Would you socialise with LF autistic people?

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MathGirl
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06 May 2011, 5:20 pm

Callista wrote:
Yeah. It's pretty easy to figure out what somebody with a physical disability needs, usually; like, you know, ramps and elevators and things. But cognitive just isn't so intuitive for many people. Making public places into places where everybody could go would be difficult because of just how diverse people are.

Flexibility seems to be the key--rather than specifically changing things by trying to predict what people will need, it would be better to create things in ways that can be easily changed when needed. Of course it's more efficient to pre-prepare things that will be needed by lots of people; but you can't plan for everyone and everything, except by being flexible.
And lack of flexibility, ironically, is one of the hallmarks of autism...


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06 May 2011, 6:04 pm

I went to a meeting once that had people lower down the scale than me, and I'll never do it again, because it turns out that if I'm with lower functioning types, I regress. It's like some disjointed part of my brain gets activated and the rest shuts off. It takes hours to get back to my old self.
Does this happen with anyone else?


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MathGirl
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06 May 2011, 6:09 pm

Anie wrote:
I went to a meeting once that had people lower down the scale than me, and I'll never do it again, because it turns out that if I'm with lower functioning types, I regress. It's like some disjointed part of my brain gets activated and the rest shuts off. It takes hours to get back to my old self.
Does this happen with anyone else?
Nope, not really. Probably because I never had a different way of being in first place.


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06 May 2011, 8:23 pm

John_Browning wrote:
When people here and on other AS/HFA forums say "low functioning", they usually end up describing people in the middle of the spectrum. Truly low functioning people typically don't know how or don't care to interact with others unless it is to get a basic need met, and sometimes they can't even do that and you have to guess what they need. However, if they wanted to socialize, I would be cool doing that with them.


I agree. I think sometimes people don't fully realize just exactly how low the spectrum can get. I consider my son to be pretty low functioning. He has no speech, just vocalizations, his favorite being "Eeeeeee..." and he's got a buffet of stims to choose from. But I know that even he isn't as low as the spectrum goes. As far as "socializing" with him, good luck with that. When I want to play with him, sometimes I have to stim in order to get his attention.



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06 May 2011, 8:38 pm

Bauhauswife wrote:
John_Browning wrote:
When people here and on other AS/HFA forums say "low functioning", they usually end up describing people in the middle of the spectrum. Truly low functioning people typically don't know how or don't care to interact with others unless it is to get a basic need met, and sometimes they can't even do that and you have to guess what they need. However, if they wanted to socialize, I would be cool doing that with them.


I agree. I think sometimes people don't fully realize just exactly how low the spectrum can get. I consider my son to be pretty low functioning. He has no speech, just vocalizations, his favorite being "Eeeeeee..." and he's got a buffet of stims to choose from. But I know that even he isn't as low as the spectrum goes. As far as "socializing" with him, good luck with that. When I want to play with him, sometimes I have to stim in order to get his attention.


Some friends of mine I knew several years ago had a non-verbal autistic child who for some reason was interested in me almost immediately. He'd run up to me and show me things, which he simply did not do otherwise. There was no touching or anything else, but he actually got along with me better than just about everyone else he'd ever met.

I can't really say where he was as far as functioning goes other than classified as "low functioning" and non-verbal, but there was definitely interaction.



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06 May 2011, 9:19 pm

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There have been two times when the people responsible for them did a quick look around in the bank to make sure they got all their people loaded in the van and someone in line with me would say to them this one still has to see the cashier. The one they were talking about was me each time. I guess I come off as belonging to the group home people. 8O :oops:



I'm getting my master's in Special Education which requires that I volunteer for a number of hours in classrooms for kids with special needs.

One time, a teacher from another classroom came to visit the one I was in and she didn't notice me at first because she thought I was one of the students. Keep in mind this was a class in which the kids were obviously mentally disabled and needed constant help with self care.

