My Aspie son has threatened to kill me.

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Pekkla, you have stated in your other thread about your son punching a hole in the wall, that he is bullied relentlessly in school. Many people in this thread have suggested taking him out of school. If that's not possible for some reason, perhaps you should bring a law suit against the school for not doing their job in protecting him. I would suggest that the first order of business would be to do something to put an end to the bullying and let your son know that you will not stand for people treating him that way. He needs an advocate and if you can't advocate for him for and protect him from the hell that school puts in him, you must find someone who can. There must be a Youth Advocacy Program in a state as socially progressive as California, especially in Berkley.

Also, Pekkla, you stated that you were a lawyer for 15 years working with low income families. I should think with that experience you would be better equipped than the average person to know the law and find the resources you need to help your son and yourself without relying on the advice from an internet forum in a matter as serious as this. Yes, we can offer insights and suggestions, but we don't really know the personal details that would be necessary to offer you the kind of help and advice you need. You have advised others to be wary of social services because of your own previous experience with them. I'm not sure what you meant by that. I'm sure this site is a great source of support for you and hope it will continue to be, but you've got to put on your lawyer's cap and start some action to stop the bullying of your son. Today, not tomorrow.

Without having ever met the kid, you have already concluded that this 13 year old boy is a monster. This is exactly how the abusers of Aspie kids co-opt others to partake in their dark pleasures. Some of you have even decided that it is important to return violence for violence and to have the child committed forcefully against his will in an institution. All I am asking you to do is to take a step back and to examine why this kid is behaving the way he is.

All of the information we have comes from his mother. She takes pains to portray herself as a self sacrificing care giver who is at her wits ends despite giving everything and then some to this ill fated child. We know that he is not completely isolated because he has friends online with whom he plays MMORPGs with. He goes to school but life there too is difficult as he is bullied and harassed incessantly. At home he has punched holes in the wall, acted aggressively towards his younger sister and has told his mother that he wants to kill her.

Everything that we are told about the kid points to a problem child who must be dealt with. Since there is no way to verify the information or get a more complete picture, it is important to focus on the person who has brought it to our attention – his mother. She clearly dislikes this child and appears to want to get rid of him. She tells us that the boy has threatened to kill her but notice that she does not tell us why he would say something like that. Can it really be over a matter of drying his hands after washing them? Is his refusal to obey a way of pushing back?

We also know that his mother comes online to publicize his failings to an interested audience who can be counted on to make snap and emotional judgments. Online forums can provide a useful outlet for people to let off steam, but what she has been saying is bound to twist the emotional chords of even the most battle hardened veteran. She does not just paint an increasingly dire picture of the child, she claims our affiliation by stating that she too is on the spectrum. We are now asked to take sides between an autistic mother and an autistic child. The mother tells us that she conforms to the desired imagery of goodness while systematically portraying the child as evil reincarnate. All this you accept without question and come to the conclusion that this 13 year old boy must be dealt with as if he is a 30 year old psychopath.

I am not suggesting that there are no problems with the child because I do not know. What I am asking you to do is to look more closely at what this woman is saying before you draw your conclusions.

I use to wish my parents were dead...then again it was a raging alcoholic environment and very chaotic.

I'm not sure what postive feedback will except getting him some help but also getting therapy for yourself. This doesn't sound like a kid with a few anger issues.

Anyway I don't know the whole story as there are two sides always to a story. Doesn't mean it's your fault but I do think you both may need face to face insight and feedback from a therapist as well as a psychiatrist.

I had to hospitalized a few times for my suicide attempts. It was then that I wasn't diagnosed and had suffered clinical depression. Depression can come in many forms, perhaps something happened to him that even you don't know about. I don't know but this isn't normal even for an aspie kid. There's other factors going on, that's for sure.

I'm sorry but when a kid is threatening to kill or hurt her or if he is abusing her, she has every right to her own safety by sending him away. She has stated she doesn't want him to removed so she is trying to find other solutions to the problem than having to send him away or have him taken from her for her own safety.


