SeriousGirl wrote:
Self Esteem: "troubled youths," what we once called juvenile delinquents, have very high self-esteem. Aspies, as a group, have very low self-esteem and are often the most caring. What does that say about self-esteem being related to anything?
It seems to be a different kind of caring from what I've seen, anyway. I'm starting to notice something interesting...I know Aspies are incredibly caring, selfless folks, generous to a fault... but I don't in the least bit feel it from my Aspie friends. Worst of all is from my partner...I know he cares, but I HAVE to assume and know it because he's pretty much emotionally screwed. He's never even said 'I love you', as basic as it is to simply say. 'You mean a lot to me' is as close as it's gotten
It's a more functional sort of caring I think, looking from the outside. We NTs find it extremely difficult to detect at all. The emotions are all off as is their control from what I've seen IRL.
That test actually processes all of that. Along with self-esteem it's looking at emotional management, how you deal with emotions overall and in certain circumstances. Self-punishment is first and foremost a lack of self-esteem, but a bit of an emotional dysfunction. How you deal with less-than-positive situations...not just self-esteem but again, emotional management.
I think I managed to get the figures I did in this test because I've knocked out a lot of the management issues I had. I used to get flustered, beat myself up a lot. My current job has been a nightmare and a learning experience; nowadays when there's a major disaster (eg: an advertiser in our publication wanting a change to their ad or a court battle WHILE IT'S ON THE PRESS, and the finger being pointed at me because I didn't think to make a phone call to let them know I'd sent them an email proof of their artwork) I've learned to be cool under fire, handle the situation, dissipate the anger and frustration, and save the emo moments for later.
It all starts from the inside...just learning to process and control things without hiding emotions completely; refining them into a more useful form for the benefit of yourself and ultimately others too