My former coworkers thought I was "slow" to the point where they treated me like I was three years old. This was in spite of the fact I had gotten a college degree and was currently working on a Master's.

I don't think labels of "high" or "low" functioning matter that much in the real world. To many NTs, we are just a bunch of mentally disabled people regardless of functioning and trying to enforce a social hierarchy in which AS means "better" than "those other people" is ridiculous.


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Last edited by nirrti_rachelle on 06 May 2011, 9:23 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Bauhauswife
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06 May 2011, 9:21 pm

They are mysterious little monkeys. My son for some reason took a huge liking to his uncle this past Thanksgiving, whereas before he never really paid much attention to his uncle at all. There are times when he runs to me with hugs, and other times when he doesn't even seem to know I'm in the room, even if I call his name.
I try to see those moments of cognition as a possibility for things to turn around for him. If there's a spark, maybe one day there will be a flame.



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06 May 2011, 9:26 pm

I have trouble socializing with anyone. If I feel comfortable around an NT, then I would socialize. If I feel comfortable around an LF ASD, then I would socialize. The thing is, I usually need the other person to give more to the communication of a relationship. If the other person cannot do that, then the relationship does not last. That does not mean I won't socialize with a specific group of people. I try to base all people as individuals and not with a group label. I've heard somewhere, "if you met one person with autism, then you've met one person with autism." Not all LF people are the same, just as all HF people are different as well.



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07 May 2011, 4:15 am

wavefreak58 wrote:
I have no problem with lower-functioning autistic people and I understand that some people may be better/worse than me in different ways, but as I was there hoping to socialise with other HF autistic people I decided this group was not for me. Or to be more precise; I left feeling upset and embarrassed, but vowed to go to the next public meeting to check them out before ruling the group out completely. .


I'm the same. But situational factors do have to be accounted for.

I was in the playground with my daughter and a 12yr old boy took over the swing and wouldn't get off. He seemed a bit slow in his movements and a few other kids gathered round waiting for him to finish. Then without warning he began licking the ropes of the swing and caused the other parents to be repulsed. They gathered their kids and walked off.

I asked my daughter to wait as I talked to the boy and asked him if he could give my daughter a turn on the swing. Then without warning two teenagers appeared and blasted me verbally for interfering with their brother. I explained to them that I was only talking to him. One of the teens said he was autistic and I should be more considerate. I was left stunned, I only was trying to interact with the boy.

It occurred to me that family of LFA children maybe highly sensitive to what other people's views are. Engaging with LFA children or even adults needs to be in accordance with their families expressed permission.



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07 May 2011, 5:38 am

Bauhauswife wrote:
They are mysterious little monkeys. My son for some reason took a huge liking to his uncle this past Thanksgiving, whereas before he never really paid much attention to his uncle at all. There are times when he runs to me with hugs, and other times when he doesn't even seem to know I'm in the room, even if I call his name.
I try to see those moments of cognition as a possibility for things to turn around for him. If there's a spark, maybe one day there will be a flame.


I would say that I never saw a lack of cognition in this particular child, but I am not sure others saw him the same way. When your son doesn't seem to notice you, it could be any number of things, like sensory issues, focused on something else, or a shutdown, or some other thing. I know a trait that I think is common in autism and ADHD both is to get so absorbed in something as to not notice other people trying to get your attention. I mean, I still get like this occasionally and I'm 41.

Something I came across on the forum when I first started reading here was interesting to me, though. People talked about being able to read some or a few other autistic people's body language and vice versa. I don't know enough information to say. But it was an interesting thought.

I don't know, I guess what I'm suggesting is that there may very well be more cognition than may be visible. Here's hoping your interventions get good results. :)

Er, and I don't mean to minimize anything. I apologize if I came across that way.



