Why the hell do people always think i'm a guy?! !

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OddFiction
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20 Jul 2012, 8:56 pm

In text it usually has to do with diction.
When I play online game, I can usually pick out the girls fromt he guys (not always) due to certain key words girls have a tendancy to use. Also girls tend to ask for help in a more pleading or negotiating fashion whereas men tend to inquire about things bluntly, speak out a bit more often, and deferr less when a decision is to be made.

And girls tend to appoloize more often when they misstep. And to use shorthand.
And (conversely to shorthand use) to present better (different?) grammar structure and spelling when they type.

So basically, if you are bold and brash and don't use the word "hun" at the end of every sentance you're a dude.
If your grammar is winding, and your questioning convoluted, you're a dame.

Just kidding. Sorta.



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20 Jul 2012, 8:58 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Funny story:

When I was 17, I was chatting to someone new online and she was 16. She told me her body measurements and then I told her mind and she went "BS" because she didn't think you could have 38 inch hips and 27 inch waist. Then when i mentioned my chest being a 36, she said "Oh you're a guy, you can be honest with me and tell me and I won't tell anyone" and I refuse to lie to her telling me I am a guy and she keeps calling me a liar and we both argue over body measurements and mine. Then she said "Your pants would fall off if you had that tiny waist and I said my hips are bigger than my waist so the pants stay on and she said "you're a liar." The argument ended after that because I had to go to bed. That incident had me upset for a few days and I couldn't stop thinking about it and talking about it and one of my other line friends told me "She was maybe a guy herself and she was messing with you." I felt better and thought 'yeah maybe she wasn't a girl and she was actually a guy." The term troll didn't exist in my vocabulary then for the internet. I didn't know what the term meant then.

But I look back and see what an idiot she was. Women's hip sizes are always bigger than their waist size. Could she have been a real idiot or just a troll? I will never know for sure. But I have not spoken to her since. I decided if anyone ever calls me a liar, they go on my block list and I never speak to them again. better than wasting my time arguing with them and trying to prove them wrong and try and convince them I am being honest. But sometimes I just laugh at their stupidity now than being all upset about it. Good coping mechanism.


lol. l wonder if it was a guy. That reminds me a lot of my story, l didn't get into my measurements but they said everything about just "seemed" male( l wasn't saying anything gross or predatory lol) and hounded me for not knowing my dress size.

l laugh when l look back at it but this was a site with all women, some of them l still talk to and a few still think l'm male. l actually did get upset about it first, because l thought they were joking with me and they weren't.

Weirdly enough l've spotted females easily(they say so later on) when they list their gender as neutral and a few times even male on other sites. The ones who go as male haven't even been trans, they actually change it back to female whenever they feel like it, l guess they just like to see the reactions but the same gender "vibes" people claim to get from me, l actually do get from other incognito women.


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Warsie
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20 Jul 2012, 11:56 pm

tjr1243 wrote:
I'm a woman and posted in another forum (not WP). Asked for advice. Mistakenly forgot to put my gender. I did not have to say a **** thing but everyone assumed i'm a male. Great, well-thought out advice to my relationship questions but it was a waste because they gave advice as if i were male so now i have to repost the same **** question over again and probably not get the same great people who advised the first time. Oh well :roll:


You type like you are a male. That is why. Often people conflate how happy/sad you are while typing to assuming you are female/male. There are programs which can analyze the gender of the typer often.

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Has this ever happened to you, where people think you're the opposite gender online?????


one of those program analyzers thought I was a girl based off my deviantart profile.


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21 Jul 2012, 12:01 am

I don't really see how this correlates with autism, and nor do I find it a big enough issue to complain about. Some people assume I'm male, especially when I participate in very male-oriented activities/ games online, but it doesn't exactly bother me. If anything, I'm glad, since a girl in a masculine environment seems to draw a lot of attention to herself.



edgewaters
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21 Jul 2012, 12:02 am

I always assume male unless I have some specific reason to think otherwise. I can't tell the genders apart online unless there's some sort of dead giveaway. So I just default to thinking male. I can sometimes tell after many posts, but definately not in a single post, unless there's something specific about it. I default to thinking male, I guess because I am.



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21 Jul 2012, 3:16 am

PixelPony wrote:
A big thanks to everyone who spoke up for transgender rights earlier. It means a lot that so many in this community jumped to the defense. I know it made me feel safer, more welcome, and more at ease.

Thanks so much.
Pixel


I apologize if what I said earlier was hurtful. I used the wrong wording and it came out in a way that made it sound like I would be violent towards or condone violence towards a transgender person. This is not what I meant to say. I added a clarification to it but realize that it can't fix any hurt I may have caused and I am sorry for any pain it may have caused you.


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22 Jul 2012, 8:46 pm

Pandora_Box wrote:
2. I didn't say I assumed everyone was male. I simply stated that I go by the standards that everyone sets.


And then defended that so-called standard when I pointed out that it was sexist, claimed that it wasn't sexist, and tried to use your website as proof that there aren't very many women on the internet.

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3. For me, Gender is not a part of gaming or forum writing. What does being female have anything to do with playing video games? Nothing. Gender doesn't matter in that situation. The object is to play the game, not tell everyone on the internet your gender.


But apparently it's only women who tell everyone on the internet their gender because everyone's assumed to be men. How you can not see how skewed this is amazes me.

Gender does end up mattering a lot. I don't know many women who want to be referred to with masculine pronouns, so it is certainly appropriate to say "No, I'm a woman" in response to those.



