Verdandi wrote:
These are things I would prefer to think, but it doesn't do much to stop the depression. I can't just make it go away because I am sometimes I am glad that I was born and glad to be alive. What I mean is that someone who does think about suicide isn't doing so because of some failure to have the right attitude or whatever, but because they're mentally ill.
Also, I want to be clear that I am not trying to justify suicidal thinking. I much prefer to do the opposite. However, I also want it to be understood as something other than how one chooses to look at the world or how one chooses to think.
I tend to think of myself as having brief lapses of contentment and peace in an otherwise depressed state. I prefer to think happy thoughts too, and I do, but it doesn't change how I feel one jot or tittle.
Personally, I don't understand-and am finding it increasingly difficult to tolerate-people who say, "Just snap out of it." Or, "Think happy thoughts and your feeling will follow." and "Don't be so negative." and especially, "You feel that way because you choose to." Especially when it's coming from people who once suffered from depression and have overcome theirs somehow. I think people like that just say those things because when you display your depression in some form, it tells them all isn't
wholly right with the world when people suffer from such a debilitating illness. It's not so much that they care how you feel as it is that they just don't want to think about it or see it, so they try to make it go away.
_________________
"I am the son, and the heir, of nothing in particular" -The Smiths