Your funniest Asperger's moment

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At a business meeting last week I stayed focussed with strong eye contact (ok I had small 'rest breaks' that weren't noticable to the NTs.

I stayed intellectually focussed, no blurts but a silly 'taking it literally' comment that was disguised as a confirmation question.

When the business part of the meeting ended we proceeded to 'social dinner'.

I was looking everywhere BUT the face of the same person and let out quite a few blursts.

Fortunately, the other person seemed to be exhibiting some 'spectrum' behaviour too and his follow up email was very complimentary!

So, my company is sponsoring a local fund raising event.

The organisers asked for our company logo, so I emailed them our logo, the symbol that we use for visual identification.

They then very politely asked me if we wanted to include the name of our company WITH the logo

Of course we do and at this point I really caught up with the NTs and included WITH the company name, the business description that always appears UNDER our company name.


I had a really good laugh about this one

Well, i have a couple of moments (pretty sure i listed them elsewhere on a similar topic):

Well, was at a party of some kind (was between 8 and 12 years old) and there was a magician act. Well, he was being funny/silly as he is an entertainer. Well, i had just learned how some people use the word "idiot" and well . . . guess what he got called by me . . . >.>

On another incident, my family had their long time friends at our house for dinner. I forgot what the meal was (meatloaf likely since i absolutely detest it) and i started just going into a panic over it (plus the noise level). Now, i was sitting at the table, boxed in since there was a wall behind me and people all around, so i was acting up because of the building panic and had no way to get out after being told to go to my room, so one of my parents said, "Well, crawl under the table and go to your room." Well . . . I did, and now i hear no end to it.

There were likely others, but only my parents really remember them now.

I count my auditory processing disorder as included in AS, so here's one of those moments:

Some acquaintances and I were sitting out on somebody's back porch, hanging out and talking. Somehow we got on the topic of soda, and someone said something. I heard: "Why is it that black people always drink Sprite?" And I agreed, saying that I'd noticed the same thing at my lame foodservice job. Black customers seemed to always order Sprite. And then there was dead silence. The original speaker eventually explained: "Uh, I said FAT people, not Black people....." More silence and odd stares. I don't think I spoke for the rest of the night.

Good thing I'm seriously not racist

I have a memory like a sieve. When I was in college (at the University of North Carolina), I was late for a class, so I drove to class and parked in a Chapel Hill parking deck near campus. When I was done with classes for the day and headed back to my apartment, forgetting how I got to class that day, I took the bus home. I got up the next day, looked in the parking lot and wondered for a minute why my car was nowhere to be seen when I realized what had happened. Luckily my car hadn't been towed (even though it had been there for over 24 hours); I think it cost me $25-30 to get it out.

I was at a restaurant with two mates. A gentleman walked up to me, and smiled. He said, "Can I get you a drink?"

I replied, "But I don't even know you."

He hit the floor laughing. My friends laughed. I didn't understand.


This one may appear racist, but it isn't if you think about it.

I was in London's Natural History Museum with a mate, and we walked around a corner to be presented with a real whale skeleton, suspended from the ceiling.

I turned my head and saw a Japanese family. I said loudly, "Don't harpoon it, it's already dead..." and walked away.

I nearly got arrested once for taking a bottle of rum to self service after being refused service at a cash register, I thought well I'm legally attempting to buy this object so I'll do it myself if these incompetent fruitloops are impeding my progress toward cheap rum...

A lady once stopped me in the street and asked, "What's the quickest way to get to town?"

I said, "Walk quicker."

When I was eight I stripped naked in class. We had swimming for the next lesson and I wanted to save time getting changed and so spend more time in the water. I was made to stand up!

On a summer road trip to the midwest, I showered with some kind of weird Almond soap(I think it was called Yardly or something) I just HAD to use that soap because I forgot to pack mine. Well, I must not have rinsed well enough because I was in a hurry to go sight seeing with my camera. Bees started following my every move and I was worried.
The scent attracted the bees in swarms, in a matter of seconds my left arm was covered in bees, I panicked because I am allergic but instead of yelling I made some unorthodox facial expressions of panic, people started laughing at me but I kept my cool until the bees slowly started leaving my arm, miraculously not a single bee stung me even though there must have been close to 500 of them!

When I was 6 or 7, I was taken to some general children psychiatrist to be done some compulsory mental testing before first grade. I wasn't aware of why I was in a room full of other children and some toys, and, as usual in a unknown place with unfamiliar people, I was a bit anxious, and due to not knowing what to do for a while - I was quite bored actually. I think I was given some toys to play with but didn't tune it easily to the activity. I remember some adults trying to talk to met and suggesting me to play with other children but I wasn't at all interested and found both the unfamiliar adults and children a bit of a disturbance. So, in general, I was very quiet and didn't interact. Then I was shown some pictures and they asked me what I saw. The first picture was a dog and somehow I could identify the breed and instead of saying 'dog' or 'doggy', I precisely pronounced 'dobermann'. My mother later told that the staff was a bit surprised (in a negative way) and accused her of mentally disturbing me with her supposed obsession with dogs (which she didn't have in a slightest bit - we just had a book at home about dogs which I liked to browse).

P. S. As far as I know, I wasn't diagnosed with anything then. I still don't have any mental diagnosis. I am too afraid to go to a psychiatrist so I just spend time reading about different mental conditions. I've just registered to this forum so I could better understand Asperger's since I find it a possible answer to what's wrong with me.

I still don't get it (most of the time) when my own brother uses sarcasm, LOL. After one time too many, I laughed out to my two brothers that I should get an autism diagnosis going. They both looked at me and said, in the most deadpan tones and faces ever 'Yeah.'

I'm not sure if it sounds funny, but it's the kind of thing I use to poke fun at myself

I can identify with the poster who could identify the dog as the Doberman. I can do the same with cats. When I see a picture of a cat, I know exactly what breed it is.