Did your parents compare you to other kids?

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I don't think my mum was embarrassed by me like she was with her dad, but she wasn't really wired to bring up a child with learning, social and behavioural problems. It was like it was out of her depth. She thought that a 'normal' child meant a child who has lots of friends, is happy, joins clubs after school and has a social hobby. She encouraged me to join clubs after school, so I did. But that was because her sibling's NT children were joining clubs after school. Also it was to help me socially, too.

"your sister is so smart. why are you not like that?"

the question does not make sense. it happens that i am not like my sister, in that she is "so smart". that is beyond my control. there might not be an answer to the question. if there is, i have no method of knowing the answer. the answer won't solve the alleged problem.

"Follow-through" people are probably a bit more useful than "idea" people----though both are essential.

Other than parents discussing their own kids, my parents never outright compared me to other kids.

Never did compared me and told me about it.
Never told me that 'some other kid did this and why didn't I?' Never told me to do because other kids 'should' or 'must'. Never told me to be more girly, more social, or heck more 'normal' just like most other female kids do.
They knew that I figured what is right and wrong, and they trust that I would act accordingly to it. They didn't criticized me if I couldn't.

Never told me to do more or less -- I'm fine with it because I would insist to.
They're clueless enough that they could've break me without knowing, yet they are aware of that possibility.
They're lucky enough that I'm motivated to be independent instead of spoiling my way in, and to be able to be not to be trapped in some cycle that they had to put up with it.
So any certain type of pushing from them are mostly either unnecessary or harmful in my case, and I like it this way -- where I would be mainly my only judge whether or not I could do more or less. Instead, I would work out with how much my parents could provide me and take as little as possible.

To sum up, I'm not a demanding child and I don't have demanding parents, yet we are quite demanding to ourselves. It works out well so far.



Teachers don't compare me much. Some are more favorable, some aren't.
No one outright told me to act like an NT for sure. I'm just too odd to be simply compared to.


My SPED teacher, however, compares me too much, in various directions. From her other students mainly other autistics, from NTs, from myself of various timespan, from herself even.
As a child, well, why not? More so since she never met someone like my own case, she cannot help back then.
As an adult, the thing is that I let her be. Though she'd respect my wish if I ever told her to stop comparing me to anyone anymore.

Apparently I'm her idea of what high functioning autism really looks like. At the same time she wants me to be 'less weird' or is being lenient at certain moments out of either priority or concern.
Couldn't much distinguish yet, but it is a window how complex the social NT realm is.

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When my mom is angry at me, sometimes she's compared me to other friends on the spectrum.

I am not always too good with healthy eating. I have a sense of feeling deprived due to diets and eating restrictions my mom has suggested for me. She struggles with her weight too, so I guess that she's scared of it going to extremes like her. and once she yelled at me and said that even one of my friends who happens to be on the spectrum too is capable of healthy eating/and being careful and I should too.

In a moment of getting upset, I started flapping and she named a few of my friends and said that they don't flap or stim like I do. :/