Self Diagnosis.

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Hey guys.. before you flip out, remember that someone selecting the "Have Asperger's-- Diagnosed" option is just as easy for someone who isn't diagnosed as it is for somebody that is. This poster may very well not have any disorder at all, let alone have a diagnosis. We all know that people who have things sometimes go undiagnosed, people who don't have things sometimes do get diagnosed, and trolls lie. What are the chances, really, that the OP decided to come troll a support forum for a disorder they actually have? Trying to present a rational argument to a troll isn't going to get anybody anywhere, it's just going to get you upset. Better to install greasemonkey and just block trolling posts. This person isn't going to care how rational or right any of your points are, because they're not here for information or to understand anything. They're just here to troll.

Amen. I have troll experience. Don't feed them, and for God's sake, stay away from bridges!

Yeah...trolly trolly trolling around....
I don't even know anymore whether I am self-diagnosed or not.
I would not have been on this forum for so long if I did not relate to the people here.
I didn't call myself an Aspie before my assessment...or at least I struggled with the notion of calling myself one.
Even though I had an AS specialist give her opinion that I was an aspie...it does not count as a diagnosis..even though I would have liked for it to have...
Then that opinion was seconded by the last psychiatrist I saw, but he wrote PDD-NOS on my chart...But that was not the same as having the expensive tests....which I guess by the OP's criteria is the only thing that would = a diagnosis..

When I was a kid...there was no such thing as Asperger's or ADD...I had serious stuggles that are very similar to the stuggles of many here on the board...The school authorities simply did not know what to do with me...since I was obviously not ret*d....
I continue to be an emotionally stunted adult and though I may not present like a classic aspie...I am aware that I am not wired like most people....and I walk on my toes and have meltdowns and avoid eye contact and have obsessive interests and blah blah blah...I may be a bit more socially dynamic than some on the spectrum, but I have also met aspies and people who are DIAGNOSED who ARE social....

I also have autism in my family....

I may never have the disposable income to spend on a formal diagnosis...but that won't stop me from coming here for support.

When I first discovered Aspergers, the forums that i first joined were overrun with AS-diagnosed elitists and it was really painful..

Ahh.. the root of the problem. Surprised nobody else picked up on this... You feel like you've genetically failed your child and now, you're being over protective. Protective of a mental standpoint, nonetheless. It's in my nature to not have empathy for you and your short comings not only as a parent but as a human being, but I'm making an effort of trying to change myself to a more "normal" person I'll attempt it on your behalf. Feed the troll, so to speak...

Your child is diagnosed. Are you upset your child isn't as special as you thought? What are you finding is being taken from your child by anyone who self diagnosed? Do you think your child has a problem with it? Explain why it matters to you that I personally diagnosed myself as possibly having Asperger's? Considering you're so protective of your child, explain why your child should be upset that I'm self diagnosed. I'm not shaping the minds of Doctors or Psychologists and warping your childs diagnosis, nor is anyone else here. So explain the hostility. Use FACT in your reply, not your opinion. Keep your personal feelings out of it and explain to us all why, first of all, you're so high and mighty and second, why it matters to anyone that they self diagnose. This is probably your last chance to be taken seriously on this forum. I would assume you've got some mind blowing revelations to back up your problem? For if you can't do that, please feel free to check your attitude when you log on and use the forum to actually HELP your CHILD! Your child should be your number one concern, not me or anyone else who's "self diagnosed."

You're not only failing your child, but yourself. Closed mindedness is what kept people like myself from being diagnosed in the first place. You're delusional if you honestly think your opinion is going to dissuade anyone from diagnosing themselves. Your opinion means nothing to anyone. You're nobody. Make no mistake though, you being nobody is not an opinion of mine, but fact.

I have no interest in being diagnosed. Personally I'm afraid of being condemned to a think tank. One of a long list of my irrational fears and thoughts. I know you don't care about why I think I have AS. I won't attempt to explain it. I could care less what you think of me.

With all this being said, maybe you should take some time to self reflect. Maybe you should consider that it's a big world, lots of people, lots of different mindsets. If we find comfort in associating ourselves with AS, what's it to you? Please realize one thing though, those of us who self diagnosed generally didn't align with AS symptoms, the AS symptoms aligned with us. Someone without AS won't read the symptoms of it and suddenly parallel themselves unless there's already a mental problem. While I won't tell you that it won't or hasn't happened, I will tell you that more than likely it's a rare occurrence.

