Does death make you cry?

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Death sends me into an emotionless state where I essentially become robotic. I don't feel sad or anguished at death. Instead, I become confused... I try to comfort the people around me without really even knowing how. If there is no one around who needs me to console them, then I brush it off as though nothing happened.

I think I was the only one who didn't make some dramatic outburst at my Grandma's funeral either (save for the smaller children). I believe this was part of the reason why my nasty uncle decided to make me a pall-bearer last minute. They stuck me on the end, and I'm a small guy, so I almost dropped it twice... Man, that really got my uncle pissed.

I understand why people react the way they do-- albeit in a more childish sense, I think... I see the tears and wailing like they're selfishly trying to drag the person back... I'd much rather have a huge party and celebrate the departed's time on this planet.

Depends on whose death.

And now you're calling variables into play. I'll give an example.

There was a bully who was a thorn in my side during my high school years. He was killed in a car crash, drunk at the wheel.

At school the following day, the PA system announced his death, and then announced that we would stand for a moment in silence. Where was I at the time? I was in the cafeteria, harassing a vending machine for extra munchies.

People were pissed off at me for the disrespect, of course. But would he have stood around for me? Maybe, but only because the big scary voice told him to.

It makes me laugh. The most prominent memory of this for me is when they announced those little kids had been killed at the Amish schoolhouse back in like... 2006? I laughed and my mom looked at me, horrified.

I'm glad it's not just me. My grandmother just died last week and upon attending her wake yesterday, I was surprised to find myself bawling. Usually I handle death pretty coldly which is why I don't go to funerals. I think it was probably because I haven't really had anyone super close to me die before. I've had a dog die, but I didn't really feel much. However, I've known my grandmother most of my life (I'm 28). And during her funeral, whenever I start tearing up, I've noticed it's not necessarily because I don't want her to die, but rather because she had high hopes for me and I feel like I've failed her. I didn't graduate college, I live w/ my parents, can't get above minimum wage, and have never had a significant other to introduce to her.

I was still crying about the Pete Quaife thing, that other time of the month, unrelated to my cycle. That other time of the month is between the 23rd and the 27th. Usually on the 25th.

What really gets me when someone passes away is actually the idea or manner of how it happened; maybe not QUITE as much my relationship to them (though this is by no means trivial! A nuclear family member would be devastating). I have had aged or suffering relatives go in peace and not cried at all, but when a cat of mine..was under the hood of a car when it started..I just broke down. I never saw anything, but it just got to me; the horror of it. I remember showering that night and just bawling as the water washed over me.

I also had a lot of trouble with learning about the Holocaust in school; I lost so much sleep and actually went to a counselor. She thought that I was afraid of something like that happening again...NOT the case at all!! ! It was just the mental images that distressed me; the idea that people suffered like that and the specifics, even though it was so long ago and far away.

aspie moment: i read the title and thought "what? as in, are you so afraid of dying it makes you cry?" then i got it...shows how detached i am from the thought of other people dying...

*check*
I did the exact same thing.

Depends.

I'm more likely to cry at the passing of a pet or animal. I was really devastated when my dog died a few years ago and I couldn't look at her portrait for some time without wanting to start bawling. I haven't yet attended a funeral where I've cried before, though in my defense I haven't been exceptionally close to the people who have died. I was too young to really know my grandfather, for one thing. Or maybe that's just the excuse I use.

I've gotten upset at myself simply because I don't cry, though. There have been times when I feel I should be crying and am not. And also, there are times when I shouldn't be crying, and I am. Like when I get really sick and I'm in pain. I'll sometimes start crying if I'm exceptionally tired too. It's very frustrating to deal with.

I am the same way. My uncle passed away from leukemia about 3 years ago, my grandmother about 2 years ago, and my other uncle from a stroke last year. I tried to shed a tear for them. I only cried (a couple tears, but no outright crying) seeing my uncles on their deathbeds (one on so many painkillers he was barely awake and so thin from chemo and limbs swollen from staph infection or something, and the other braindead and on life support while everyone said their goodbyes before his organs were harvested) But once they had passed, I could not cry. I cried as a child at the funerals of my grandparents and such. Not sure why I have changed. My mother had to have emergency abdominal surgery last summer and was in the hospital for well over a month. Her life could have possibly been in danger, too. I was concerned, yes, but I was never sad or scared in the same was other people would. I feel horrible and like I am a terrible person for not feeling things like that. But I was SO upset when my cats died. Life with them was all I ever knew because they were 3 when I was born. I still cry sometimes when I think about that. Why should I cry over cats but not blood family? I feel so bad about it.

Since my dad died, yes. Any death can make me sad, even tearful.

But before that I think I was the opposite. I needed someone close to me to die for me to care about it so deeply.

The grieving process takes awhile to start but when it hits boy does it ever hit and it takes about 6months - a year to move on.

Years ago, after I had learned that my Dad was terminally ill, I can honestly say it was one of the worst times of my life. I would often break into tears at the sense of his impending loss. With my Mom, who had had several close calls due to poor health, I had experienced several scares, followed by a sense of relief each time she pulled through. Then recently, when she didn't pull through, I suddenly found myself feeling almost nothing. Oh, I had felt a twinge of grief, but nothing else. When people had approached me with their condolences, I was afraid and ashamed to tell them that I felt nothing. I can only imagine how they would view me. So far, I've only opened up to my wife, and my brother and sister Aspies here on WP about my feelings, or lack there of. I know I should feel grief for her loss, but I just can't feel any.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer