What do you dislike the most about aspergers syndrome

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The fact that no matter how hard I try, at a fundamental level I will always be an outsider. Emotionally, that knowledge hurts.

For me its bad hand eye coordination, and not being able to make friends. thats about it

The vague definition of the "syndrome" and the lack of clear biological markers used to identify it.

How it is defined negatively as a series of "deficits".
If someone has a "deficit" then others may view that person as less than a complete human being.
I also don't particularly like how these presumed "deficits" are used to pigeonhole people who could have very different underlying genetic conditions and therefore very different needs. It's like "tarring people with the same brush" *idiom* and not treating them as capable, individual human beings.


I am also unhappy with how the words "Aspergers Syndrome" seem to trigger unpractical responses from well meaning people. For instance, these two words seem to elicit perplexing responses such as: "You're on a journey...", "You should be proud of yourself", "You have an extreme male brain", "You show a failure...for your appropriate developmental level"...

Many of the people that say these have good intentions, but these phrases make me feel worse about myself. When labelled in this way, I felt like I was being patronised. I felt like I was being controlled, spied on and having my freedom curtailed by the authorities who set out what the "appropriate developmental levels" were.

I feel depressed and subhuman when I trawl through websites with these phrases in them.
According to these websites, most of the women I knew had "male brains". This was odd. They may have enjoyed thinking logically and problem solving, but many of them also enjoyed "female" activities like clothes shopping, cooking, make up and so on. It just doesn't make any sense. They didn't like idle gossip, didn't "sugar coat" anything, but they were still women.

The phrase "You're on a journey" is kind of foggy.
It's a shame that it doesn't give practical step by step advice on how to interact with other people.
The phrase just kind of "leaves the listener hanging" without a clue as to what to do next.
It would be great if this phrase could give services that provide practical social and economic support for the individual. On it's own, this phrase is just a well meaning phrase: just words.

I am also concerned about how the words "Asperger's Syndrome" as used to stigmatise people and not provide them with any real help they may need. These words could also be used to cover up for systemic and societal problems by blaming an individual. These words could be used to pathologise people highly sensitive people who are hyper aware that the modern world is becoming more crowded, noisy and hyperstimulating.

I dislike being defined as autistic because I feel hyperconnected to the people and symbolism all around me. I feel hyperaware of what's going on and human emotions. Sometimes it's too much all at once for me to cope.

Memory problems
Problems speaking coherently
Hearing/comprehension problems
Light (I hate you, Sun)
The way that I have to make myself look like a complete ass trying to avoid situations where I have to deal with people (even family members)

I dislike the word "with" being attached to the words "Asperger's Syndrome".
The phrase "Adults with Asperger's Syndrome" makes me shudder as it sounds so stigmatising and it doesn't explain the core of what's really going on.

I dislike people being defined as being "with" a "disorder" tacked onto them.
I prefer to view them as whole real people.
Real people with different aptitudes and different mental operating systems.

I felt disappointed when Attwood used the words "with Aspergers" as I didn't feel they were helpful and didn't explain the biology of the condition in detail.

What if this broad "Asperger's" category is actually a label being used to lump many different and distinct genetic conditions together?

I think that the question "What is Asperger's Syndrome?" could be misleading as it seems to imply that there is only one genetic condition. What if there are many conditions?

This is what bothers me as a layperson.

Maybe the question should be "What are Asperger's conditions?".
Rather than "What is it?" perhaps the question could be phrased:
"Who are they?", "Who are you?" or "Who am I?"

Who are we?

When I try really hard to make friends and I come off as offensive.

i still quite like it all, though being misunderstood is tiresome. the uniform is kinda corny too

Accidentally hurting people's feelings, especially the ones I love.

