Whats your most recent ASD moment?

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Had a bit of a meltdown in French class....We were asked to work in groups, and naturally I preferred working on my own, but I was frustrated with the work. Tears came and I started twitching and rocking and incoherently babbling, and I couldn't focus on the work or write, I just sorta went all mental....

I've got enough adrenaline running through my veins to question if there's any blood in them due to insane amounts of irrational anxiety

Because of such restlessness and discomfort, my inhibition program to not one-sidedly discuss special interest material ran an error... and my 50ish year old seamstress mother got a 3 hour rundown of guitar gear and specifications... not to mention useless facts about a few metal musicians

I don't usually ever tell anybody such "exciting" information unless they ask specific questions and I stop after a single answer to try and be pleasant. I know nobody who isn't a guitarist is interested in such things, and even then... guitarists probably don't want the overkill info I could give on my favorite equipment >_>

Though my autistic former girlfriend seemed to think such things were somewhat dear in moderation... I doubt anyone else finds such appreciation

This morning at work...

Not even ten minutes after arriving my supervisor/manager walks into my office and tries handing me the office camcorder in order to pull video off of it to edit. Now, this isn't work related at all. This is some HDTV show tryout/intro video thing for someone in the office that was recorded over the weekend. This has ZERO to do with my responsibilities.

However, she told me about this last week and had asked me if I would edit it a bit the following week for the person, and I agreed. BUT I do not recall her saying that it MUST be done first thing Monday morning. I work in advertising primarily, and so I have concrete deadlines that must be met, and my toughest day of the week is Monday (morning). She knows this as my manager. She is fully aware of how my Monday's are!

She was about to send in the person who the video was for to sit down with me and go over this video frame by frame for editing.

So, I tell her that video editing takes hours, and that I do NOT have the time today. She grabs the camera back and storms out saying that she'll just burn it to a disc. I'm thinking...okay, cool...that means that I can work on it later. She didn't elaborate anymore on it.

Later, I'm asked to help her in her office to burn it and find that she has done some VERY rough editing to it and wants it burned to a disc. I help her to burn it. She is still very irate with me.

A little bit later, she brings me an unused DVD-R to put away (I have the ream of them), and apparently uses her middle finger to "hand" it me. I don't notice it. So, she proceeds to mock and make fun of me to the person at the desk beside me and say "did you notice that I used THIS finger (showing her middle finger) to hand the disc to her??" I then realize what's going on, and I say to the co-worker she was talking to, "yeah, I have known that she was wanting to do that to me since 8am this morning". She then leaves and says nothing else.

She was a real as*hole to me today, and it took me all day to realize what happened really.

Yesterday I went to get my tickets for The Bloody Beetroots and had to go and do some printing. The couple in front of me were taking their time and I got annoyed but I also didn't want to get another card as it mucks up my system etc.

Well, how fussy is that. The copies were 8 cents but I paid 15 cents at the internet shop I didn't want to go to.

I stepped back with some self talk and went oh this is silly a job needs to be done i'm 47 years of age and I want perfection and it is interfering.

So I got the jobs done just had to leave the store and go and have an iced tea I just did not want a new photocopying card as I try to do it all at home.

TALK ABOUT FUSSY!

But I laughed about it, it still caused anxiety.

Then at the local eating place these two guys were having a conversation and I got flustered, then my sister began discussing the poor lady that could not swallow and about bladder issues so I had an anxiety attack and lay down for an hour when I got home then returned to work.

I just find this funny, I don't think all the other posts I have read in this long and very well-written are funny at all and I know outsiders would go, but it's only printing, but I could not have a new card even though I had an old card, I want to print at home but the printers were out of ink. ROFL I mean that is illogical to others but I had to have order. Yet, I went to the internet shop I was going to boycott to print.

So I find it funny, anxious and I do congratulate myself for putting aside being perfect and ordered and getting the job done.

