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Does anyone else love going out every weekend?

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swbluto
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11 Apr 2011, 12:40 am

daydreamer84 wrote:
Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:
swbluto wrote:
Exhumed wrote:
I want the affection and reciprocated desire from a woman, and I consider losing my v card to be a significant social milestone. It's taken me years to learn the proper social behaviors for attracting and romancing a woman.

I've seen patterns like that since I was a young child. I've tried Salvia once....it was terrifying. Aside from that I've only smoked weed.

What's the probability that I'm just a "gifted" NT with so many detriments, many of which are related to Asperger's? :roll: I doubt it's much higher than the probability that I'm an Aspie with a couple "highly gifted NT" gifts. Why can I relate to every post I've read here? My mind clearly works in much the same way, so what difference does it make? Do you really think I'm closer to being an NT than an Aspie? Doubtful!

And "gifted"! What a stupid label! "Oh, it's not Asperger's, he's just gifted. Yes, he thinks like an Aspie and has many of the same behaviors, including the negative ones, but he's perfectly normal."

Most if not all of the Dabrowski's characteristics I exhibit can be present in Asperger's. Not all Aspies are creative, but many are. Two or three other Aspies here enjoy going to clubs and parties because like myself, they've found workarounds and ways to cope with social anxiety. Some Aspies get intense sensory overload, others get none; I get comparatively very little. There was another Aspie at my school who still hasn't achieved any level of normality, and he talked by quickly rambling or struggling to get the words out, and he loved debating and proving people wrong. "That's a cool bug!" "ACTUALLY it's an insect...(rambling)" There's not a chance he was just gifted!

With therapy or practice, anyone can strengthen the connections between parts of the brain that were weakened at birth. Maybe not entirely; I can't recognize or understand many social behaviors, but if I can identify one, with enough practice it basically becomes instinctive.

There's nothing anyone claiming to have Asperger's has mentioned that I cannot relate to, so if I'm an NT...well, I can relate to more than just being bullied or enjoying computers!


Dude, I can just "tell", okay? I'm undoubtedly neurotypical and I've hung around these parts long enough to confidently state that the "It takes one to know one" rule works in this particular case. I mean, I can tell you intrinsically possess emotional excitability and sensitivity just from the fact you're using exclamation points to make excited statements and sarcastic comments (And I can "sense" the emotional undercurrents behind what you're writing; if one were to graph emotional intensity on a graph with the x-axis representing time, I'd say your emotional amplitude is far more typical of NTs than aspies.). That's just far more typical (and far more likely to come from) of aspie-like nerdy NTs than highly intelligent aspies-who-really-aren't-that-aspie.

(Of course, if aspie-ness is a spectrum, than "very mild aspergers" would probably be functionally equivalent to "aspie-like nerdiness", so your assertion of your "aspie-ness" is probably just the same as my assertion of being an 'aspie-like' NT.)


You're probably picking up on something, but I'm not sure it is what you think it is. I can think of "excitable" autistics, the first one to come to mind being non-verbal (if that's "autistic enough"), who almost uses more exclamation points than other characters in her writing. And the Mozart-and-the-Whale guy years ago seemed to fly off the handle and flame people all the time (online, anyway; I've heard that IRL he's a good guy). I'm assuming they checked his "credentials" pretty well before making a movie about his life that mentions that he's on the spectrum.

This "all ASD == just like Spock" thing seems popular, but I don't think that it's correct.


I am very expressive..........only my expressions are awkward in real life but on the internet they are not! Just because someone is expressive ( especially on the internet where facial expression, voice tone etc. do not come into play) is not a reason to think they aren't an aspie.


That's true for AS females but not as true for AS males.

But, regardless, assuming that critique fails, the later one still stands unchallenged.



Exhumed
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11 Apr 2011, 12:42 am

merrymadscientist wrote:
- Trying to appear to be similar to the target group/person. I understand why now - so that she could manipulate me more easily to do the things she wanted me to do.
I'm not trying to appear to be similar, nor do I try to act like people in order to manipulate them. I do kind of want to believe I have AS. It's human nature. If you buy a PS3, you might convince yourself that you hate Xbox. But since I'm aware of this phenomenon, I'm trying to be open to contradictory opinions. NPD seems a little off in describing me.

-By saying he has managed to overcome his AS, the OP is effectively giving the suggestion that those of us that cannot do this are just not trying hard enough.
No, it seems like some people just have varying levels of it, and some people find learning to cope with it easier than others. I used to be ashamed of my social skills; I'm sorry if I now come off as arrogant.

- Always wanting to talk about oneself. The OP has admitted this one. My friend was constantly doing this and complaining about other people all the time.
I like conversing with others and learning about their lives if it's interesting. I prefer having intellectual conversation to talking about myself, but I do like talking about myself. Yes, I suppose I'm narcissistic in some ways. I had to become sort of narcissistic to protect my self esteem. My parents were always preoccupied with my little brother's brain tumor so I never got any attention. It's more likely a result of that in my opinion.

- And related to that, not really caring about other people, although can appear to be if required. Again the OP has said that he doesn't really care about what other people are saying or feeling. This is more sociopathic than Aspie - we generally care but either don't notice, or if we do notice we don't know how to express empathy.
It's hard to describe...I care from a "conscience" perspective, I do care about my friends, but I'm not actually saddened by hearing about someone's troubles.

- Always wanting to meet new people for more stimulation. Also to make new friends as they tend to get bored of people after a while, or end up losing friends who realise they are being manipulated.
I don't tend to get bored of my friends after a while...