I don't like the way society puts Autistics down and say that we are the ones who lack understanding for others - when NTs are just as bad towards us with the lack of understanding. If NTs were all so full of understanding of other people all the time, and can ''read'' all these hidden feelings of other people and what they're thinking, and they have all this social imagination of how other's may feel, then why do Aspies and Autistics still get teased, ignored, looked upon, misjudged, (the list goes on) all their lives? Surely, if NTs were all of the above, they would then be able to look at us and think, ''ohh dear, I can put myself in their shoes easily, because I'm NT with excellent understanding skills, so I can really see what it's like for them'', or, ''oh that girl over there has a blank face and looks a little weird....I'm not going to judge her. Instead, I might try to imagine how she could be feeling at this very moment. Perhaps she's feeling nervous about something, or perhaps she feels a bit run down, or she might even be feeling depressed. I don't know her life circumstances - she could have lost her job this morning, or a close relative could have died'', or, ''I'm an employer, and although this boy has Autism, I'm still going to take him on and give him a try. He might turn out more reliable and punctual, and just because he's got a few difficulties doesn't mean to say he's ret*d or anything. He wrote this application out all right, and he attended the interview well. Let's give him a chance,'' or, ''that girl over there isn't saying much. How would I feel if I were in her shoes, feeling lonely and awkward in a noisy crowded environment like this party I'm at? Maybe I will go upto her and talk to her. She might be really nice, and because I like being social, it will be a chance to add another friend on my list.''
Do NT strangers ever think of these? No. Some may, but most don't. So everybody, no matter what neurology, are as bad as eachother when it comes to this sort of thing, because Aspies find it hard to put ourselves in NT's shoes, but NTs find it just as hard to put themselves in Aspie's shoes. There is just an illusion that makes Aspies look like the ones who have a lack of understanding for others, because the majority of the population are NTs, so it does look like it's Aspies who are the problem with not understanding others. But in reality, if you think about it, NTs are just as bad. (Remember the examples above).
So we ain't going to understand NTs to the full extent, because we don't know what it's like to be able to join in conversations and have all these social cues come by instinct - the same as NTs aren't going to understand us to the full extent because they don't know what it's like to have sensitive ears and a firedrill will cause agony for us. Do you see?

The idea that woman with Aspergers have a mail brain is ridiculous as far as I'm concerned.

OK, I like logic and I'm quite skilled when it comes to the ability of logical thinking. I'm also reasonably skilled when it comes to maths, calculations and that sort of thing, but so are a lot of other woman who have not been diagnosed with Aspergers. The notion that people with Aspergers have an extremely mail brain is far too simplistic.

There have always been man and woman who have autism, so why should woman with Aspergers have a male brain all of a sudden? That doesn't explain the condition at all. Woman can be born with Aspergers as well at other foms of autism. The fact that somebody is male or female has got nothing to do with it!

There are so many misconceptions about Aspergers and autism in general.
One of the things that bothers me most is the believe that people with autism don't have empathy. That's total crap! We do have empathy and a lot of it! Maybe even more sometimes than people who don't have autistic characteristics. The only thing is, is that we don't always know how to handle our feelings and sometimes it's hard for us to show our emotions to the world. But that doesn't mean that we don't have them, come on! A lot of people who don't consider themselves autistic are very good in faking empathy, sympathy, sadness etcetera. People with autism don't tend to do that because we are simply more honest than many of the other hypocrites who populate this earth. That doesn't mean that people with autism are better. Autism can be a very difficult thing to deal with but we are worthy human beings, just as everybody else.

I am convinced that the emotions of people with Aspergers and other forms of autism may be even deeper and stronger than the emotions of people who call themselves 'normal'. However....when emotions get too strong and when they are too hard to handle the brain has a mechanism of shutting itself off to certain feelings and experiences and when that happens it may seem like you feel nothing for a short period of time. That's just a manner of coping with things. Let me give an example. Some people become very calm in stressfull and frightning situations, that's the same mechanism. Well that's my theory but I probably didn't make myself clear.

Besides, what is 'normal' anyway other than a useless classification.
When I a look at the state of the world I'm actually glad that I'm not classified as normal. Everybody is weird and crazy in one way or another and neurotypicals are no exception to the rule.

"It takes every kind of people to make the world go round."
Robert Palmer

The fact that it is not consistant, one day i will need to be social & others I need to be alone and become angry when I can't. It makes keeping friends very difficult.