One thing about Aspergers that sucks for me

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BanjoGirl
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18 Sep 2012, 7:17 pm

Prof_Pretorius wrote:

Multiplex wrote:

You cannot learn charisma. And learning social skills is useless for an Asperger.

In the polite way possible, I would like to say you are wrong on both counts. People DO learn charisma, do you think all politicians are born with it? And learning social skills is quite useful for ASpies and NTs.

You are wrong.

As Nessa has said before, you can't learn charisma. Charisma is instinctive and innate, like "having charm". It isn't something exclusively related to personality; your talent, appaerance and cultural background are important too.

Oh, and very few politicians have real charisma.

Which Jedi is waving me? A Yoda fan I am.

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Prof_Pretorius
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18 Sep 2012, 7:17 pm

nessa238 wrote:

Prof_Pretorius wrote:

nessa238 wrote:

Prof_Pretorius wrote:

To be "charismatic" doesn't equal being an NT. To my way of thinking (there's a loaded gun of a phrase) it means being pleasant enough that people enjoy chatting with you, being with you.

I'm not so sure

I see charisma as a bit more impressive than that

Charisma means you can hold an audience of people spellbound not just be good at pleasant chats

For example Clint Eastwood oozes charisma without even having to speak

I can't think of the word right now, but that ability to hold a crowd's attention goes far beyond charisma. it's more along the lines of people wanting to chat with you when you walk into a room.

Magnetism?

Perhaps "spellbinding."

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nessa238
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18 Sep 2012, 7:19 pm

BanjoGirl wrote:

Prof_Pretorius wrote:

Multiplex wrote:

You cannot learn charisma. And learning social skills is useless for an Asperger.

I agree

Charisma is innate

I've rarely seen a politician with it either

BanjoGirl
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18 Sep 2012, 7:21 pm

Yeah, Clint Eastwood has it.

Alan Rickman has it too (what a voice )

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Prof_Pretorius
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18 Sep 2012, 7:21 pm

It's a quality often attributed to politicians. I've only ever met a couple, so I'm not able to judge. But it's one of those over used words.

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nessa238
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18 Sep 2012, 7:22 pm

BanjoGirl wrote:

Yeah, Clint Eastwood has it.

Alan Rickman has it too (what a voice

)

I love him in 'Truly, Madly, Deeply'

nessa238
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18 Sep 2012, 7:23 pm

Prof_Pretorius wrote:

It's a quality often attributed to politicians. I've only ever met a couple, so I'm not able to judge. But it's one of those over used words.

Definitely

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18 Sep 2012, 7:24 pm

nessa238 wrote:

BanjoGirl wrote:

Yeah, Clint Eastwood has it.

Alan Rickman has it too (what a voice

)

I love him in 'Truly, Madly, Deeply'

Alan Rickman? I see him more as a very talented actor than charismatic.

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nessa238
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18 Sep 2012, 7:26 pm

Prof_Pretorius wrote:

nessa238 wrote:

BanjoGirl wrote:

Yeah, Clint Eastwood has it.

Alan Rickman has it too (what a voice

)

I love him in 'Truly, Madly, Deeply'

Alan Rickman? I see him more as a very talented actor than charismatic.

It's evidently a subjective thing

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18 Sep 2012, 7:27 pm

nessa238 wrote:

Prof_Pretorius wrote:

nessa238 wrote:

BanjoGirl wrote:

Yeah, Clint Eastwood has it.

Alan Rickman has it too (what a voice

)

I love him in 'Truly, Madly, Deeply'

Alan Rickman? I see him more as a very talented actor than charismatic.

It's evidently a subjective thing

Perhaps a male/female thing.

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Who_Am_I
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18 Sep 2012, 7:28 pm

nessa238 wrote:

Who_Am_I wrote:

I wouldn't want to associate with someone who referred to me as a "low level person" or an "ape".

I get what he means totally. I've often equated NT's to chimps myself.
We are more like orang-utans.

I don't think I've heard that analogy before. In what way/s are we like orangutans?

To answer the OP, if I had to pick one trait that sucks for me right now, it would be trouble with transitions. I can't even find any tips to help with it because everything I find presumes that I'm the parent of a 3-year-old who doesn't like transitions.

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nessa238
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18 Sep 2012, 7:32 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:

nessa238 wrote:

Who_Am_I wrote:

I wouldn't want to associate with someone who referred to me as a "low level person" or an "ape".

I get what he means totally. I've often equated NT's to chimps myself.
We are more like orang-utans.

Chimps live in social groups that are very hierarchical and can be very aggressive, just like NTs

Orang-utans tend to live solitary lives, not in groups, and as a result they are not aggressive in fact they come across as the opposite ie slow and vulnerable

I think there are a lot of parallels with autistic people ie we spend a lot of time on our own ie not in groups and we are generally placid/not aggressive and vulnerable

It made me think that perhaps it's the solitary lifestyle of the orang-utan; not living in a pack that gives them this vulnerable aspect, like us

Similar thing can be seen in Pandas - they have a sort of slow-moving placid vulnerability thing
and they tend to live most of their lives on their own

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18 Sep 2012, 7:35 pm

Prof_Pretorius wrote:

Surfman wrote:

Excessive talking. STFU

You or this thread ???

one thing i hate about aspergers....

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18 Sep 2012, 7:39 pm

I'll be elated to be proven wrong, but in the meantime, this is what I believe:

If charisma could be learned, it'd be because someone is able to teach it.

And if that someone existed, they'd be so successful and famous that we would've heard of them and there'd be a waiting line of years to join their courses, not to mention that person would be a billionaire.

Because if there's one thing every human is willing to pay for, it's having influence over others. That's why advertising works at getting your money - they promise you the illusion of influence over others if you just use this deodorant or ride that motorcycle.

Charisma is personality, and as such it has a strong inborn component, and a strong childhood formation component. If you're not awing people at, say, your twenties, you won't start awing them after taking a course.

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18 Sep 2012, 7:40 pm

Moondust wrote:

Well said! I totally agree

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18 Sep 2012, 7:49 pm

Charisma exists in the solar plexis, thats why aspies need to improve their gut function

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