Kids on the spectrum don't belong in mainstream school

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I think I lost my ability to feel happiness in Grade 5. I remember it felt like something was being ground down in my mind. I've never trusted the world since.

I'm glad I went to a regular school and mainstreamed with two blocks in the Resource Room. I've learned that not everybody is going to be my friend. Another thing I've learned is that you can't always get what you want. I've also learned to slowly build up my self confidence. I've also learned that since I hid too much of myself during my high school, that if I'm going to be out in public I want the world to see me as truly I am now in all of my Kinks Fan Mod glory. I've also learned to fight for what I want. Most of all, I've learned to expect that teenagers and uneducated adults are going to be ignorant towards me and my differences and to ignore the ignorant noises they make as they walk past my apartment. They will get in trouble by the other people in my building, anyways.

I figure that if I was able to survive high school in the 90s, I can deal with everything I face from day to day. Having said that, I'm still a sensitive brown-eyed Sweet Pea.

For me, the best thing would have been home school, learn at my own pace, learn more than in school. Even my education plan wasn't ideal, since I still had to go to school, and I didn't like going to school. I would have preferred to do what I did at school at home, and I would have had more time to do more things too. How great it would have been if I hadn't had to go to school. The most waste of time was high school, I could have learned so much more without going to school.

Would you have done any better if people had been nice to you for years, and then, suddenly, when you left, you discovered what they were actually like?
I don't know about you, but the shock of that would have just about killed me.

I was "lucky" - I found places to "hide" so I could minimize mixing. In 9th grade, it was the computer lab. In other grades, it was the library.

I agree with Who_Am_I, it was good practice for the real world.

I don't care what people think of me, just as long as they keep it to themselves; constantly having someone calling you names in Math class really starts to wear you down (and you've already beaten said person up so there's nothing else you can do apart from ruining your own life more), and then having others in other classes doing the same, teachers and students in others, and so on and so on.

If they just spoke it all in their minds to me, then no, I wouldn't have cared. Knowing what they thought of me wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest. It's not like I liked them, though I didn't constantly drone it on to them about it.

I am intrigued by this notion one needs to go to mainstream school and be bullied to learn that everyone won't like you.

What sort of sheltered childhood did y'all lead?

Yes.

I have no idea how "not being liked" and "bullied" are seen as similar.

Some kids in preschool didn't like me and some did; normal
Some kids in primary (elementary) school didn't like me and some did; normal

Kids in high school physically and verbally abused me relentlessly; not normal.

Eh, I'm kind of 50/50 on this one. One the one hand, being in a public school environment helped me learn some social skills and even make a few friends along the way. On the other hand, I never really enjoyed or saw the point of the curriculum, I hated being bullied, I hated seeing how much "cooler" the other kids were compared to me, and a lot of the teachers just didn't seem to understand me, despite the fact that I was clearly labeled a "special ed" student. Of course, for many years I also hated my status as a "special ed" student, as I felt that the staff and teachers treated me unfairly, and scrutinized me more than the other students.

Needless to say, I never finished high school, mainly because of a mental health crisis I was going through during my last year, but also because I was overall just sick of the whole structure of it, with all the rules and the curriculum and the social hierarchies. The way I see school, it's indoctrination disguised as education; it's trying to get kids used to how the "working world" works, though of course, much like I have difficulties now conforming to a normal work schedule, I had difficulties conforming to school back then.

Not what I said.

What I ACTUALLY said

1. It's useful to have some knowledge of how to negotiate social hierarchies before being thrust into adult life.

2. The bullying in high school tends to be nastier than any bullying that goes on afterwards, so it makes later social environments seem comparatively pleasant.

I said nothing about "not everyone will like you "; please don't trivialise my words like that. What I said was "people will obstruct you ".


I am well aware of the difference between bullying and not being liked. I was bullied right from preschool until almost the end of high school.

Bullying continues outside of school in adult life; people are just more subtle at it and better at maintaining a facade of friendliness.

School was pure hell for me too. I was bullied mercilessly and constantly in elementary and middle school. Things got better by the middle of high school when people generally just ignored me. Even in kindergarten girls would follow me around taunting "We hate *daydreamer84*".Middle school was the worst. I still can't stand walking or being driven by my old middle school. I feel a sense of impending doom. I would have given anything to be home schooled.

Also, being the school pariah and punching bag for so many years did not stop me from experiencing work-place bullying or people obstructing me as an adult. I experienced terrible workplace bullying and was still too thick to catch-on to what was happening for quite awhile. It WAS more subtle than in school and I didn't understand it.

