Being an Aspie is the worst

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Yes, but I get people staring at me funny as though I do these things - which I don't do. I don't do ANYTHING unusual at all, I know my own self-awareness, and I just know that I do not look anything out of the ordinary. And I've learnt that posture doesn't count, since I see loads of people walking with an awkward gait (well, around here I do, not sure about where you lot come from), and I dress presentably, and have good hygeine, and....I'm just a typical young female, can't get any more simpler than that. I mean, those who laugh must have no sense of humour, since they are not laughing at something worth laughing at. I don't laugh at young, slim girls who are walking along innocently minding their own business, looking clean, and wearing trendy clothes and looking ordinary. I laugh at people like this man who sits by a fountain all day drinking Whisky and singing loudly to himself, and doesn't realise how ridiculous he is actually being. That's who I sometimes grin to myself at as I walk past. Well, it's his life and he chooses what he wants to do with it, but I still think he's a little sad and sometimes he even sounds a little frightening, and sometimes you can't help but look and grin to yourself. But me, I am nothing to laugh about. So having people laughing at me when I'm not doing anything different is more hurtful, because if I had odd ticks or something, I would say, ''well it's probably that what makes them look'', but if I've got nothing at all what makes them look, then there is nothing to work on, so there is nothing I can do about it other than having humourless people laughing at me all day. It's so overwhelming if you think about it.

That might not be the case. Joe90 might be an extrovert aspie, and so social interaction might be more important to her than what it is to most aspies, and she can't help that. I have a cousin who has mild asperger, and he is nearly 15. He goes to mainstream school and so he is adapting to the social world, and he really loves spending time with friends but is not always sure how to do it, and so gets a bit upset about it. Perhaps this is how Joe90 is feeling about herself?

I am not particularly social, but I will say it got much easier once I was old enough to drive, because I had more choices. The media/science fiction group was great because (a) they shared one of my obsessions and (b) they only got together once a month, which latter would not be very helpful to someone who wants a lot of social interaction, but OTOH there were two or three other groups within easy driving distance I could have joined as well, with some overlapping members (another media/science fiction group, a literary science fiction group, and an anime group), so if I'd wanted to I could have gone to something every week or more. But before I could drive, no possible way of finding any of them.

Once I'd found one, though, I gradually had access to them all -- and finding the first one depended on being able to drive (saw a flyer at a comics store I drove to). It may be easier to find local groups that are interested in one of your passions now that there's the Internet, or at least I would think so, but of course I find it really easy to socialize on the internet -- far easier than in person -- while some Aspies really need that personal interaction so the Internet isn't as useful. And it's probably less about driving and more about being able to get out and go places by yourself -- I have Aspie friends who don't drive who also say it got easier as they got older because they could seek out people who shared their interests and take the bus or otherwise find their own way without having to run everything through a parent first.

A lot of things Aspies obsesses on are unusual interests in the NT world, but fairly common interests for Aspies, so while most groups around that subject may be primarily NT members, the NT members may have a high tolerance for Aspie traits. Often the local expert, the guy who is Totally Obsessed with whatever and who is therefore the Go To guy if you want to know something obscure or how something works, is an Aspie. So even if there are only a few Aspies proportionately, their impact can be pretty strong and that changes the social norms within that group to make them more open to Aspie habits. They also may state their social norms in a very clear and unambiguous fashion (the gamer cons that post signs reminding people to bathe daily, sleep so many hours a day and eat so many times a day, for instance), and be willing to repeatedly remind people of the norms instead of condemning them when they aren't following them.

Extrovert or not, if people are criticizing you in a way that makes you feel horrible about yourself, they don't deserve your time. There's a way to help people learn social rules without making them feel bad about who they are.

I have both and know that they put limits on your life equally. For example, let's say you got a customer service job where you have to deal with many people with many types of problems (or any job that deals with more than a hand full of people or overwhelming activities). How long do you think that job will last with a NON-mild case of autism/aspergers (and everything that comes with it, including meltdowns, social anxiety, over-stimulation/feelings of being overwhelmed over little things etc). A "normal" or mild person can handle these tasks easily after a little practice. A person with autism will in fact suffer from this occupation and continue to fail for as long as they are there. There is a reason people who are more than mild end up living with their parents their whole lives, and just "depression" is a reason with the least significance. They may be perfectly intelligent, but still mentally incapable in some or many aspects of the real world.
Calling yourself mentally limited sounds negative because of today's society, but I really don't view it that way. I'm not down about myself, I just know my mental limitations.
I'm also not telling people to give up or anything, cause you never know, maybe someday you'll find something that works with you. I'm personally still finding that "thing", I may even come across it halfway through my life. Who knows?

