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"I love you"

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Spazzergasm
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13 Aug 2010, 1:02 pm

Way too intimate.



Kelpie
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13 Aug 2010, 1:17 pm

Love and hate are considered strong words. I use the first one wisely, and the second one when I'm fussy. Never really mean to hate someone unless they have intentions to cause harm to me or the people I care about.


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luvmyaspie
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14 Aug 2010, 2:53 am

You're very welcome PHISHA51 :D


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astaut
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14 Aug 2010, 3:16 am

It makes me extremely uncomfortable when people get serious about it. My best friend bugs me SO much because she wants me to tell her I love her, tell her she's pretty, hug her, etc etc. And it just makes me feel like I'm insane. I do say it in non-serious situations but I don't want to when someone says to tell them I love them :? And I've had someone tell me (in a relationship I mean) where I just changed the subject or didn't answer. That's happened more than once, actually.

Like hale_bopp, I have zero trouble saying it to pets. I say it to my family but only when they say it first.


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28 Oct 2010, 8:42 pm

Same here.

My response is generally "thank you."

Now, I've really only heard it from family. Perhaps I would like it if it were a lady I liked.



Maolcolm
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28 Oct 2010, 8:50 pm

Spazzergasm wrote:
Saying this, or having it said to me, always carries a certain discomfort for me. Do you guys feel the same way?


Yes this makes me extremely uncomfortable also.

One reason - but by no means the only one - is that I find the term meaningless. It's just a sound. It has been so abused and has so many possible degrees that it's worthless, IMO.



kat_ross
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28 Oct 2010, 9:16 pm

the only two people i have ever felt love for were a good friend/almost boyfriend that i had in high school, and a guy i worked with at a summer job one year (yes, they were both guys but no it wasn't a lust thing! i never even went out with either of them). they were both friendly, they made me feel comfortable to be who i am, with all of my craziness, and it was amazing to have someone that enjoyed being around me and talking to me. i have never felt that way with any member of my family, or any of my other friends. however, whenever family members tell me that they love me, i say "i love you too." i only do this because it is expected of me and people would get seriously offended if i didn't do it. i would rather be honest and admit that it's not an emotion i feel, but i hold my tongue because i know that it would only cause trouble.



memyselfI
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29 Oct 2010, 2:09 am

lostD wrote:
I can't really tell my feelings to other people especially since I need to analyze them before actually understand how they work and what they mean, thus I almost never say I love someone. When I do, it doesn't feel right, it's strange, perhaps that's because words can't really tell the complexity of feelings and emotions.
Most people lie about their feelings, I can never tell if their declarations are genuine or not, I think the bond one create with others are mostly made of lies and illusion thus I try to be sincere with them and either don't tell them anything about the lack of reciprocity (though I suspect most of them don't care about me the way they claim they do) or to be sincere.
When I love someone, be it a friend or a family member, I tend to tell it to someone else because it feels less wrong and I'm no longer afraid of the liar I might be facing.

Just like hale_bopp, I have no troubles saying it to my cat though. But people think that I act like someone who's been educated by cats so...


"I love you" is an important sentence. It has a strong emotional meaning and I don't like that many people lie when using it. It also fails at saying what is truly inside people's mind, they're just three little words that don't explain anything about the nature of the feelings and their origins. Language fails at describing emotions and covers many different feelings with the same word, which is also why it looses its value. It's just like the word "friend" which is being used by everyone to talk about someone they barely know (and it's a word I also only uses when I'm sure I feel that someone is truly my friend thought I don't know if they reciprocate the feelings because of the way people uses words).

I guess the false declaration may make people who truly mean what they say uncomfortable with some words. I don't really know why I feel that way or why other people feel that way, I've never been good at telling my feelings, but being betrayed by liars definitely makes it worse.


I identify most with this post.
Feelings seem way too complicated to be limited to this one 'shining' emotion.
There always seems to be lots of other stuff in the way.

The closest I've felt to saying it to a partner, I've hesitated, because it seems a very selfish emotion - I love you (because you make me feel good) or I love you (because you have done something nice for me).

Someone used it recently to me. I'd like to shine a light into their eyes and question them on it, especially in respect of their actions.

I also struggle with the label friend and use it reluctantly in conversation to explain my links with people, even if I really am not sure that it covers the situation adequately.



auntblabby
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29 Oct 2010, 2:18 am

"it's a sin to tell a lie"

in the song above, the writer was challenged to write a ditty that repeated the phrase "i love you" as many times as possible in a song.
so when people cavalierly bandy about this precious [in multiple senses] 3-word phrase they are playing with fire, as in "hands on fire."



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29 Oct 2010, 7:35 am

I hate saying i love you.

My friends used to say it and i would just moan but they'd get mad at me. So I started saying ditto which they deemed sounded fake to them. I later just started saying i like you in Japanese and said it's pretty much close to i love you.

I only say I love you to my family.

Now I have 1 friend who says it all the time. When she calls if she doesn't know what to say she'll say "hey!" and i'll say what and then she'll go "I love you." and she'll do that several times. It's just weird. She says I love you when we first pick up the phone to talk, she says i love you during the conversation and then at the end.