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22 Jul 2012, 8:47 pm

ShamelessGit wrote:
You may have a right to do so, but it's a useless right because 19/20 people are not going to respect it.


I am about 99.99 and 44/100ths percent sure that most transgender people are aware of what the world is like and don't need well-intentioned-yet-shitty advice from people who are engaging in the rhetorical equivalent of shouting "but 2+2=4" at advanced calculus students.



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24 Jul 2012, 12:20 pm

Verdandi wrote:
ShamelessGit wrote:
You may have a right to do so, but it's a useless right because 19/20 people are not going to respect it.


I am about 99.99 and 44/100ths percent sure that most transgender people are aware of what the world is like and don't need well-intentioned-yet-shitty advice from people who are engaging in the rhetorical equivalent of shouting "but 2+2=4" at advanced calculus students.


99.99 and .44 add up to more than 1. Are you sure that you are that sure?



renaeden
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25 Jul 2012, 4:39 am

I have been thought of as male here and on another site. I didn't think this would happen as my username, to me, seems female. But I don't mind being thought of as male.

My best friend is transgendered and I know she would much prefer to be viewed as female, though. It means a lot to her.



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25 Jul 2012, 4:59 am

ShamelessGit wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
ShamelessGit wrote:
You may have a right to do so, but it's a useless right because 19/20 people are not going to respect it.


I am about 99.99 and 44/100ths percent sure that most transgender people are aware of what the world is like and don't need well-intentioned-yet-shitty advice from people who are engaging in the rhetorical equivalent of shouting "but 2+2=4" at advanced calculus students.


99.99 and .44 add up to more than 1. Are you sure that you are that sure?


It's an idiom. In this case, it's also a quote from a melodrama that my drama class performed in high school. I like to quote things, so I do.

The point of the idiom is "I am as close to completely certain as I can possibly be."



SquarePeg_WP
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14 Jan 2018, 6:10 pm

I'm far more observant and unbiased than most people, though I'm not perfect - no one is. I see people's usernames, and I naturally take note of any indications of gender in their posts. I often use "he or she" if I really don't know the poster's gender. Yes, on many forums, and in some places in person, people use "they" or "their" to describe themselves if they're gender nonconforming or something like that. But overall, people do describe themselves as "he" or "she," so it's safe for me to stick with those two terms.

I'm often assumed to be male online, too, even if I have a very girly username. Most of my usernames are not very gender-specific, though. I get "dude" or "man" or "mate" pretty often. But the people who assume I'm a guy online are always guys themselves. Women are more likely to be aware that someone posting online can also be female.

What's worse is if you reveal you're female AND an ethnicity people don't like. THEN it gets MUCH worst than if you're female alone. Actually, if I'm simply an ethnicity people dislike, and they don't know my gender, it's bad enough. Women don't actually bond with women of certain ethnicities.

Online, you're also assumed to be white. I'm American, and I often assume posters are American unless they indicate otherwise. Even if they put their language, and it's little-known in the US, I'll look at their profile and posts, and if they seem American enough, I'll just think they're American with an ethnicity that speaks that language. Then I might find out they're in a different country and may have never been out of that country! All over the world, people, especially if they're online a lot, are into American movies, TV shows, pop culture, etc. People all over the world who are online a lot, and read/speak in English, often take on an American vibe, interests, and way of thinking because most English-language content online is American.

Online, this is the default person: Male, white, and American

I posted on a forum, on a thread that probably screams white male more than anything else, just because white males tend to be into that kind of thing, and are associated with it. (In that forum, you're able to hide your post history, so people couldn't figure out I'm female and a particular ethnicity.) I got much more upvotes than I usually do (because they assumed I was a white male) and MUCH nicer, more "gushing" sort of responses than I normally do. There was even that "you're one of us," sweet, embracing sort of tone that I'd never gotten before. You really LOVE appreciating white males' posts, and anything else, more than any other type of person.

Then later in the thread, I revealed I was female, and that ethnicity people dislike - and no more upvotes for my original post that got so many upvotes previously. And no more very sweet, amazed compliments for my original post. I had posted a few other things in that thread, and after I revealed I was female and non-white, responses to my other posts on that thread became MUCH more condescending, belittling, and aggressive.

And it's not just online - it's in person, too. As a white male, you're top of the heap. As an x (non-white) female, you're bottom of the barrel. In person, I'm constantly treated condescendingly, being x-splained in all ways, etc.

Also, my ethnicity is so disliked that stigma against it is much stronger than any stigma against females. That's why I usually think in terms of ethnicity rather than gender.



Last edited by SquarePeg_WP on 14 Jan 2018, 6:26 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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14 Jan 2018, 6:18 pm

I'm married to a black woman. I don't think like that.



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16 Jan 2018, 4:34 pm

Online I find that some people have a way of expressing themselves that make me think they are male, while others come off as sounding female. Those that sounds female, usually are (or at least claim to me, this is the internet after all), while sometimes the ones sounding male (claim they) are female.
And some people don't come off as being particularly one thing or the other.

I've been thought to be both male and female by different people, and I don't really care either way. So what? It doesn't harm me in any way. It just means that's how said person interpreted me.
I was once thought to be a guy on here by someone. I corrected it, not out of any sense of offense, but because I didn't want him to think I mislead him by not saying other wise, as I expected to see him around the forum.

Some people have even thought I was a boy IRL! :lol: I found it amusing and tried to play the part for fun.

I never use gender specific forum names. I name myself after something relevant or more often something I like.


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