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AmberEyes
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25 Jun 2009, 5:40 am

Yes.
People definitely pick up on something when they talk to me.
People have commented, politely, without really realising what they were seeing themselves.

There is a definite inadvertent stare in the eyes.
This probably produces reactions of fear or awe in other people.
Perhaps others are unsure about how to socially react to this expression?
Perhaps this produces a gut reaction?
So people are either intensely drawn or intensely repelled by it.
It has a powerful affect on others or can make the individual seem "invisible". Never in between.

I've only just realised this.
The reason why I didn't notice it before was because I was surrounded by people (some close friends and family) who had this "staring" look.

This is why I didn't think it was odd, I thought it was perfectly normal.
But when I look around, I realise that the majority of people don't have this look about them at all.

The people that do have this look, I've noticed, tend to be specialists and/or work in quiet environments with not a lot of people around.


As for this whole "crazy eyes" thing, I think there's something to it.

Perhaps the eyes appear "crazy" when the individual has to scan the physical environment?

I've seen people like this, but they weren't "crazy": they just took an active interest in the physical environment around them and took jobs that matched this interest.

Perhaps some ADHD people have this look when scanning the environment?

When you're scanning the physical environment, perhaps this comes at a cost of appearing socially engaged?

You can't pay full attention to both the physical environment and the person you're talking to at the same time.

Something "has to give"...


My eyes scan around a lot.
It's instinctive.
It takes a lot of conscious effort to try and stop this investigative behaviour.
My wandering eyes are part of who I am.
Perhaps it's a kind of temperament?



AmberEyes
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25 Jun 2009, 6:01 am

Some people I've known have gazes like this:

http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/story?id=3006889&page=1

I have a gaze like this.

Because I wasn't looking for it before, I didn't realise it even existed.

I can think of several instances in popular culture and cartoon shows where this type of gaze is portrayed, usually by a "techie" stereotype character. This "gaze" is often comically portrayed as a kind of "social obliviousness".

Perhaps that's what it looks like from the outside even if it's completely inadvertent? :?



Rocky
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25 Jun 2009, 4:59 pm

(My new avatar is coincidental :) .)

When I was in Boy Scouts many years ago, I remember a line of scouts waiting to try to look in to my eyes without my glasses on. Each one in turn reacted with amazement after a few seconds and had to quit. I don't remember what they said, exactly. I would guess this was a result of the kid's game of trying to outlast the opponent's stare.


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activebutodd
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25 Jun 2009, 5:18 pm

AmberEyes wrote:
Some people I've known have gazes like this:

I can think of several instances in popular culture and cartoon shows where this type of gaze is portrayed, usually by a "techie" stereotype character. This "gaze" is often comically portrayed as a kind of "social obliviousness".

Perhaps that's what it looks like from the outside even if it's completely inadvertent? :?


They're just jealous cos we're smart. If NT people don't like my beady eyes, they don't have to look at me! :P



Vimse
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25 Jun 2009, 5:47 pm

I have a stare that make people uncomfortable. They get fidgety and nervous looking. So I try not to look at them and it seems to work.



GeomAsp
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26 Jun 2009, 9:28 am

People seem to be uncomfortable when they are talking to me. They don't like the way i look at them, i have tried to find out why this happens. But so far all the hypocrite NT's refuse to tell me what's going on. Maybe this is the reason.

Also for this and the lack of facial expression in my face, they always ask me if i understand what they tell me. No matter how many times i explain that although i appear to be distant, i get every single word they tell me. I got very angry because of this. I don't know what to do.


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Ana54
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26 Jun 2009, 10:28 am

I`ve seen a lot of pictures of young boys with AS who have an "Asperger`s stare". The oldest boy I saw like that was my friend who was 14 or 15 at the time, and I saw his picture. He had deep-set eyes and was looking straight ahead. My father described him as intense-looking. My mother described that look as classic Asperger`s.



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26 Jun 2009, 3:04 pm

I know this stare well. There is a person I've known for years that I used to hang out with quite often. Outwardly I'd say he fits the criteria for asperger's syndrome pretty well, given his awkward gestures, way of running, use of eating utensils, blah blah blah, it goes on. Everyone I know thinks he's as dumb as a box of rocks, but I know better. He is just kind of slow, but not stupid, and sometimes appears to lack common sense.

No actual diagnosis that I've ever been told by anyone in his family, but this guy gives the stare like nobody I know. It's not a stare at you, it's a stare into space. That is how I've described it to others. When talking to him, he has been known quite frequently to just stare off into nothingness, and shortly after that he will interrupt you with his own topic, like he wasn't even listening to you to begin with. Kind of strange, especially since the previous topic was one he was interested in, and yet he stares into space and then interrupts with a new topic.

