Do You Get Scared When People Wanna Be Friends w/You?
What's a "psychic trashcan"?
And if she's using you, then I recommend that you gradually drift apart from her. Don't answer all of her phone calls, SMSes or emails, and don't phone her out of goodness. You have a right to quit being friends with people who treat you like crap.
Many NTs are wired to treat others like crap when the other person doesn't set "boundaries". They judge whether the other person is being tough/rough/assertive from the first time they meet them...
daydreamer84
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Joined: 8 Jul 2009
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,001
Location: My own little world
I get scared when anyone from school ostensibly wants to get to know me outside of class. A lot of my classmates have pretended to be my friends just to get lecture notes from me or copy my assignments over the years. I no longer trust anyone from school who tries to engage me in friendly conversation.
I have had people try to take advantage of me under the guise of pretending to be my friends outside of school as well. One girl that I used to work with had BPD and was very impulsive and she would spend her entire pay check the day that she got paid. She would try and guilt me into lending her money every week, saying that she would not be able to pay her bills etc.
I think I am an easy target for users because I am very naive. People pick up on the fact that I am socially inept and figure they can use it to take advantage of me.......they can spot me a mile away!
You have to test people's trustworthy-ness when lending money.
I would lend them money up to 3 times, and if they don't pay you back, then don't lend them anymore.
Ask them "Why haven't you paid me back the money I lent you last time?"
And you could say "I'm not lending you any more money until you paid me what I lent you last time."
If they genuinely care about you, they won't take offense.
And if she's using you, then I recommend that you gradually drift apart from her. Don't answer all of her phone calls, SMSes or emails, and don't phone her out of goodness. You have a right to quit being friends with people who treat you like crap.
Many NTs are wired to treat others like crap when the other person doesn't set "boundaries". They judge whether the other person is being tough/rough/assertive from the first time they meet them...
Sorry. Sometimes I use strange expressions! What I mean is she dumps all her problems on me and acts like she needs me to help her but then isn't there when I need her. She knows I am the kind of person who is attracted to people who have trouble and she sure used that.
Oh, we have already drifted. Basically we are only acquaintances now, but we have mutual friends so I can't break total contact.
Wow, the boundaries thing makes sense. I don't set those at all. I just wait for THEM to.
Depends on the context. I don't mind if they're not loud when trying to "open me up."
I've had people in the past (mostly women) try to "open me up" by being loud, asking me (not personal, but probing) questions, etc. Usually just annoys me and closes me up more (mostly because it plays on the old idea that an introverted person can be "converted" into an extroverted one.) These people meant no malice (and most of them are good friends now, although I befriended them several months after they started to leave me alone.) It's probably because I came across as unapproachable and aloof (which I do, not deliberately.)
Yes, i am afraid. Afraid because of those questions, you know them for sure.
Why you dont go to night clubs and discos ?
Why you dont have a girlfriend ?
Why you dont spend vacations at sea ?
Why you dont drive ?
Those are only some of them ...
I can lie at any of those issues but its only temporary solution since they will notice sooner or later.
When they notice if i say somethin about asperger's they will think that I am just another nerd tallking rubbish.
Fellow students at university "love" me since I got lot of information they invite me from time to time to some caffe so they can hear info about which professor asks what, what he likes to hear and so on.
I am involved in a group doing some campaigns, they also call me often but because they need me not because they like my company.
Thats all when it comes to friends.
Its getting worse with family also I am getting more and more criticised for being nerd.
I live in a third world country so telling anyone about asperger's would also get me in a bad position, they would just think its some b*****t made up by Americans to rule the world or something like that.
People here are just like Borat.
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