There's just this one thing that gets to me when I hear those who have autism say they are successful and completely independent, and that anyone else like them can do the same without any kind of help... Yes, anyone "like you" can do it because you're mild! That does not mean everyone with autism or aspergers can live the same life as you, because they have a much more severe case.

Why thank you good sir

Yes you will always come to people who won't accept you but this happens to NTs too. You shouldn't let people talk down to you and what I mean by that is feel bad about what they say to you an don't listen to them if they say you are selfish or self centered or whatever. If someone treats you bad, walk away and never speak to that person again. As for family, avoid them if they don't treat you right or do the silent treatment around them.


I find it odd how some aspies can't get help because they aren't disabled enough but yet I have gotten help despite being mild aspie too. What gives? Maybe it has to do with what country you're in and what US state you live in. Maybe each country and US state has their own standards on what is disabled. Sometimes I wonder if there could be something else with me that has gotten me help besides having AS. You sound like you're in the gray and gray areas suck when it comes to having a disability because they make it black and white. Do they go by mild AS, moderate AS, and severe AS in order to get you the help they need and mild AS doesn't qualify?

I used to be an extrovert and I always got upset when I get rejections or couldn't fit in or socialize and then I gave up and I have been happier ever since. I realized who needs it? I don't understand how people can't help that? I mean you can just change your ways like decide "Ah screw it, I don't need friend,s friends are over rated. I can be by myself and be happy." But social interactions were never important to me and what I mean by that is when people just sit around or stand around and talk and do nothing.

I'm on the mild end of the spectrum but I still suffer at these things. At my volunteer job I was put on the till a lot, but the more I had the responsibility of the customers, the more anxious I got, instead of getting better at it. But it might be low self-esteem though. Admittedly, I think I have got better at making friends since I left school, so my social interaction skills must have got better in some ways. But about the till thing, I think the panic attacks I got were more linked to my anxiety disorder and Social Phobia, not entirely because of the AS. Or perhaps it was just me realising that I'm not wired to be a good customer advisor, perhaps I'd get better at other things like multi-tasking if I practised (which I actually did too at the voluntary job, and I feel I'm much more confident in multi-tasking than I am interacting with customers).

So you're right.

I know that situation. I had to spend four years on Jobseeker's before they finally let me go on ESA. Even now, I'm still subject to periodic medical assessments from the DWP/Atos.

Despite the DWP's harassment, I've managed to build a reasonably comfortable life for myself. I have my own flat and enough money to indulge my interests and live a relatively independent life.

I like to think that my time on JSA taught me how to be economical and get the most out of my money and when the ESA finally came along I was able to apply those strategies to a higher budget and make my money go that bit further.

Hey, you know what?

AS most certainly does suck.

But, a close family member of mine just had a stroke.

Trust me, there are many ways to be a lot worse off.

"The worst?"

Certainly not.

I live on my own with my fiance. Life is pretty good for me. I mean it could be a lot worse.

I'm not delusional about what autism and Asperger's is. It's just that I'm the type of person who would rather celebrate my differences, than rid myself of them. We all have different ways of dealing with having AS. I choose to be happy and celebrate all my differences. AS is one of my differences, so I celebrate that as well. Life is what you make it, and I choose to be happy. There are worse things that I can be than autistic. I can be like Jenny McCarthy and I'm glad I'm not like her. I don't have a problem with my AS. I have a problem with the way that the majority of the human population sees AS and autism.

Oh, and another thing. I am not mentally handicapped and I actually do live on my own. I've been living on my own for 5 years without any problems. I also have a part time job. I've also known a few people who were mentally handicapped and they were some of the most interesting people that I've ever met.

Another thing. My bowel problems do not make me mentally handicapped. They make me incontinent. I've learned to live with that, as well. A lot if intelligent and successful people deal with one sort of incontinence or another.

I have a very mild case of AS. It's the anxiety disorder what is very disabling. If I didn't have an anxiety disorder, I think I would be able to do a little more than I do. And I'm not trying to make excuses - it is really the anxiety disorder what is causing anxiety which is preventing me from moving on because I worry too much of what might happen (and what might happen is what probably will happen to me, since I'm a target for obnoxious youths).