autisticPepole not allowedin supermarket? (what??)

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y-pod
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23 Apr 2012, 3:53 am

I'm sorry to hear about your awful experience in the store. It doesn't look like there's an easy solution, though. Teenagers are not usually caring, understanding bunch. And their rudeness tend to multiply with their numbers. I'm pretty certain that your response have shocked at least some of them, and they might feel remorse inside and would be more careful next time about laughing at people.

I agree you should write to complain about the incident. Though I'm also sure the teen boys also learned a lesson. Try to learn to forgive them, it will give you peace. Nobody stays young and stupid forever. Hopefully they will not forget about that and grow into responsible more understanding people.


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23 Apr 2012, 4:16 am

DVCal wrote:
Nintendofan, I suggest you stop wearing those ear defenders in public. It really makes you look mentally disabled, someone with a very very low IQ. I suggest you switch to more discrete ear plugs or some noise canceling inner ear headphones that plays soothing music.

I know it isn't your fault, but you really need to stop wearing those in public.


I don't think that Nintendofan needs to change anything about her appearance. Ear defenders are designed for work in high noise areas, and ear plugs don't block noise quite as efficiently. If Nintendofan has severe sensory problems with environmental noises, she has a good reason and of course a right to wear ear defenders.

Some people with epilepsy have to wear a helmet in public that provides protection from falling due to seizures. That's also an unusual look, but of course that's no excuse for making fun of them. And if they had a seizure inside of a store, it would be no reason to ban them from the premises. It is the unaccepting attitude of society that has to change, especially the attitude of teenage bullies, not the appearance and requirements of neurodiverse people.



edgewaters
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23 Apr 2012, 6:16 am

DVCal wrote:
Nintendofan, I suggest you stop wearing those ear defenders in public. It really makes you look mentally disabled, someone with a very very low IQ. I suggest you switch to more discrete ear plugs or some noise canceling inner ear headphones that plays soothing music.

I know it isn't your fault, but you really need to stop wearing those in public.


Your post makes me wish I could make a flash mob appear at the store with everyone wearing ear defenders.



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23 Apr 2012, 6:34 am

DVCal wrote:
Nintendofan, I suggest you stop wearing those ear defenders in public. It really makes you look mentally disabled, someone with a very very low IQ. I suggest you switch to more discrete ear plugs or some noise canceling inner ear headphones that plays soothing music.

I know it isn't your fault, but you really need to stop wearing those in public.


Ear plugs don't always block out that much noise. I've found a pair of ear plugs that I find comfortable; but they only block out noise up to 20 decibels.

Some people have no choice but to wear defenders.



miss-understood
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23 Apr 2012, 7:40 am

I've got no doubt those teenagers were laughing at you. People like that laugh at my son every time he goes out... shops, parks, swimming pool, even if he is in our own front garden. He is also severely autistic and it is very obvious from a glance that he is different. It doesn't give anyone any right to treat you or him like s**t. You can go wherever the hell you please. You didn't hurt anyone. I must also say that whenever I take my son out, if he starts to meltdown (and he is loud and lying on the floor writhing around) there are always kind people who offer to help, even if they appear uncomfortable with the situation. The world is not full of jerks, many people do care and understand and there is a minority of duckheads who will try to make your life miserable or limit what you do. You also have every right to wear whatever ear protection suits you best...

It is such a shame you can't get professional help. Are you stuck on waiting lists or do they say there is no help available for you? I think some input from a psychologist and OT could really make it easier for you and help you cope better with being out in the world and in dealing with the people who make it harder for you. Not to make it easier for them to have you in their shop, but for you to feel better and less stressed. Are there other places you or your family can try to access some services, maybe through charities?

Please nintendofan listen to MotherKnowsBest and talk to the EHRC about what happened.
I'm really hoping this has a good outcome for you.

As a bit of a side note... where are the mothers who are "raising" these children who think it's ok to laugh at others like this? Teaching your children about things like this is Mothering 101, how do they miss that?!@#$%^&*



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23 Apr 2012, 7:49 am

miss-understood wrote:

As a bit of a side note... where are the mothers who are "raising" these children who think it's ok to laugh at others like this? Teaching your children about things like this is Mothering 101, how do they miss that?!@#$%^&*


Every kid who has been bullied at least once keeps asking such questions.


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MotherKnowsBest
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23 Apr 2012, 8:52 am

miss-understood wrote:
As a bit of a side note... where are the mothers who are "raising" these children who think it's ok to laugh at others like this? Teaching your children about things like this is Mothering 101, how do they miss that?!@#$%^&*


Unfortunately that's probably who they've learnt it from. My experience is that every time I've been insulted or abused while out and about by complete strangers, it's been older women who've done it. Like the smartly dressed, middle class 40 something woman in the queue (in Sainsbury's this time) who gleefully announced to everyone in the vicinity that she'd kill herself if she was like me. Cue much sniggering from everyone around me.