Obviously it doesn't STOP workplace bullying. It just makes it less likely to come as a terrible shock.

I would have loved to be homeschooled or to have a special ASD school as a child. I'd also love a special ASD retreat as an adult, but, well ...

I stuck with my first job for over 7 years and never even clued into that I WAS being bullied. Don't get me wrong: the vast majority of my coworkers liked me and took right to me and loved my cheerful attitude (at times ) but the managers loved to lie to me about how overpaid I was, yell and swear at me just because they could and pawn all the s*** onto me. Since I was never physically struck or directly made fun of, I didn't even catch on. After leaving that job I realize not only was I GROSSLY underpaid but I was used as a scapegoat for people to rip off the company by practically stealing and blaming it on me and all my (very) good ideas that were laughed at were later stolen from me by a "brilliant" manager. Overall it was a good job but I was totally blind to how I was being taken advantage of.

After what I experienced in school this was like heaven! If any adults tried what these kids did, literally half the class would have spent time behind bars! For the person who compared not being liked to being bullied, I can tell you it would have been heaven if I was just generally left alone like I was an elementary school. When people go out of their way to make you as miserable as possible that's a nightmare from which you cannot escape.

In addition to Aspergers that was never officially diaongosed I have dyslexia & a rare low vision disorder that wasn't diagnosed till my senior year of high-school; I have some colorblindness, light sensitivity & extremely nearsighted(borderline legally blind without glasses & glasses don't help my distance vision a whole lot). I went to public school till 5th grade & then I went to a Catholic school till middle of 6th till my parents saw an article in the paper about a school for dyslexia which I had been diagnosed with in kindergarten along with ADHD. Before I went to that school I was bullied aLOT & had lots of school problems. I got in trouble for being a smart-alec by answering rhetorical questions. I got in trouble for disrupting the class by not keeping still due to people bulling me o, anxiety, sensory overload issues ect. Got in trouble for making noises or talking to myself. I was physically bullied at recess & when the duty teacher actually noticed & stepped in the other kids stuck together & said how I started it & the teacher actually bought it because I had a history of behavior problems & known to be a bully despite the fact that it made no sense why one scrawny kid with glasses would try to start a fight with a group. I was accused of being a tattletale by the teacher when I complained about other kids being mean to me because the teacher interpreted it as them joking or playing but it was interpreted as me being a bully when I reacted negatively towards the other kids because of it or when I tried to play with them the way they did with me. There's lots of other issues I had too.

When I started going to that dyslexic school I kept to myself & was described by my teachers & principle as a model student but quiet & nervous which was probably due to all the issues I had in school before. I gradually got less nervous & more talkative & social but it was a slow process but improved each year. I could only go there till 9th grade thou because they didn't do high-school I went to a Catholic high-school after. I did alot better there than the Catholic school I was in for 5th & 1st half of 6th & the public school I had before but I had problems learning with half the mandatory classes which cuased me to have LOTs of fights at home with my parents because they were sacrificing things so they could afford my tuition for me to go there & not put forth effort despite the fact I was trying as hard as I could but didn't study at home because I did not learn that way & put off doing my homework because I needed time to myself to wind down when I got home from trying so hard at school. I had a resource class for one period each year due to my dyslexia that helped me out with extra time for tests or homework.

I'm NOT saying all kids on the spectrum don't belong in mainstream school or cant cut it there but I know I would of done aLOT better if I had the rite learning environment for me & think the same is true for lots of kids with physical disabilities, learning disorders or developmental disorders like AS but not all need special accommodations. I think if I had everything diagnosed before I started school(Aspergers, low vision in addition to the dyslexia & ADHD) & was started school today(like if I was born 35/30 years latter, I'm 31 now btw) I could of probably qualified for some kind of special assistance like a private tutor with specialized training but there really isn't much point in speculating how things would be different for me. The only thing I new for sure when I graduated high-school was that I did NOT want to go to college due to all my school issues. Yeah I could of had some accommodations but don't think I could of cut it partly because I know I didn't get all the school knowledge for various courses I'd need to have a background understanding of going in to keep up. I never regretted not going to college for a second but I think maybe if I had everything diaognosed & was in the rite learning environment when I started school till I turned 18; I might would of been aware of some strengths, felt I could handle college better, & handle & want to have a job that requires a degree. But oh well, I still don't regret not going to college with everything the way it really was for me.

I'm currently in public High School right now and can honestly say I'm in pure hell. Everyday is filled with panic attacks, meltdowns, and I can barely handle it much longer. For me, online schooling would be the better option, but my parents/family refuse and think I'm overreacting.