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07 May 2011, 6:55 am

Verdandi wrote:
Bauhauswife wrote:
They are mysterious little monkeys. My son for some reason took a huge liking to his uncle this past Thanksgiving, whereas before he never really paid much attention to his uncle at all. There are times when he runs to me with hugs, and other times when he doesn't even seem to know I'm in the room, even if I call his name.
I try to see those moments of cognition as a possibility for things to turn around for him. If there's a spark, maybe one day there will be a flame.


I would say that I never saw a lack of cognition in this particular child, but I am not sure others saw him the same way. When your son doesn't seem to notice you, it could be any number of things, like sensory issues, focused on something else, or a shutdown, or some other thing. I know a trait that I think is common in autism and ADHD both is to get so absorbed in something as to not notice other people trying to get your attention. I mean, I still get like this occasionally and I'm 41.

Something I came across on the forum when I first started reading here was interesting to me, though. People talked about being able to read some or a few other autistic people's body language and vice versa. I don't know enough information to say. But it was an interesting thought.

I don't know, I guess what I'm suggesting is that there may very well be more cognition than may be visible. Here's hoping your interventions get good results. :)

Er, and I don't mean to minimize anything. I apologize if I came across that way.




I wonder that also, if people on the spectrum can sense one another, sort of pick up on each others "vibes", for lack of a better word. Almost like an unspoken language. Maybe that little boy felt a comfort from your presence.

As far as cognition I think you may be right. Eric has very particular episodes of tv shows that he likes, and to observe him, it would seem as though he's not really watching it at all, but when the show is over, he comes to you to play it again. He IS watching, but in his own way. Sometimes he'll cover the tv with a towel, leaving only a one inch strip of the screen uncovered, and he'll watch it like that. Maybe watching it the way the average person views television is too much sensory input for him.

Your post didn't seem minimizing at all. I'm here for answers, ideas... I can read medical texts 'til I'm blue in the face, but they're too clinical, too sterile; that won't really give me understanding from a personal, human level.



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07 May 2011, 7:32 am

cyberdad wrote:
wavefreak58 wrote:
I have no problem with lower-functioning autistic people and I understand that some people may be better/worse than me in different ways, but as I was there hoping to socialise with other HF autistic people I decided this group was not for me. Or to be more precise; I left feeling upset and embarrassed, but vowed to go to the next public meeting to check them out before ruling the group out completely. .


I'm the same. But situational factors do have to be accounted for.

I was in the playground with my daughter and a 12yr old boy took over the swing and wouldn't get off. He seemed a bit slow in his movements and a few other kids gathered round waiting for him to finish. Then without warning he began licking the ropes of the swing and caused the other parents to be repulsed. They gathered their kids and walked off.

I asked my daughter to wait as I talked to the boy and asked him if he could give my daughter a turn on the swing. Then without warning two teenagers appeared and blasted me verbally for interfering with their brother. I explained to them that I was only talking to him. One of the teens said he was autistic and I should be more considerate. I was left stunned, I only was trying to interact with the boy.

It occurred to me that family of LFA children maybe highly sensitive to what other people's views are. Engaging with LFA children or even adults needs to be in accordance with their families expressed permission.


This is one of the main reasons why I feel parents with LFA children(or ANY disability) should include their children into more public activities. My little guy gets a lot of stares, although I don't think he's repulsed anyone yet...YET! :lol:

There are a lot of people who lack understanding or compassion, and since their world is perfect, they don't feel they have any need for those characteristics. Maybe they feel like they aren't obligated to extend those feelings to a stranger, and I suppose they're put out by people who could use a little understanding and compassion. If they encountered more people on the lower end of the spectrum, maybe they'd be able to make room for them in their life experience.

I wouldn't react the way those kids did to you. I welcome anyone who wants to interact with my son, as long as it's positive interaction. Maybe they've run into too many people like the ones I mentioned above...I can see where after a while it might put you in a constant state of defensiveness. But they're also kids, so maybe as time goes by they'll find a better way to deal with situations like that, and not feel the need to put everyone in the same box.

