Aspies, do you lack empathy?

Post Reply New Topic

Cats are cool because you never know what kind of personality you're gonna get when you adopt a cat. Some are outgoing and are vocal and follow guests around the house, then some are shy and skittish, kind of like us Aspies. I've had experience with both.

I have 4 cats. One is very haughty and pretentious, always letting us know she's superior. One is a 'fraidy cat. He's afraid of everything and loves to eat and be cuddled. One is the proverbial curious cat. He always has to investigate things. And the other one is a masochist. He was abused and neglected as a kitten. He's awfully skittish. I also had a cat who was really stupid, but he lives with a friend now.

Well... I don't know if I'm necessarily disconnected, I just lack empathy.

I like some animals, I just wouldn't say I empathize with them or understand them instinctively, any more so than I do people.

Exactly the same feeling? Are you sure?

Not even NTs would expect that from themselves or each other.

I feel absolutely horrible when children are abused. I just can't understand why people do it and where I live there is way too much of it.
People where I live rationalize their horrible behaviour toward children and some of them treat their animals better than their own kids. That type of mentality I cannot empathize with.

Yeah, I lack empathy.

I'm still confused with empathy vs sympathy. Of course I get upset when someone close has died or when abuse or anything else is involved. What I have trouble with is expressing it in a way that is deem socially appropriate. Sometimes I am unable to cry but have those feelings.

Other times, I can't cue in on people's emotions like if my sister came home upset about something without saying anything. If it is noticable, I don't ask because I assume she wouldn't want to explain or didn't want anyone to know. Yet I notice ppl NT/not do the exact opposite. So this confuses me in tems of empathy and sympathy.

I can have empathy too, but for those who are cruel, never learn a lesson, or destructive, I have none. If I feel that someone deserves it, then I am certainly able to feel it. it also doesn't matter if it's man or beast.

I feel 'empathy' fully and completly, I feel it later then other people.

It's not so much a lack of empathy as not reacting to the same things as some people. For example, in an office, when somebody leaves, I'm the only one not crying. This has happened so many times. But she's only going to work a block away, we've got all her phone numbers, what's to cry about? But I seem to lack empathy on occasions like that.

I can never do these mass hysteria things either - like if a musician has a huge audience of people going nuts cheering, it doesn't make the slightest difference to my appreciation of the music. And I think if we could read minds, we'd find a lot of the participants were faking it just to keep up appearances, like forced laughter. I'd like to see a new term - trumpathy - meaning a feigned, overblown display of empathy. Mainstream society itself abounds with hypocrisy and deceit.

The German word is Schadenfreude & the English translation is malicious-joy; malicious glee; gloating; gloating joy; gloat. Sorry, I had to look this up! (German was one of my obsessions many years ago.) I tried looking up the above term & it gave me this spelling.


Yes, you are absolutely right about this. I live in Germany, so I´m also quite familiar with the language. I meant to mention this in my post too, but forgot.

I empathsize with everything but humans.

I believe the charge that Aspies lack empathy is yet another attempt to dehumanize those with a simple difference.

We simply do not respond in the manner NT's would prefer us to; so they conclude we lack concern for our fellow man. Like saying a deaf person "just isn't listening". Learn sign language, jackass.

Half the world's population lacks proper food, shelter and medical care. People are dying because they live on top of oil deposits.

Lack of empathy is a human, not an autistic problem.

This just proves how serious and universal "lacking empathy" is. I think this area is far understudied.
Why do so many not care.
If you look at the world and it's problems, it is soooo obvious that most people do not care. They just don't care and they are very selfish. What disorder is this? We live in a world full of selfish, uncaring, hateful people.
The diagnostic criteria "lacks empathy" for Asperger's is very confusing.
Keep in mind it's also criteria for other disorders, especially those of the personality and no one knows how far reaching they are, how many have them. Who knows, the majority of humanity can have personalities that "lack empathy". As for AS, the label confuses people. Thinking in terms of "spectrum" helps.

I just wikied Empathy again because I confuse it with sympathy on a regular basis.
Empathy means understanding the feelings of another.
Consider this: Is lacking empathy always bad? It has a negative connotation because FBI profilers use the term "lacking empathy" when describing the profiles of those who seem predestined to commit certain crimes, like murder.
I question that. Do the people who fit these profiles really lack empathy? Or can they feel empathy, push it aside by using a rationalization, and continue what they are doing anyway?
It's far too vague.
Also, is lacking empathy, in itself, inherently bad? I don't think it always is. If someone is abusive should I share empathy with them?
Maybe this explains why there is so much tragedy in the world, too many people sharing too much empathy with abusive people?
Ask yourselves: Is lacking empathy so terrible?

I think compassion fatigue is very understandable. Nobody can carry the world's troubles on just one pair of shoulders. The other thing is that I think some people actually take on the bad emotions (usually sorrow) because they feel they're being unkind if they don't "really feel" for the sufferer. Though it's hard for a sad person if they've just spilled their guts to somebody who shortly afterwards acts in a very carefree way right in front of them. It doesn't necessarily mean they don't care, but sad people can be very sensitive to any sign of callousness. I hate the guilt-driven thing where people say you should care, and I think there's too many accusations of hard-heartedness - we've all got our limits. Most people seem to gravitate towards cheerful people and barely notice the quiet and sorrowful ones. I'm more likely to be the other way around, I don't know how healthy that is, but I just seem to have an eye for sorrow.

But the skill and practice of being able to know the emotions of others all the time, it must be good to have that, and if somebody simply doesn't care about others, they're not really living the full spectrum of life.