Which NT Traits Baffle you the Most?

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Applecore
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 26 Nov 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 60

29 Apr 2012, 3:31 pm

I'm confused to why social norms which no one seem to understand don't vanish. Like wearing a hat inside isn't aloud, but when I talk to fellow teacher who have strict rules about this they can't come up with a good reason to why kids can't wear a beanie or cap inside. Is their any point in still having this rule then i ask, and they just answer "well, its not polite"...

Nikadee43
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 15 Oct 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 62
Location: Seattle

29 Apr 2012, 8:16 pm

It seems most NTs value being viewed as "nice" more than being viewed as honest. They don't want to hurt peoples' feelings or start conflict even though an issue is clearly bothering them. Bothering them enough to talk about the person behind their back, but never wanting to resolve it to their face. And many that I know don't take responsibility for their actions when they know they've done something wrong.

bettalove
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29 Apr 2012, 8:30 pm

Nikadee43 wrote:

I lost a job because of that one.

EstherJ
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29 Apr 2012, 9:30 pm

The "how are you!" that isn't supposed to be answered honestly.

Why ask if you expect the answer to be "good!" What if it's not good? No logic there.

The need to constantly smile. Fake smile, real smile, laugh. Always HAPPY. Like it's the only emotion. G-d forbid if you frown!!

The enjoyment of noise. Heels. Jangly earrings. Yelling. Keys. Loud music. Yes, the whole world knows you're coming. Do you like it that way?

I think the thing that baffles me the MOST is the constantly changing social structure. You're never in the same place with people. It's all so subjective.

cubedemon6073
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30 Apr 2012, 11:13 am

Applecore wrote:

I would ask why isn't it polite.

Nikadee43
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 15 Oct 2011
Age: 39
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Location: Seattle

30 Apr 2012, 12:08 pm

bettalove wrote:

Nikadee43 wrote:

I lost a job because of that one.

Which part?

marshall
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30 Apr 2012, 1:36 pm

Bloodheart wrote:

Fun.

I have fun, but NT's concept of fun seems different to mine...not that they find different things fun, just the way they go about having fun is...alien. It's hard to explain what I mean, but see it in my friends when they can just randomly 'hang out' with others and have fun doing nothing, when they seem to find playing charades on a relaxed day at work or dressing-up in costumes at work 'fun', or in photo's of groups of friends all squishing their faces together and grinning like Cheshire cats or pulling faces...it's some sort of NT trait to make themselves appear that they're having fun in photo's as proof that they are capable of having fun.

I don't get that either.

KatzenJam
Butterfly

Joined: 8 Feb 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 10

30 Apr 2012, 4:53 pm

jetbuilder wrote:

People who are constantly moving their hands all over the place when they talk.

dancing

When I tell someone I can't do something with them because I already have other plans and they insist on asking what I'm doing as if it's not as important as their plans. I just want to say "Does it matter what I'm doing?!

preoccupation wit the personal lives of famous people

supermodels and porn stars (I just don't find them attractive at all)

I move my hands nearly EVERYWHERE when I talk, but I think that's just because that's something my mom's side of the family does. I just grew up around it. My hand motions don't usually make sense to people though, even people who do move their hands while talking.

But I agree with people's obsessions over celebrities is annoying. I just want to shake them and tell them "You have your own life, with its own events! It will never effect you that this person got married, had a kid or went to rehab. It just doesn't matter!"

My sister is the worst offender of it.

Mirror21
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30 Apr 2012, 5:00 pm

You know what I REALLY don't get when an NT starts a conversation with you and you elaborate on the topic and they say you are arguing because you are "rebutting" them or whatever. Grinds my gears.

Another one is when they say that your comments had no point or that we did not have a logical leap in speech.

If we are talking about a genre of book like, vampires, and we are doing comparative mythologies on the fictional vampire myths, why would they get mad if I bring up factual vampire myths and cults?

Or the "whats your point" argument I had recently.

I dont remember what the conversation was but they asked me what was my point and I said nevermind I guess you did not get th epoint and they where like how can we get the point if you did not make one for us to get!

How can a comment not have a point?

Pokelover14
Snowy Owl

Joined: 14 Feb 2012
Age: 27
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Posts: 142

30 Apr 2012, 10:51 pm

The wearing pants so you can see there underwear

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Mirror21
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30 Apr 2012, 10:56 pm

Pokelover14 wrote:

The wearing pants so you can see there underwear

Weather this is an NT trait or not, it is distasteful.

League_Girl
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30 Apr 2012, 11:32 pm

Pokelover14 wrote:

The wearing pants so you can see there underwear

NTs are bothered by that too and so is my mother.

Tim_Tex
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01 May 2012, 1:20 am

Unwritten rules that they expect you to instinctively know without anyone having to tell you.

This is why I don't date NTs. That and my first girlfriend cheated on me.

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Moonhawk
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01 May 2012, 2:08 am

That they all just talk through each other when in a group :o I don't understand how they can understand each other at all.

cubedemon6073
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01 May 2012, 7:54 am

League_Girl wrote:

Pokelover14 wrote:

The wearing pants so you can see there underwear

NTs are bothered by that too and so is my mother.

What most folks do not know is the history behind this. This actually comes from prison and it signifies to the other prisoners that they are another prisoner's wife.

Edit: This is wrong.

http://www.snopes.com/risque/homosex/sagging.asp

raylit20
Blue Jay

Joined: 23 Mar 2012
Age: 35
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01 May 2012, 3:31 pm

cubedemon6073 wrote:

I can answer this. Because to some people it is not just about the trash. It is more about the emotions that surround it. This is difficult for me as well. What this person wants you to do is to volunteer to take the trash out. They want you to say "I have this handled." It makes them feel you are considering their feelings of consideration for them. It shows that you care about them. In the workplace it is called taking initiative. This person wants you to show that you care. This is an abstract concept. When you offer to take trash out for them it represents to them the idea that you care about them.

http://www.differencebetween.net/langua ... -thinking/

You,I and others on here think more in the concrete which means we would care more about the trash and that it was taken out by a certain day.

I had no idea that people worked this way. My parents would always just tell me explicitly what they wanted me to do as a kid, though that may be due to not getting the hints.

Very curious.

Anybody else bothered by how so many people are so quick to judge their friends, and always seem to be talking poorly of others?

"Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people."
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

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