Also...there's a lot to be said for Clorox sanitizing wipes. :lol:



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07 May 2011, 10:21 am

Bauhauswife wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
wavefreak58 wrote:
I have no problem with lower-functioning autistic people and I understand that some people may be better/worse than me in different ways, but as I was there hoping to socialise with other HF autistic people I decided this group was not for me. Or to be more precise; I left feeling upset and embarrassed, but vowed to go to the next public meeting to check them out before ruling the group out completely. .


I'm the same. But situational factors do have to be accounted for.

I was in the playground with my daughter and a 12yr old boy took over the swing and wouldn't get off. He seemed a bit slow in his movements and a few other kids gathered round waiting for him to finish. Then without warning he began licking the ropes of the swing and caused the other parents to be repulsed. They gathered their kids and walked off.

I asked my daughter to wait as I talked to the boy and asked him if he could give my daughter a turn on the swing. Then without warning two teenagers appeared and blasted me verbally for interfering with their brother. I explained to them that I was only talking to him. One of the teens said he was autistic and I should be more considerate. I was left stunned, I only was trying to interact with the boy.

It occurred to me that family of LFA children maybe highly sensitive to what other people's views are. Engaging with LFA children or even adults needs to be in accordance with their families expressed permission.


This is one of the main reasons why I feel parents with LFA children(or ANY disability) should include their children into more public activities. My little guy gets a lot of stares, although I don't think he's repulsed anyone yet...YET! :lol:

There are a lot of people who lack understanding or compassion, and since their world is perfect, they don't feel they have any need for those characteristics. Maybe they feel like they aren't obligated to extend those feelings to a stranger, and I suppose they're put out by people who could use a little understanding and compassion. If they encountered more people on the lower end of the spectrum, maybe they'd be able to make room for them in their life experience.

I wouldn't react the way those kids did to you. I welcome anyone who wants to interact with my son, as long as it's positive interaction. Maybe they've run into too many people like the ones I mentioned above...I can see where after a while it might put you in a constant state of defensiveness. But they're also kids, so maybe as time goes by they'll find a better way to deal with situations like that, and not feel the need to put everyone in the same box.

Also...there's a lot to be said for Clorox sanitizing wipes. :lol:

Teenagers can be overbearing when they exercise authority. That's just the fact of the matter.

And it sounds like you played it pretty well, and this is something that's taken me a while to learn. If somebody (or two somebodies) need space, I will give them space, without the intervening step of asking if they 'should' need space. Need space, I'll give space.



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07 May 2011, 10:39 am

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
Teenagers can be overbearing when they exercise authority. That's just the fact of the matter.


I doubt it's that simple. It could be that they, like my older brother, had seen their sibling be harmed by most interactions. Having no speech, written, or gestural communication, I had no way to protect myself when I was a child. Negative interactions far out-numbered the positive ones when he wasn't around to guard me.



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07 May 2011, 10:46 am

Bauhauswife wrote:
I wonder that also, if people on the spectrum can sense one another, sort of pick up on each others "vibes", for lack of a better word. Almost like an unspoken language. Maybe that little boy felt a comfort from your presence.


Yes, I believe this to be true and have felt it as well as seen it happen. I cannot articulate it though in any "believable" way. I raised two daughters. Both of them became teachers or teach in some capacity. My AS daughter is pursuing her PhD right now but tutors. She tells me that she has the "market" in her area for autistic kids because the autistic kids will talk to her. They seek her out so the parents are crazy for my daughter and hire her as a tutor. My other daughter is a 6th grade teacher in an elementary school. She is as NT as they come but she was raised with me and my AS daughter so she speaks fluent Autism. Again the autistic kids listen to her and like her. Her boss (and many other people) have recommended Special Education to her. I believe we "sense" people who can speak our Language or are friendly rather than just people on the spectrum...



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07 May 2011, 4:20 pm

Given the chance, I would socialize with LF autistics. But given my abilities we'd just sit there ackwardly and look around.