While we're rational enough to understand that the opinion of NT people are valid and generally helpful, we're smart enough to know that you personally, are full of s**t. I enjoy NT telling their perspective, but your arrogance isn't well received or appreciated. Typical I think of an NT to feel superior in some way here. I hope you don't project your superior arrogant BS complex on to your child as you have us. You should change your views before your child resents you for it. If your child IS diagnosed, I can guarantee he or she WILL see your personality flaws and, well, much like my mother, kicked to the curb because of it.

I offer a quote from Samuel Butler “The truest characters of ignorance are vanity,pride and arrogance.” I've shown you why this applies to you. Show your ignorance by responding!

Namaste

It is not appropriate to belittle and demean other members on the forum, aspieconfirmed, regardless of their diagnostic status - such behavior can well be considered an attack; similarly, it is inappropriate for other members to label someone a troll. If you have concerns about a member's behavior, please contact a moderator.


M.

When you are someone who states what they observe without understanding that what is being said is probably not very nice, then you're going to say those very things. It's that blatant honesty that comes in every specially marked package of AS (empathy not included).

Was that directed at my comment, M?

And if I may;

The forum gave him the rope he tied around his neck. He put himself in the air I just kicked away the chair.

Namaste

Something I find exceedingly funny and quite telling, is that although I am probably the person who would be most justified in feeling hurt or insulted by Aspieconfirmed's comments, i feel none of that. My predominant mental state with regard to this poster's statements is bewilderment. This is a pretty much "normal for me" state of affairs with regard to my dealings with others. In contrast, makuranososhi's few words in response to my post touched me deeply. Put another way, I'm very much accustomed to being misunderstood, and attacked as a result of someone elses preconceived erronious notions of who I am or what my motives are. I am used to this and therefore essentially numb to it, particularly so if it has little chance of affecting my life. Makuranososhi's few words of understanding and affermation were so rare and unusual, that I actualy had tears of joy from being understood. I view autisim sort of like playing a game of charades, where no matter what actions one portrays, the other person just does not, can not get your meaning. The frustration one experiences is natural.

With regard to relative expertice in the field of autisim, allow me to make this allagory. Tom Clancey is percieved as an "expert" regarding the submarine service. He gained this expertice by talking to and learning from many people such as myself. Although he is very knowledgeable on the topic, he has not logged one second of time "on the shitter at test depth". I have. He never earned the designation "Qualified in Submarines". I did. So who is the "real" expert. On this site exists the cumulative experience of thousands of years of dealing with autisim. Unless the "expert" you are consulting with is Tony Attwood, a real specialist and expert on Aspergers, I would give more creedence to the views of someone who has "been there, done that", than to someone who might just maybe have taken a single course on the subject within the parameters of a broad carreer field.

For what it's worth, when I discuss AS with others, I almost always prefix my conversation with: 'I have come to believe I have a condition known as Aspergers syndrome", which is in fact a true staement. My personal motive in discussing the topic is not as an excuse for bad behavior, or to seek sympathy, but rather to explain that what they think I think is not necesarily the case, and therefore hopefuly circumvent any anamosities and ill will that would likely ensue lacking that knowledge.

So Aspieconfirmed, I am truely curius, is AS nothing more to you than a piece of paper that says so? If not, what does it mean to you. I will also state my opinion that I reject the notion that any fact about any individual in any way affects the value of another. It's sort of like asking the question who was the "better" person Albert Einstein or Mother Teresa. The logical answer would be yes, depending upon your perspective. So Aspieconfirmed, help me to understand, because at present I don't.

My comments were posted in general; if there is a specific issue, I generally will contact you via PM. But just because the opportunity is there does not mean one must take it; we have a responsibility to each other to be supportive, not adding to the labels tossed around at those on the spectrum often so carelessly.


M.

Well, because I was diagnosed under DSM III(R) criteria, I had atypical autism until late 2008. Diagnostic criteria change over time as understanding and perception of disease change. In Korea, for example, autism is regarded as a failure to attach to the mother during infancy.

My parents had known about my autism since 1985 or 1986 but they didn't tell me until I went to a psychologist myself and was told that I probably had AS (no formal diagnosis due to age).

I do agree that there are probably a good number of false positives, because AS and autism aren't the same thing as knowing whether or not you have a rash; but, I think that there are also a number of people who legitimately have an ASD and don't have access to proper services for diagnosis.

In the US, the government isn't terribly helpful if you aren't completely destitute and in other Western countries there's still this idea that autism is a childhood disorder. So, there are definite barriers for adults who suspect they may have an ASD getting a diagnosis.

