Do you plan out conversations in your head?

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b9
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24 Jul 2010, 10:18 am

my tongue is the "brain" that dictates what i say.
i have no idea what i am going to say until i have said it.



DogDaySunrise
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24 Jul 2010, 10:34 am

Every time I come on here I find a post about something that I also do, that I've never been aware of having such strong ties to autism/AS lol.

+1!



zeldapsychology
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24 Jul 2010, 10:53 am

DogDaySunrise wrote:
Every time I come on here I find a post about something that I also do, that I've never been aware of having such strong ties to autism/AS lol.

+1!



Totally agree with this LOL! :-)



Slayer_1425
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25 Jul 2010, 1:27 pm

Occasionally. I might have a few conversation topics in my head - it's a good way to ensure you don't forget to bring them up in discussion.



Niall
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07 Mar 2011, 4:58 pm

Yes, I do this.

I also, apparently, talk under my breath to myself.

When I see someone doing this, I regard them as a bit odd, but essentially harmless. I suspect many NTs don't see it that way.

Next question, do you ever have people tell you that conversations you are nearly positive happened never actually occurred?

This seems to have been happening to me for a while. It's giving me a planet-sized existential headache!


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07 Mar 2011, 6:15 pm

Sefirato wrote:
I've always done this. Just can't be helped to stop it. There are a few times that whatever I have had planned in my head ends up getting done.

I would call this first a curse and secondly a blessing. It's a curse because it plagues your brain all the time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It's a blessing because having your brain work that way , just MAYBE I would be able to join/start a conversation with someone and stick with it for longer than five minutes, and especially longer if they haven't noticed my quirkness and that I am comfortable enough to continue the conversation. :lol:


I have conversations in my head all the time. Any type of communication with someone, I will have in my head before doing it. like this forum post.

I would call it a curse and a blessing also. Curse because sometimes the conversations will become obsessive. Especially if the conversation I will have could be stressful. But it is a blessing because it prepares me for what the conversation will turn out. Even though the actual conversation will be nothing like what I thought, I will have the answers ready in my head and can respond a lot faster than if I didn't think ahead

Niall wrote:
Yes, I do this.

I also, apparently, talk under my breath to myself.

When I see someone doing this, I regard them as a bit odd, but essentially harmless. I suspect many NTs don't see it that way.

Next question, do you ever have people tell you that conversations you are nearly positive happened never actually occurred?

This seems to have been happening to me for a while. It's giving me a planet-sized existential headache!


I can relate to the headaches, because I will be sure the conversation happened when everyone else said it didn't. I will get a headache from trying to sort it out.

More confusing to me because when I' m thinking of the conversation that will happen, the voices that come from my thinking will be just like the person I'm thinking about. If it is a stranger that I will be talking with, then the voices will have the same sound as my own. Even to complete the picture in my head about the conversation, I will have a visual picture of where we are going to meet. So sometimes the real conversation and the imaginary one in my head will seem the same when I try to recall it the actual conversation.

When someone does say to me that we didn't have the conversation, then I always act like they are right. I will then say to me "Let's have that conversation now.". A lot easier than obsessing over what was real and dealing with the headache later.

If the conversation is important that I will have, I will bring a notepad and take notes during the conversation. That I have something to remind me of what was actually said. Sometimes even waiting until the conversation is done, then summarize on a sheet of a paper what was said while it is fresh.



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07 Mar 2011, 10:54 pm

If it's a new situation I do, yes. Often if I need to have a sort of conversation I've never had before I'll carefully observe how someone else does it and then try to replicate it as exactly as possible. This probably comes across as "fake" at first but over time it gets more natural.

When I have to make a phone call to anyone other than a family member or very close friend I prepare notes beforehand. I hate talking on the phone because I can't tell when it's my turn to talk, and being nervous causes me to blank out, which just makes everything worse.

One of the things I do at my job is ring people up at the cash register. I have a literal "script" that I follow-- I say the same thing every single time! I developed my script by watching how coworkers did things and incorporating bits and pieces into my routine.

My inflection and tone of voice are "normal", so with careful scripting I can pass as NT pretty well, at least for limited periods of time. That's the primary reason I do it.

I notice that just about everybody seems to do it right before they go to sleep! Me too.



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07 Mar 2011, 11:14 pm

I only plan my first sentence, and only sometimes, when I have something serious or important to say. After that, it's completely pointless to plan anything.


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08 Mar 2011, 2:52 am

mikeseagle wrote:
Niall wrote:
Yes, I do this.

I also, apparently, talk under my breath to myself.

When I see someone doing this, I regard them as a bit odd, but essentially harmless. I suspect many NTs don't see it that way.

Next question, do you ever have people tell you that conversations you are nearly positive happened never actually occurred?

This seems to have been happening to me for a while. It's giving me a planet-sized existential headache!


I can relate to the headaches, because I will be sure the conversation happened when everyone else said it didn't. I will get a headache from trying to sort it out.



I'm having that problem, but my problem is worse. I suspect others may wrestle with this, unless it's just the two of us.

If some conversations I remember never happened, then how many other conversations I remember never happened?

Is it just conversations? I have a pretty rich life based on daydreams and so on. Much of this involves conversation, true, but not all of it.

Is it then possible that a lot of what I remember is faulty?

It's Descartes' devil spirit problem all over again, but this time the devil spirit is my head!


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08 Mar 2011, 2:53 am

Yes, I do this often.


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08 Mar 2011, 5:22 am

I don't really. I used to but now I just don't care. It's much more comfortable to be myself and speak my mind. I only plan a little bit for important phone calls when I need to talk about a few different things within a few minutes. I usually write a little note.



Yensid
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08 Mar 2011, 5:27 am

I do this all the time. It is a good thing, mostly. It means that I'm prepared with something to say. I just have to remember to cut off my preplanned script in real life, whenever the situation warrants. My psychiatrist actually encourages me to do this. It's a good way to get around the problems that I have with conversation.

The only problem is that I can obsess about getting a conversation exactly right. I have to remind myself to stop, and not try to get every detail correct. The real conversation won't go the way that I expected anyway.


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AshRoswell
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09 Mar 2011, 3:07 am

I do this constantly. When I was younger I honestly thought everyone did that. I still don't quite grasp that its odd in anyway. Is it odd?

*wanders off to the corner to think about it*



Ahaseurus2000
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09 Mar 2011, 3:14 am

...yes


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mikeseagle
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09 Mar 2011, 3:19 am

AshRoswell wrote:
I do this constantly. When I was younger I honestly thought everyone did that. I still don't quite grasp that its odd in anyway. Is it odd?

*wanders off to the corner to think about it*


Nothing odd about it in my thinking. What is odd is everyone else trying to make me think its odd :P



b9
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09 Mar 2011, 7:42 am

there is nowhere else that i can plan what to say except for inside my head. even though i have a place to plan what i say without interruption, i do not bother to plan what i say. it is too much work to plan what to say before the chore of saying it.
i just have a bucket of related words that i tip into my reply (like this reply), and i am always surprised (albeit ineffectually) if someone else seems to understand. even then i think "we see something in common, but you can not see what i will think of next.

i am severely autistic and i know that nt pretenders may take an interest in my lack of soul, but i will live my lifespan to entirity unlike many of the concerned people who feel that i am not expressing what they feel agreeable to.

they are pundits, and i am a life.