No these things are real and they can paralyse one and it can interfere. But, it's real for us so hang in there all.

Hello outofplace

I have no idea if you will read this and I only log in now and again but your post struck me.

I want to thank you for putting this on the forum.

The issue with me is this. I have done this not with light blubs but with things. What frustrates me is one week I will do this act, the next week I will not care if a blub has to be brighter. That is what I have issues with. How can I one week do something like that which is considered odd but the next week do what the so called 'normal' person does

One week I will make my bed and get all stressed if it is not made. The next week I take one look at the unmade bed and go oh whatever.

One week I will go to a small gathering and be quiet and want to leave like my aspy self does, the next week I go to a small gathering and it's like I'm like a 'non aspy' person I am not on medication at the time I write this.

So thanks for sharing this out as I know now I'm not the only one that does this LOL it's irrational but it's part of our make up, it is just that I have done projects where everything was not perfect and I did not care I've done others that have caused so much anxiety as it all had to be X way or else.

I don't agree that is necessarily bad, I heard a song at a show three weeks ago and got it played it for days moved on but only play that same song now and then.

You sound just like my boyfriend (who has Asperger's)! He's actually a drummer now but used to play guitar. He could talk all day about music and especially metal. I bet he could give me the entire history of every musician he's ever heard of (which is damn near most that I could ever think of and then some.) I wish he could get a job telling people about musicians and such.

so i was with the guy i hooked up with a week ago helping him with his essay and he's like "so did you think of me this week" and i just gave him a blank look wondering if i was supposed to have thought about him and i might have a couple of times but not very much and i was wondering about the socially appropriate way to say no and was still not making any facial expression and he totally misinterpreted it and thought i had and felt guilty and stuff. i dont get how people read all that into a blank look.

i do not know if what i am about to report is associated with my autism, but i do know that few people would have became so involved with the following matter:

about 3 days ago, i noticed a spider on a wall of my lounge room. it was about 2 inches in diameter, and it was a member of the huntsman family i think. i have recently become less afraid of spiders because i know that they are not crazy and they do not dart mindlessly in all directions (including my direction) because they are smart and they are aware of my existence and avoid close proximity to the potential danger of people.

i never hated spiders because i know they are completely innocent, and they deserve to live their whole lives without interference.

i decided to let the spider be , and today i saw the spider again on the floor as i was walking to my "podium", and i back stepped so i would not tread on it (i do not know whether it was male or female so i refer to it as "it").

it seemed to be covered in dust and it walked listlessly in an attempt to get out of my way.
i have polished wooden floor boards, and dust collects under my speakers (they are very heavy to move in order to vacuum under them, so i only clean under the speakers every few months).

i realized immediately that it had not had anything to drink for 3 days and was drying up, and coupled with the fact that it was completely covered in dust, i became very sorry for it.

it seemed close to death.

i realized it had been in the nutritiously sterile environment of my house for 3 days ( a long time for such a small creature) and i became determined to save it's life. nothing else in the world mattered more to me than to restore it's chance to survive.

i found a piece of thin cardboard that could completely and rigidly be pressed onto the rim of an upturned cup, and i placed the cup (transparent) over it and slid the cardboard gently under the cup, and the spider crawled into the cardboard and it was completely contained by the cup, but it looked very frightened because it was posing in a defensive way because it knew i was holding it.

it seemed so fragile and vulnerable, and i must weigh more than 50,000 times it's weight, and it was at my mercy . thank goodness my mercy is very powerful with respect to such a defenseless little creature, and i took it out to the garden and put the cup (with the cardboard floor) on the ground and i knocked the cup over and i wanted it to realize it was now back in nature, but it walked sluggishly for a few inches (still covered in dust), and then stopped.