Nobody on WP can "steal" services from your son without a formal diagnosis. Not in a public school or university (I used to handle disability accommodation at one) and not from a government agency. Yeah, there are probably a lot of people here who just have SAD, BPD, or other more treatable conditions, but we have no way of knowing that.

I too, made that connection, however I perceived it from the perspective of an NT over protective mother. When I pulled Aspieconfirmed's profile and saw he was DXed and male, I was less clear on the topic. I suspect your viewpoints on child rearing and mine are quite similar, as evidenced by a post I made last night on another thread, however you've BTDT and I have not.

I also had a very over protective mother who I felt viewed me as an object rather than as a person. It was not until I was into my thirties and near suicide that she was able to reach out and actualy listen to what I had to say. We had not talked for two years prior to that event. She was able to feel what I felt because she had been BTDT with my father. It was my position of weakness and her position of strength that allowed her to feel maternal for the first time in our experience. Our relationship today, although not spiffy, is far better than I would have ever immagined.

With regard to Aspieconfirmed, although I can well sympathise with your perspective, I found your comments directed at him to be harsh and belittling. Is not beating up a bully essentially being a bully one's self? Perhaps this is what NTs see in us. Maybe the self satisfaction you seemed to derive from trashing this poster has the same root cause that makes NTs want to trash us. Our superior intelect makes them feel small and insignificant. It would seem natural for them to derive pleasure from making us pay for the pain they feel. If Aspieconfirmed is in fact AS, he is probably in the same boat as the rest of us, in the words of a song; sharing a drink they call lonlieness. I don't mean to defend the offensive nature of his posts, I merely feel that of all people we should be more understanding, if not, how in the hell can we ever resonably expect those who can't even understand our perspective to do so.

I'm autistic, and I can speak for myself. I think Aspieconfirmed has that same right, however society does have it's rules, and AS, DXed or not, is a poor excuse for bad behavior.

Agreed.

I hate having anyone make excuses for me for any reason. If you want to see me spit vitriol, a surefire way is to say something like 'She can't help it, she's young' or some such.

I could have written pretty much what Aimless said. I'm not sure that I would say that I know more about AS than my son's doctor does, but I'm quite sure that I know more about it than many doctors. That's not a huge stretch. I've been studying autism for about six years, since my son was diagnosed. There's more to it than simply ticking off criteria on the DSM.

This statement, "You people are turning autism into ADHD, simply your excuse for bad behavior socially" is offensive to me. There are people here with ADHD, either alone or along with AS. Believe me, it's real. If you think people use it as an excuse, then maybe you've been reading too many magazines or watching too many daytime talk shows where people talk about things they don't understand. I struggle SOOOOO much each day, trying to do things that most grown-ups take for granted. I've struggled all my life. I'm sure I'd get a ADHD-Inattentive Type diagnosis if I could just get my act together to find a doctor, because I fit every one of the criteria in a big way. With AS, it's not so cut and dry, and more up to interpretation. For the purposes of this board, I generally consider myself a mild aspie. Mostly, I either relate to what people are talking about, or I don't. It's not rocket science.

I would NEVER, EVER use my self-perceived AS or ADHD as an excuse to anyone IRL. I might say, "I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get XYZ accomplished; I have a lot of difficulty with multi-tasking." That's not an "excuse". It's a fact. I struggle immensely with tasks that other grown-ups take for granted. And what if I did have an official ADHD diagnosis? What if I did say, "I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get XYZ accomplished; I have ADHD?" People like you would think I was a lazy person who had picked the latest, trendy excuse out of a hat. But why humiliate myself in that way? Why not just do the task properly and on time? Because I frigging can't! Some days are better than others, and I accomplish a bit of something, and boy does that feel good! Some days that is not the case.

If you are concerned for your son, then learn about AS, and how it affects him, and how you can help him get what he needs from school. But please don't come on here and antagonize the very people who could help you with that.

Some do but I think they are just doing it to make themselves feel better.

I'll plead guilty to that sin, although I think "romanticizing" might be a little strong of a word. I realy do believe AS can be as much of a blessing as a curse. If I can see myself as an Einstein or Newton, and use that hope to make me do better, what's the harm. I don't see it as any different than a black kid on the south side of Chicago seeing him self as growing up to be like Barrak Obama, and using that hope to motivate him to do well in school, instead of not being able to see any future for himself beyond drug dealer, or gang member. Hope is a very important motivator.