Ever seen Dangerous Child? It's a movie about a 16 year old boy who has anger issues and he start beating his mother and throwing things at her when he wouldn't get his way. At first the mother was in denial and kept telling herself it was normal teen behavior but then she realized it was a problem so she tries to seek help but instead there was no information about parent abuse from teens and she was unable to find help because of it. There was information on elderly abuse by their adult kids but no information on parent abuse by their teen kids. I was so amazed by that that there be no information about it anywhere or no shelter for women who are abused by their teens. I mean what does society think? That kids can't abuse their parents as children? This was a lifetime movie BTW. I bet that was the whole point of the movie, to show that kids can be abusers and it was to spread awareness.

Heck I have heard of parents having to call the police on their own children because they were assaulting them. One of my neighbors got in a fight with her mom (which was my parents' renter renting their home on their land) and started hitting her and beating on her so she was able to restrain her and she ordered her ten year old son to call the police and the girl was taken to jail and away from her mother and she was placed with her dad and the mother didn't have custody over her anymore. The girl was also 16 and I was 17 then when it happened. Then I heard she had done it before.

Instead of accusing the mother, why don't you ask her questions. If she doesn't answer and you see she has been in this thread ever since you have asked her, then you can start assuming because not answering means something and it raises a red flag.

Quoting Zeno:

Never mind.

It was directed at Zeno.

A couple people on this forum have serious, deep issues. The cruelty directed at the mother is completely uncalled for. I guess it goes to show that someone w/AS can be just a big of an ass as any NT could ever be.

I mentioned about her that she should send her son away but I didn't mean institution. The kid would just be in a hospital or rehab where he get help for his anger and learn how to control it. I am against violence and believe everyone has every right to be safe and there are no excuses for it. I think if someone is threatening to kill someone or hurt someone and if the mother is scarred, she should send her kid away so he or she can get help and it's for his or her safety and others in the family.

Remember Sky Walker, his mom should have sent him away but look what happened? He killed her by hitting her during his meltdown and now he is really locked in a institution or something because he was held unaccountable for his actions. So if a mother keeps letting her teen be violent or ignores the threats, what if her kid really does kill her, he will go to jail and maybe be in jail for a long long time or maybe for the rest of his life. Saying you want to kill someone is very serious today, it is no longer a figure of speech. I sure wouldn't say it when mad because it can be taken seriously and I might find the police on my door step arresting me for threatening someone and I might find myself in rehab or something.

Of course it's possible someone might have broken into Sky's home and beat his mother and then he ran off and it was assumed he did it because one he was the only one in the house with her, two he is autistic and it's portrayed we are violent. But I didn't read anything about them investigating the home seeing if there were any intruders and all so I assume they didn't do it. Instead it appeared they talked to the friends of the mother and neighbors because it was mentioned she lock herself in the closet as Sky would be pounding on the door during his meltdowns. So because Sky has violent meltdowns, it was assumed he did it but I admit it's possible he is innocent and someone could have broken into their home and beat the mother to death but we might never know. No wonder people were screaming out "discrimination." They probably didn't even investigate the house and it was easier to assume Sky did it than spending money to look for footprints and hair and all. If Sky were verbal, he be telling his side of the story and be defending himself in court and maybe hire investigators. He would have gotten a lawyer but because he has a mind of a two year old, he can't even write or type and he hardly speaks.

I also mentioned putting my son in inpatient treatment, which was about 7-10 days, twice. that is not institutionalizing a child. it's getting help. I doubt the OP's situation is anything like mine, and I said so and agreed she should talk to her son, but I also brought up my situation because threats of violence that start turning into the real thing need to be dealt with so that everyone is safe.

The “you” does not refer to anyone in particular. I am genuinely shocked that most of you do not seem to see that a 13 year old boy is desperately in need of help. Based on his mother’s representations alone, you have decided to dehumanize him. He is presumed to be the guilty aggressor just based on what his mother has said.

But from what his mother has revealed, it is clear that not everyone thinks of him as a monster. He has friends whom he plays with online. Here is at least one inconsistency in her portrait of her son. This potential psychotic murderer is not the frightening loner that you might think him to be. Some people regard him as a worthwhile human companion.

The issue is highly sensitive and this is not the first time I have responded as such to similar postings. From the way people are responding to this issue, you can see why the abused Aspie child can never hope to win. They are the monsters that everyone agrees must be “taught a lesson”.

Before you start taking sides, try to understand that it is a 13 year old boy whom you have never met that you are judging. Take a step back and ask yourself why this mother did what she did in broadcasting these stories before you decide to lynch me as well.