What motivates Self-Diagnosis?

Post Reply New Topic

I started researching AS when people kept making Rain Man jokes about me. Well, that and when people would (more commonly and less subtly) flat-out ask me if/tell me that I'm autistic. I mean, it's not like I just happened to hear about AS, research it, and draw the conclusion that I must have it because it sounds vaguely relatable. It seems like a lot of people suspected it long before I ever did.

Initially I was extremely loathsome of the label, especially as I gradually came to realize that I fit the description rather seamlessly. But over time it occurred to me that, without this "label," many of my behaviors simply don't make any sense and can't be justified. If I'm not autistic to some degree, then I'm just a freak who literally can't fit into any demographic, including ones as small as the AS crowd. The diagnosis legitimizes not only my behaviors, but my very existence. To be blunt, I've come to rely on this diagnosis as a comfort mechanism for maintaining my sanity. Whenever I make an ass out of myself in public or anything like that, I can reassure myself that it's okay and that I shouldn't be so hard on myself over it because I can't help my neurological makeup. (I mean, I'm still really hard on myself, just not as much, though my patience has been extremely thin lately.)

With the diagnosis, I'm not an idiot, or a "ret*d," or whatever. I'm just different. And though, as I said, it isn't helping as much lately as it used to, the diagnosis has generally helped me be okay with me. I used to ponder over my behavior incessantly, asking myself why I'm so weird, but now it's okay. And now I feel like I'm starting to repeat myself, so I'll stop.

For several years someone close to me was telling me that I had AS, I refused to accept the idea. I read one rather thin book on the subject and wrote the idea off as being wrong. However some time later I slipped up and did not behave quite like the NT I thought I was would.

The person close to me was very upset, I felt bad for messing up. So I then reconsidered the idea of me having AS but this time rather than dismissing the idea I considered in a serious manner. I took a couple of tests which suggested strongly that I have AS, then I found out more about the condition and found that I am a close match to the classic profile for AS.

So in some way I never went looking for a self-DX, it found me.

I am very wary of anyone who claims that one form of autism is better than another. It is like saying that hay fever is better than an allergy to cat fur. I feel that the neurobigot who claims that people who are not NT are messed up / defective / immoral / etc etc is quite rightly reviled here, but we need to be careful of the neurobigot with AS. The AS neurobigot either hates NTs or people with a different DX state to their own.

The problem is that for adults in many parts of the world it is hard to get a DX, so many adult aspies here have only got a self-DX. Part of the problem is that many of us are older than the scientific paper by Wing in which she rediscovered AS, while people are born with AS and have had it all their lives the age difference between Wing’s paper and them can create some difficulties. There are many people who have slipped through the net as a result here on WP, I think that we have an age range from children to retired people here. One of the good things about the wrong planet is that we have a very large cross section of different types of people of different ages.

I am very wary of the person with the self-DX who then tries to get society to make an allowance for them or get some special treatment. Even if they are not trying to gain an unfair advantage in life there is a grave danger that they will mess things up for those who have got an official DX.

I self-diagnosed because the description matches me, every symptom, though some aren't as bad as others. Even if I don't have it I have the same symptoms as those who do so I fit in here well.

If you aren't diagnosed how can you use it as a cop out? That doesn't make sense. Without a diagnosis you can't use it "as an excuse".

I'm self diagnosed and have had a difficult time convincing my wife I'm an Aspie. She's a bright girl with a heap of social skills and charm. But over time I've come to believe she's really not very concerned with understanding others or what makes them tic. I suppose that's fairly NT typical though?

As for why I've made a mission of diagnosing myself with Asperger's, the answer is pretty simple. Belonging and understanding. For one the beast is a lot easier to fight when it has a name. I've walked all these years knowing I was atypical. Yet the best answer was this and that, if not simply somewhat deranged. Second, we all tend to be a bit cheeky about NT social behaviour. But I sometimes forget that I'm human first, Aspie second. And that I have an innate, if muffled, desire to be part of a group. And from all I've seen, you guys and gals are definitely my kind of people.

as most aspies are loners, i seriously doubt anyone is motivated by a sense of community, more a better understanding of themselves. who knows.

I can think of at least one good argument for skipping the self-DX thing and getting a professional diagnosis (if you have the means to do so):



family issues also have confused things for me. i would hate to have recontextualized virtually every difficulty i've ever had, only to discover i had misunderstood AGAIN and had to start all over.

of course, that is probably an unusual situation and if there is little confusion about what might be causing your problems, maybe it doesn't matter one way or the other. what matters is that you accept yourself for who you are.

off topic: anyone else unable to concentrate on posts near Avarice because his avatar pulses when in your peripheral vision? i can't be the only one ...

Note: I diagnosed myself as being a cat over 10 years ago, as anyone who knows me will confirm, when asked why I did/do certain things, I quip "eh, I'm a cat" for explanation.

As for AS, well...

I was reading a book I've read a few times (Manifold: Time, Stephen Baxter), and for some reason a remark by one of the characters about another character stood out.

"Michael exhibits (a certain number, I think he said 6) of the signs of Asperger's Syndrome, I should know, I recognize 5 in myself."

I started wondering why the two characters that made the most sense to me, were both linked by that term I'd never heard, so I started reading about it, pulled up the DSM-IV checklist, began considering my behaviors through my childhood, the obvious distance I felt from the rest of what was supposed to be my species...

Pondered for most of a week, read more about it, found this site, took some tests, and it's pretty obvious at this point, I'm an Aspie, or I'm a cat.


In my case, it explains more than the alternative does.


In cases I've learned about since then, as I was accused of upon telling some people about this, it is to use as an excuse, or to claim savant traits, like it's something you can just write on an RPG character sheet. Take Asperger's defect, gain a few character points to spend on traits.