it has not rained here for a few days, so there are no droplets of water anywhere for it to drink, and i went inside and filled a glass with water, and i added 2 teaspoons of sugar to it, and i went out and the spider was still there motionless, and i poured a few drops onto it's head, and it initially flinched, but it then seemed to appreciate it, and i saw a droplet on its head disappear (indicating that it sucked the droplet in). but it still did not run away because it was exhausted and close to death.

i went back inside to continue playing my game, but i could not stop worrying about it, and i went outside 15 minutes later and it was still there and i started to feel seriously worried for it, and i went back inside to play my game but i could not concentrate on the game because the spider's welfare consumed my mind.

i went back out 5 minutes later and it was gone, so i guess it recovered and is now an active little spider back in it's natural environment. i know it would not have been predated upon because i put it under a low slung branch of a shrub in the shade and it was very well camouflaged (i had to place a stick on the ground that pointed to it so i could find it again).

hopefully it is now doing what it was born to do, and hopefully it is content now.

i can not see how some people think their feelings are more powerful than the feelings of any other creature. that little spider is more innocent than any one on earth (really (do not bother to challenge me on that)), and it deserves to live its one chance at life to the full.

good luck little one.

My friends and I exchange lists for items to purchase for each other as gifts. While writing down items he was requesting, he said he wanted a certain comic book which had the first appearance of the character Deadpool (from another comic series). I jotted it down without a second thought and he started to laugh hysterically. I looked up at him with a puzzled look on my face. He then replied that he was joking and that it was a $200 comic book. It would have helped if he would have used a tone of voice to convey that he was joking.

this happened yesterday but i was talking to a guy and i mentioned that i was obsessing over something(my SI) and that the weather was making it hard to deal with because i wanted to do it but couldnt and he was like what? and then in a desperate, pained and urgent tone of voice im like "plants! i need to plant something- anything! now!" he was just like "you're crazy" and went back to doing his work. im just really frustrated that i havent been able to pursue my SI. life. its just hard.

Not being able to understand English.

I was having an intensely emotional conversation with my partner. I was tired and stressed, so my autism issues were in fairly high gear. Half the stuff she was saying to me, I could not understand. I heard and understood the individual words, but the finished sentences kept having no meaning. It was like I was listening to someone speaking another language entirely.

earlier this evening i visited my parents and brought my dog with me. as with most dog owners, i believe, i really think my dog is one of the best. anyway. while i'm at my parents, some friends of my parents comes by and we all share a cake, drink some coffee and talking. so far so good, nothing strange. i know these people well. these visitors haven't seen my dog before and as they also are dog owners we talk about our dogs for some time. one of them says my dog seems kind and easygoing (English isn't my first language, don't quite know the appropriate word). at first i'm somewhat glad, it's nice to hear. then i think about how i should respond. and then i think that, like every dog owner, i believe my dog is among the best. knowing we're both dog owners, both have our romantic beliefs on behalf of our dogs i became utterly confused and couldn't think of an answer. i didn't want to brag or anything like that, didn't think of a 'thank you' and ended up behind my cup of coffee in silence, feeling strange.

family dinner tonight for my sister's birthday.......I said I was going to try to get a job as a proof-reader so my sister's boyfriend's father said "okay, you can edit my paper for me" and I said okay , and I said he could get my email from my sister and send me his paper. Then everyone laughed at me...they thought it was hilarious. Apparently he was not serious about me editing his paper and that was obvious from the way he said it.

WONDERING ABOUT B9' S COGNITIVE DISSONANCE.

So much concern fot the spider yet off he goes to the servo for a sausage roll * I thought he said he doesn't like "fake meat" what constitutes a sausage roll I wonder well lets just say I've had many meat eaters tell me the vegetarian equivalent tastes very similar some have said it tastes better!

OH well another day another "export" scandal , didn't happen "safe guards" so on and so forth.

No offense

* with a chocolate milk jesus with all that sugar and "additives" you might as well have the plant based drink you wont notice the difference, seriously.(except improved health that is)

I had to pace a little last night to transition to bed.