy me.

When they wind down from a meltdown, ask if they're finished with their temper tantrum, re-triggering the meltdown. Then make fun of them when they try to tell you off but are stuttering and incoherent because you've wound them up past the point of reliably using speech.

Tell them, "You sounded like a talking dictionary in there," but when they ask what they should have said instead, say, "Oh no, you were fine, you seemed totally normal."

Deliberately make loud, sudden noises behind them and laugh when they jump and scream, telling them, "I thought you would have grown out of that by now."

Expect one to know that something is crucial for something without ever explaining why.

Chew chewing gum really loud (and smelly) at the bus (or anywhere else).

Adapting whyever a sh***y custom to greet friends and family with hugging and kissing, instead of shaking hands.

When I stand in line at the checkout counter, close to a panic attack and desperately trying to keep as large a distance as possible between myself and the person in front of me, tap my shoulder (gah!) and say in a commanding tone "don't fall asleep, young man! Keep the line moving!" I was close to punching an elderly lady in the face when that happened to me.

Or, almost as bad as invading my private space without warning, cut in front of me without asking, put your groceries on the belt, and only then, after the fact, ask if you may get ahead of me. No, you may not! I mean, wtf?!? I need to get out of here ASAP before I start suffocating! But of course I can never vocalize that because I'm just too shocked, and sometimes it is this very incident that causes me to start hyperventilating and forces me to leave the store in a hurry without buying anything.

Forcing one to "socialize" when they are clearly content reading or sitting in front of a video game not bothering anyone or causing any problems in particular.

Vague directions, advice or anything of the like are incredibly aggravating, just make it absolutely clear what has to be done. Otherwise you should go do it.

I f*****g hate it when people tell me "don't worry so much" or "don't be so anxious". For f***s sake, I would if I goddamn could, but I f*****g can't! It would require me to be on drugs or something.

Someone told me this earlier on, and I'm still pissed off about it.

I'm slowly reading through all of the pages, so sorry if these have already been said.

-I hate it when people flip the hood on my hoodie and when people touch my neck, even though I've said dozens of times that it feels absolutely horrible. The worst thing is that it's my 'friends' who do it all the time.
-When in a lesson where we sometimes prepare mock trials and I'm trying to write questions to ask the witnesses, the only other person in my group that suggests anything suggests leading questions. And when I point out that they're leading questions they get pissed off at me.
-In the same lesson, when put in a group, I'm the only one that writes the argument/mock trial and everyone in my group takes the credit.
-Again in the same lesson, people can't grasp simple ideas like assumptions and flaws, even though we've been studying it for two years and have our exams in the summer.
-When people expect me to get better at throwing and catching a ball, and my team gets angry at me for losing our game of benchball/dodgeball because of my poor catching and throwing skills.
-When people feel the need to correct me constantly even though I'm right.
-When people feel the need to give me advice or the answer to a question, especially when I'm working in chronological order and the answer they gave me isn't.
-When people always have mistakes in their spelling and grammar, and the one time that I say the wrong word (which other people always do, because, you know, colloquial language) I'm very angry and am pissed of at said person.
-When people think I dislike reading because I'm a slow reader.
-When people brag about all the books that they've read and say "oh, you should probably read it now" even though I have the book at home and plan to read it next despite my painfully slow reading.
-When people get into the same stuff as me, which I don't mind, but then claim to know everything about said topic. No one at school can rival my knowledge of Harry Potter, thank you very much.
-When people ALWAYS use whom instead of who.
-When people talk in mock Old English.
-When teachers plan a 'fun' lesson, which involves working in set groups and having to present something in front of the class.
-When teachers don't hear me due to my quiet voice but don't move closer to hear me correctly.
-When people constantly sing, throw things, shout, and scream in the QUIET ROOM at lunch time, and all crowd around me when I cover my ears.
-When people tell me to cheer up because I look a bit sad.
-When people pester me about my days off.
-When I'm dragged off to go on an errand with someone and that won't benefit me.
-When people walk behind me and step on my feet.
-When people are behind me and put their hand on my shoulder or even put their hand on my shoulder to jump forward.
-When taller people treat me badly in corridors because they think I'm younger than them.
-When a friend completely ignores the fact that I said I'm not feeling good when they asked me, and continue talking about what their plans are for the day.
-When a friend says something and I agree or say something of relevance they say 'No one cares about you, so shut up.'
-When people try to get me to dance by embarrassing me.
-When people invite me to parties/meals and are angry with me if I cancel.
-When a person is caught sleeping with their boyfriend and has to postpone their special meal by several months, then blames me when I cancel going and/or for the cancellation of other people going and/or the cancellation of the whole meal.
-When I tell a person that it's likely I have ASD and they just laugh at me, and get angry when I try to explain what things could be explained by it.
-When a person has a 'heart to heart' with me and cries, saying they have no friends, so I am forced into a position where I have to say I am this person's friend despite really disliking them.
-When a person is extremely mean to me for the entire time we've known each other but doesn't see it, doesn't apologize for it, and is surprised when I'm angry at them.

Long list, sorry. I'm just very angry with a lot of people at the moment, and needed to rant somewhere.

Oh also:
-When someone puts all of their stuff on my desk so I don't have room to work and/or when the person next to me takes up most of the desk.
-When people keep brushing past me and nudging me.
-When people keep saying 'he/she' instead of using singular 'they'.

Ask why you don't talk in the mornings. For me, it's too damn early for me to be socializing or engaging in small talk I don't care for.

Tell them that all those posthumously diagnosed geniuses like Einstein, Newton and so on...were most likely NTs (which they probably were). That autism hasn't contributed to civilization, and really asperger's is just a brain abnormality that has a few good things about it, like rote memory and single-mindedness, but for the most part it's just a handicap. And that the most innovative and creative thinkers will always be NTs.

Tell them they lack empathy.

Come round unexpectedly at 9 o'clock at night, just when the Aspie wants to settle down quietly and relax in the bath. Be sensitive and take everything personally, so that the Aspie feels too guilty to tell you that tonight is her time. If she tells you, forget it and do it again the next week. For bonus points, stay til midnight each time.

Call the Aspie childish when she is having a meltdown. Rub it in by throwing the same old-school cliche ''you're an adult, you should be able to handle it maturely''. Wonder why the Aspie feels even more angrier.

Phone the Aspie up from the pub (where you and all your mates are who know the Aspie) late on a Friday night and ask if she wants to come to the pub, trying to look like you mean well. Keep interrogating the Aspie why she doesn't want to come out if she says no, and whatever reasons or excuses the Aspie gives you, repeat it out to everyone in the pub and laugh. This will feed the Aspie's depression and make her feel like social phobia and Asperger's are the two worst things in the world to have.

Lack empathy for the Aspie's feelings and opinions (then tell her that it's an Aspie thing to lack empathy, even though she spends a lot of her time feeling too much empathy for other people and having trouble with focusing on her own thoughts).

Abandon the comfy living-room stand right outside the Aspie's bedroom door having a hearty conversation for ages.

Be off work for no reason on the exact day the Aspie planned to bring her boyfriend round and wants the house to her herself (actually this is annoying to most youngsters).