I've had my fair share of people misunderstanding what's going on in my head when I'm spacing out. They usually think I'm upset about something, or extremely bored.


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activebutodd
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26 Jun 2009, 3:14 pm

Ha ha, I just noticed a Cannabis Helpline ad at the top of the page. Yes, I tend to stare into space, it's sometimes easier to deal with than what's happening on Earth.



Pook
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26 Jun 2009, 9:44 pm

Yup I do. Can't tell you how many times I've embarassed myself when I realise I "was out to lunch" and found myself staring. Sometimes it seems to happen more often when I am stressed in a social situation or upset and other times when I am tired and can't maintain the NT appearance.



AmberEyes
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02 Jul 2009, 9:44 am

activebutodd wrote:
AmberEyes wrote:
Some people I've known have gazes like this:

I can think of several instances in popular culture and cartoon shows where this type of gaze is portrayed, usually by a "techie" stereotype character. This "gaze" is often comically portrayed as a kind of "social obliviousness".

Perhaps that's what it looks like from the outside even if it's completely inadvertent? :?


They're just jealous cos we're smart. If NT people don't like my beady eyes, they don't have to look at me! :P


I'm not sure.

People were reacting to me negatively long before I ever became "smart".

I now believe that it's an inadvertent expression that's misinterpreted as a "threat".

Perhaps other people do feel threatened if they cannot read another person's facial expression (especially if the expression doesn't seem to match what is being said or is blank).

Perhaps other people don't give a blank "stare" the "benefit of the doubt" if they can't socially interpret it. I believe that an "unreadable" expression could be reacted to with either fear or awe: that's a fight or flight "gut reaction".

That often translates to the other person as "fight" or lampoon/bully.

Sadly, I now can see the survival value this reaction would have for the other person. I say this even though I've been on the receiving end of such gut reactions.

Human beings are social animals and are variably social. Perhaps some of the more sociable ones have trouble interpreting the less social ones facial expressions and vice versa. I also speculate that how you react to someone depends on your own socialising history and facial expressions. That would make sense, to me anyway.

I also noticed that many so called "disorders" (hate this word) have a "lack of facial affect" mentioned as a common component. It does look like people want to categorise and effectively shun people with "blank" looking facial expressions. Perhaps, this is a societal version of the "gut reaction" or "fear"?



TonyFremont
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02 Jul 2009, 9:58 am

Pook wrote:
Yup I do. Can't tell you how many times I've embarassed myself when I realise I "was out to lunch" and found myself staring. Sometimes it seems to happen more often when I am stressed in a social situation or upset and other times when I am tired and can't maintain the NT appearance.


I just tell people I have astigmatism or I'm really tired. Or sometimes I just say "I only do that when I'm lying" (and then I tell them I have astigmatism or I'm really tired.) Usually I do it when I'm drinking, so I don't really need an excuse.



ProfessorX
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02 Jul 2009, 10:54 am

Yes, I've often been told that I tend to have a disconcerting stare, yet I simply don't try to stare or look at someone in a ill-mannered way.No, I sometimes don't realise that I'm gazing at someone in form that could be seen as uncomfortable..These days, I try to simply glance briefly at one's nose when speaking but, not focus on such merely use it as a focal point and nothing more, in that it has helped me when talking with people..



ddunkin
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02 Jul 2009, 2:55 pm

Direct eye contact to me is uncomfortable, too personal, and just makes me nervous. I've been trying it out a bit more these days in small amounts (quick glances) and people seem to be reacting positively.

I tend to stare at someones cheeks, or ears to keep the anxiety down. It isn't a direct connection, so it likely looks distant/disconnected from their perspective. The most they can assume is that I am looking through then.



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02 Jul 2009, 2:58 pm

GeomAsp wrote:
People seem to be uncomfortable when they are talking to me. They don't like the way i look at them, i have tried to find out why this happens. But so far all the hypocrite NT's refuse to tell me what's going on. Maybe this is the reason.


I don't believe that even they know why they are uncomfortable. I'd say us with AS are a bit more in-touch with ourselves, and have to consciously/logically determine what is going on, while it is second nature to them.



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02 Jul 2009, 3:07 pm

From what I take it the AS stare is just a gaze with wide-open eyes and a blank or awed expression the face. I don't really see what's "haunting" about it, I would think people would more along the lines think "what are heck are you looking at?", but everyones different and takes things differently.

I generally don't do the "AS stare", but people say I have a piercing intense look about me, although I try not to stare at people (prolonged gaze), but I do look people in the eyes when they're talking to me or I'm talking to them. I think some people find something piercing, intense, and electrifying about me. I can't exactly pin-point the exact details of it though.