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23 Apr 2012, 8:56 am

Nintendofan, I have another link for you, which you might find useful. It's for the National Autism Services Directory. This is a database maintained by the National Autistic Society which you can search for services in your area. It's not a definitive list, but it's a good starting place.

http://www.autism.org.uk/directory.aspx

In my hometown my mum found an organisation through this database that arranges work placements for young adults with AS. They found my nephew (ASD) a position in a plant nursery (gardening is his special interest) where he gets to dig and plant things all day and connected him with another charity who pay for his taxi to get there and back each day.



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23 Apr 2012, 9:19 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
DVCal wrote:
Nintendofan, I suggest you stop wearing those ear defenders in public. It really makes you look mentally disabled, someone with a very very low IQ. I suggest you switch to more discrete ear plugs or some noise canceling inner ear headphones that plays soothing music.

I know it isn't your fault, but you really need to stop wearing those in public.



No, she isn't hurting anyone and people need to stop being dicks.

Maybe she has severe auditory sensitivity that means she'd be in a lot of pain/melting down without them?


yes i do thats why i wear them in the first place. ive found the least noticble and most looking like headphones kind so i wear them because they look a bit like headphones, more than bulky ear defenders.
feeling of ear plugs in my ear freaks me out and makes me hit it with my fist until somone pulls it out my ear again.


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my picture is my ear defenders that i wear all the time. pictured is silencio earmuff, l1 howard leight, i also own 12 howard leight (not pictured) .


nintendofan
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23 Apr 2012, 9:23 am

DVCal wrote:
Nintendofan, I suggest you stop wearing those ear defenders in public. It really makes you look mentally disabled, someone with a very very low IQ. I suggest you switch to more discrete ear plugs or some noise canceling inner ear headphones that plays soothing music.

I know it isn't your fault, but you really need to stop wearing those in public.


i am mentaly disabled, with a lower than average IQ , does that make me have less right to be in public?
i dont like the feeling of anything being in my ears it freaks me out makes me scream and panic and punch my ears until somone takes it out.

stoping wearing them in public is like teling somone they shouldnt use sunglasses in public (visualy sensitive persons) , or there wheelchair (for a person who can still walk but not all the time) in public.


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my picture is my ear defenders that i wear all the time. pictured is silencio earmuff, l1 howard leight, i also own 12 howard leight (not pictured) .


Alfonso12345
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23 Apr 2012, 12:30 pm

It's sad that this had to happen like that. They had no right to ban you from the store like that. But I can understand why they did it. Most people are afraid of others that they don't understand and because the managers don't understand you they were probably afraid that you might end up harming others or damaging things in the store, even though you did not at the time.



Alfonso12345
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23 Apr 2012, 12:37 pm

edgewaters wrote:
DVCal wrote:
Nintendofan, I suggest you stop wearing those ear defenders in public. It really makes you look mentally disabled, someone with a very very low IQ. I suggest you switch to more discrete ear plugs or some noise canceling inner ear headphones that plays soothing music.

I know it isn't your fault, but you really need to stop wearing those in public.


Your post makes me wish I could make a flash mob appear at the store with everyone wearing ear defenders.


Nice idea lol. It would almost be like all the people in the movie "V for Vendetta" wearing the same mask lol. Actually, if it was possible, I would love being part of the mob.



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23 Apr 2012, 7:46 pm

nintendofan wrote:
DVCal wrote:
i am mentaly disabled, with a lower than average IQ , does that make me have less right to be in public?
i dont like the feeling of anything being in my ears it freaks me out makes me scream and panic and punch my ears until somone takes it out. .


I don't think any autistic person is "mentally disabled", it would be impossible for anyone with severe noise sensitivity to cope with learning so you have been delayed in your learning but that does not mean you still can't learn.

Continue to read and experience the world, don't listen or believe what other people label you.



DVCal
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23 Apr 2012, 8:06 pm

nintendofan I wasn't trying to say you are wrong for wearing your ear defenders in public, only that many people will judge you for wearing them.

Are you sure their is nothing more discrete you can use in public?



nintendofan
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23 Apr 2012, 9:44 pm

DVCal wrote:
nintendofan I wasn't trying to say you are wrong for wearing your ear defenders in public, only that many people will judge you for wearing them.

Are you sure their is nothing more discrete you can use in public?


well i dont care, i feel more conftable i dont care what others think, ive seen council workers pop into the supermarket, still wearing ear defenders from working, not wearing one of them coincil jackets just in normal clothing. and they dont get a second look.

its rare i get a second look for wearing ear defenders, since i wear a sachel type bag that says im autistic etc etc in clear text .


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my picture is my ear defenders that i wear all the time. pictured is silencio earmuff, l1 howard leight, i also own 12 howard leight (not pictured) .


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24 Apr 2012, 10:46 am

The store management is completely wrong in treating you that way, and those boys are the ones who should be banned, not you. While this issue is being brought to the attention of the disability rights people and the store's corporate office, is there any way that your brother or sister could shop for you, until everything gets settled?


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