How does eye contact make you feel?

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Up until high school, it made me feel anxious, threatened and provoked. It was incredibly and extremely uncomfortable.
Although I don't mind it as much today, sometimes I question whether I'm doing it right, and that in itself is anxiety provoking.

I almost always look at a person's mouth when they're talking. Strangely, when I do look at someones eyes I feel like I am making a sexual connection. Therefore, I have to reaaaally like someone before I'll even make minimal eye contact.

Can't do it for longer than a second or two.. I always find myself trying to make eye-contact then looking at the floor or wall or ceiling..

Its not exactly painful but I cannot come up with a better term for the feeling.

Always hated it but developed coping strategies around it. As I lipread it can look like I'm looking people in the eye..... sometimes I fixate on a person's nose which again at least looks like I'm making eye contact. (wow just literally got a free chinese!!) That's a turn up for the books ! ! Had a difficult time making a deaf text relay order last night so they've sent a driver to my house with a letter of apology from Manager with meal offer for free times two. That's really cheered me up!

Eye contact is funny and strange thing.

In my earlier years, I would not give eye contact properly, accordingly to NTs.

I have been shamed into giving eye contact and accordingly I give eye contact more than ever, now that I'm older.

The NTs told me it was a sign of injured self-confidence; I am confident as a person, however.

So in order to express my confidence, I give eye contact; though, it took me awhile to do it right.

At first I would give too much eye contact. I still do that at times I believe, but people just think I'm eccentric as a result.

You can play with eye contact too - make it a game.

It feels "intentional". When I see a person's eyes I notice the details of their eyes, like shape and color and how much makeup is on them. I hardly see anything else. I tend to look at beautiful eyes a lot, and hardly any at non-beautiful eyes.

Well, I don't personally have bad feeling about eye contact, but I still avoid making one, because the eye contact I make, is staring and irritating.

Some people say, that when I look in their eyes, it feels like I'm trying to scan their brains. I find this quite funny.

edit: I have noticed that if I don't make eye contact, some people think I don't listen to them and keep talking about the same thing over and over again. My pianoteacher does that. I occationally have to take a look at his eyes, even thought with him, it's ME who feels like having her brains scanned while eye contact. He doesn't have staring eyes, but he's intelligent and analyzing.

Sometimes I'm fine with it and it doesn't bother me at all. I'm not even aware of it really, at these times.

Other times ... I get this shot of adrenaline and feel a rush of panic. If I'm trying to maintain the contact, I feel like I'm giving a signal that's meant to declare a challenge, if they're trying to maintain the contact, I feel like they're issuing a threat or challenge. I mean, I know they're not and I'm not, but those are what those signals seem to mean to me at an instinctual level.

Then there's with a love interest, where I get a different sort of panic from prolonged eye contact. Feel like I'm being laid bare and exposed and I'm seized with a sort of existential terror, terror like imminent death terror, like what you might feel with a train hurtling toward you.

Or not. Lol. That's the funny part, that it can be so intense, and yet other times, there's just no trouble at all, not even the least discomfort. I've never been able to figure out why it happens sometimes but not other times, what the trigger could possibly be.

I have no problem with looking in some ones eyes. They just don't like me burning a hole in the back of they head. I reduce eye contact when speaking & increase eye contact when listening. I have no guilt.

Eye contact makes me feel very "fight or flight" panicy. It feels invasive and threatening even if (and especially if) it's someone I look up to. I feel like it's bright spotlight being shined into my eyes.

Faking it: I try to look at the person's eyelashes, eyelids, etc. Also, when my gaze is averted, I consciously make sure that my eyebrows are slightly lifted, my mouth is smiling, and I nod subtly.

I try to give "mmm hmms" and so forth they know I really am listening. It's so much easier for me to remember what someone is telling me if she's not looking me in the eyes!

EYE DOCTOR: anyone else freaked out/panic stricken by eye dr. & eye exams?? They horrify me.

My natural instinct is to avoid eye contact. There's a handful of people I can easily look in the eye, all of whom I trust. Otherwise I get a slippery gaze. I look sideways at people or take quick peeks at their eyes like I'm trying to snatch brief glimpses of the sun.

Someone mentioned interviews. I'm sure I've lost jobs because, among other things, my eye contact sucks. I have to constantly remind myself to look into the interviewer's eyes. I'm never sure how much eye contact is appropriate and I'm certain I end up staring rudely sometimes. Ah, interviews. Made for the socially inclined. How a person can tell you're suitable for a job from one half-hour meeting, I have no idea. But that's another rant...

When I was little, apparently I wouldn't even look up. My parents were constantly reminding me to lift my head. We didn't know I had Asperger's then, but I wonder now if it was because I was trying to avoid eye contact. There were advantages to it - I used to find a lot of money. Was anyone else like that?

L

Erm if two people who come into contact with each other, with one who is bothered:-

Introverts x2
Reduce eye contact when speaking <> Increase eye contact when listening.
Increase eye contact when listening <> Reduce eye contact when speaking.

Extroverts x2
Increase eye contact when speaking <> Reduce eye contact when listening.
Reduce eye contact when listening <> Increase eye contact when speaking.

Does anyone see a problem here? Like saying look at me?

Introvert & Extrovert
Reduce eye contact when speaking <> Reduce eye contact when listening.
Increase eye contact when listening <> Increase eye contact when speaking.

I can scan the page from the book if you want me to.

@TechnoDog, Your point?

I can do it on a regular basis now, but it still makes me feel uncomfortable. I still have trouble holding it for long periods as my head will tend to turn away at some point without me thinking about it. I think that was the main problem I had as a kid. I just never thought of doing it and when I did, I didn't like it. So I just ended up avoiding it altogether.

Holding eye contact on a person for too long makes me nervous and I kind of avert my eyes and then look back. I had a big problem with learning about eye contact when I was a little girl.