- Lying in order to manipulate people. This sort of covers many of the points above (e.g. lying that they are similar to you, or lying that they care about you). Don't think Aspies can do this particularly well and are often morally extremely opposed to it.
My friends say I'm a terrible liar, but I feel like I manipulate people socially without trying to. I became obsessed with becoming socially normal so I have a large mental database of social rules. When I know exactly what response I want to elicit from a person, it's hard not to feel like I'm manipulating him/her. I can't manipulate people in elaborate ways.

I think you got the wrong idea in some areas, but I can see your logic. I'm pretty sure based on your description that I don't simply have NPD though. My narcissistic qualities are more likely attributable to my family life and upbringing.




Responses are in bold^^^

XFilesGeek: Sensory seeking rather than sensory defensive? Sounds like me. Is it that black and white? Some sensations are pleasing and others are annoying. I hated loud music and crowds as a kid but I later grew to enjoy them.

Suomalainen: True and true. Although common, they're still obsessive hobbies for me; not necessarily a symptom of AS of course.

Honestly, it's hard to diagnose someone over the internet. An in-person evaluation may not be reliable either since I've learned so many social rules. Some of my life experiences are atypical for someone with Asperger's, but not unheard of. Is there a concrete way to find out for sure? Dabrowski's excitabilities doesn't describe me as closely as AS, and NPD barely describes me at all...it might seem to, but all you have to go off of is my writing.



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11 Apr 2011, 1:02 am

I wasn't doubting Exhumed, I was curious that the initial post only mentioned a speculation of AS while the profile said Diagnosed. And Exhumed himself apparently was not told until mid-way through this thread that he was in fact diagnosed in the fifth grade.

I'd say that any further speculation should fall under the class of "trying to dispute one's diagnosis," which is frowned upon here.

Exhumed was diagnosed with it, and identifies with it. He may be weirdly social and neophiliac compared to the norm, but that's to be expected in anything which is conforms to Gaussian distribution.


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11 Apr 2011, 1:05 am

swbluto wrote:
That's true for AS females but not as true for AS males.

But, regardless, assuming that critique fails, the later one still stands unchallenged.


If I were to make a huge over-generalization, I'd say that guys can be emotional, but that it tends to "flare up" and show the most obviously when the emotion is anger.



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11 Apr 2011, 1:19 am

Right, and I wasn't always neophiliac; for most of my life I was quite the opposite. I can identify perfectly with most of you. I never thought I'd have jocks as friendly acquaintances or enjoy confronting my fears, but people can change, and I certainly did. So many variables go into what makes a person who he/she is. I spent my whole life ignoring my diagnosis and trying to fit in; had I known about it I may have never tried to quite as much. I desperately wanted to fit in; that's the only thing I wanted to change. Maybe somewhere along the way I started to appreciate change. I don't think that's impossible for an Aspie to do.

Is there any way to be 100% sure I have Asperger's?



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11 Apr 2011, 1:23 am

My ex was very emotional and he cried a lot and was very sensitive. I hurt his feelings a lot and it was unintentional. My honesty/bluntness got in the way or maybe he was just too sensitive. :?



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11 Apr 2011, 1:24 am

Exhumed wrote:
Right, and I wasn't always neophiliac; for most of my life I was quite the opposite. I can identify perfectly with most of you. I never thought I'd have jocks as friendly acquaintances or enjoy confronting my fears, but people can change, and I certainly did. So many variables go into what makes a person who he/she is. I spent my whole life ignoring my diagnosis and trying to fit in; had I known about it I may have never tried to quite as much. I desperately wanted to fit in; that's the only thing I wanted to change. Maybe somewhere along the way I started to appreciate change. I don't think that's impossible for an Aspie to do.

Is there any way to be 100% sure I have Asperger's?



Getting re tested?



swbluto
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11 Apr 2011, 1:27 am

Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:
swbluto wrote:
That's true for AS females but not as true for AS males.

But, regardless, assuming that critique fails, the later one still stands unchallenged.


If I were to make a huge over-generalization, I'd say that guys can be emotional, but that it tends to "flare up" and show the most obviously when the emotion is anger.


Absolutely! Among AS males, the most reliable range of emotions that show up are the negative ones!

Those aren't necessarily the type of emotions from all the emotional subtexts that I inferred from his post, though. But, I'm not going to get into a detailed analysis to demonstrate that.

Anyway, I'm curious what the OP would get if he were to be rediagnosed by 3 different psychologists. Just going on the opinion of one psychologist when your differences with your 5th grade peers probably went far beyond "true asperger symptoms"(Judging from your verbal productivity and complexity in understanding) seems like it could be unreliable. I'm not "disputing ones diagnosis", I'm just saying there's a possibility for error there and there's an understandable cause for that error.



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11 Apr 2011, 1:39 am

I plan to, but like I said, the psychologist might base my diagnosis partially on how well I interact and use body language. It would be hard for him/her to judge based on that since I've suppressed so many external symptoms through years of being told I was rude or weird by my parents, teachers, and bullies. The psychologist isn't going to take me to a strip club to see how I respond to unfamiliar social situations, and the unfamiliarity is what reveals the awkwardness.

I'm not saying he'll knowingly judge me on it, and maybe he could still tell from the way I walk and talk, but all people subconsciously judge people based on body language to some extent, and I've progressed to the point where I look a little off, but not noticeably weird.