wp getting annoying

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Well, there's worse communities than WP, soon enough time on Tumblr and you could find things very different.

Never let Autism get in the way of what you want. Always try, even try again until all lines of possibilities has been sought. I couldn't achieve what I have already otherwise.

I don't see any complaining here though...

I have a pet peeve about people who post about not posting about other people's pet peeves!

It does get annoying here at times. I used to get in a number of arguments with people so I had to take time off, came back and now when I sense I may be approaching another flame war I will just leave the conversation, or ignore it and keep posting.
It's very repetitive too but it's a very big forum without any rules about using the search function to search a topic before you post about it, and I've just sort of let it go.

As it is an autism forum and we're known to have a theory of mind deficit and problems regulating emotions and problems even empathizing with people at times (being too blunt, not even picking up on another's emotions or not taking care to use the right words which will not offend) so I'm more lenient here than I am on any other type of forum.

I'm having difficulty not taking no. 2 the wrong way. Sometimes people just need somewhere to vent. I hope I don't come across that way. I try to see things from another point of view and give people chances, but it can all get a bit much for me sometimes. I don't have enough social awareness to deal with certain social dramas and just turn off to save myself the emotional turmoil.
It also sounds like you are just mocking those people and that's not going to reach any kind of solution. I'm all about solutions and problem solving etc.

Sometimes the opinions on this site make cringe and I need to take a lot of time away from it. It's not just about what you said but people really not thinking about how their words affect people. Some of them aren't aware and some of them don't even care. I'm thankful that I can step away from this place and talk to people who may not completely understand my issues but at least we're polite to each other. I understand it takes a lot of social development to get that way as I have come really far in my social development that I only really need WP when I feel people I know are misunderstanding me and that makes me feel lonely. I can just ignore the offensive comments and meaningless squabbles that happen here from time to time.

Before I joined this place I knew about the bad rep WP had in the autistic community, so I was prepared. And back then it was a really hostile place to be. It's either calmed down or I'm not here long enough to even realise if it's still the same.

Was that sarcasm? Was it meant nicely, or are you being mean to me? Because I don't know.

Like I said, all these restrictions make me scared to post anything at all. Which is probably for the best, but I had considered WP to be pretty much the only place where I can try to socialize at all, with people who might forgive me for being terrible at it. But I'm starting to think that's not the case. Ah well.

great examples of topics not overused. Yet.

No, I was teasing you! I thought all the p's sounded funny. You shouldn't let anybody keep you from posting anything (well, that's my opinion).

I hope some examples help clarify point 2, for instance, attitudes of aspies that expect acceptance without being accepting, and those that expect opportunities without making any effort.
unfortunately just today I read a few posts like that.
I was already regretting having created this thread because of the misunderstandings and some users thinking I was insensitive (it's actually the opposite) and I was getting nervous and sad. But now some people understood what I meant and wrote very inspiring replies and for that I thank you.

This was never my philosiphy. My goal is to become normal. Every year I get better by getting to know myself better and learning how to react to the world as one is expected to. I realize it may be easier for me than others who are higher on the spectrum but I feel everyone here wants to get better.
Asking for understanding for me is like asking for a tree to give up it's bark. It just ain't gonna happen. I come here for clarifacation that there are others like me and we all have to learn to deal with life and the NTs whether we like it or not.

Your post wasn't the prompt for my responses - it was other posts by other people.

I want to be able to help everyone but that's not up to me. People have to do effort themselves to get what they want and they have to realize that arrogant, self-defeating or self-pitting attitude is not going to get them anywhere.
it sounded like a ranting or mocking but because I was annoyed and being emotional.

I agree.
Wonder, if ever anyone would ever go to a forum for people with Down-Syndrome to tell people there or their parents that they are playing the "Down-Syndrome card" and are harmful to humanity as I could not think of any reason why. Or in a forum for blind people, I know a woman with retinitis pigmentosa (tunnel vision leading to blindness)
Why telling her she is harmful to humanity because of her impairment or to adapt to walk outside without a cane.
Her eyes work different than "normal eyes" leading to clinically significant impairment aka disability.
Autistic brains work different than "normal brains" leading to clinically significant impairment aka disability.
Why is it so difficult to grasp for some people, that a brain can be impaired just like any other part of the body?
As autism is still classified as an pervasive developmental disorder with clinically significant impairment aka disability.

better=normal?

Last edited by Sweetleaf on 08 Mar 2014, 9:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I see some people mentioning ableism, though I haven't recognized any discrimination against disabled persons on this forum. Can someone please elaborate on this?

Last edited by Norny on 08 Mar 2014, 9:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I agree with pretty much everything here. It's just that you wouldn't typically say the same about, say, suicide. Let's say I reword your first paragraph slightly:

"People who have depression serious enough to lead to suicide are not going to be able to change just because you give them positive reinforcement. Depression on that level is a physical and mental illness. They need medical attention, and they will most likely need to be in a rehab program to overcome the depression."

Same thing applies, right? Thing is, I'm not going to give a drunk a drink any more than I'm going to hand someone on suicide watch a gun. And if someone has access to a gun, I'm certainly not going to hand them a bullet. And if someone is using money in such a way to hurt themselves through self-destructive behavior, I'm certainly not going to give it to them.

+5
I was thinking the same thing.
Autistic people are expected to come out of their comfort zone and learn to be like non-autistic people even though it is well known now that it is physical brain differences that makes the autistic experience different from normal.
It can be painful to try to adapt oneself to normal expectations.
A lot of the depression and anxiety I see on this site is because of this way of thinking.
It is very unfair to impose that line of thinking on people.
Nobody tries to force a blind person to see.
Autism should be accepted instead of trying to turn autistic people into normal people.
Autistic people have areas of strength and can contribute a lot to society without having to pretend to not be autistic.
Acceptance, accommodations, and understanding are needed.

Ah, thanks for clarifying. Yes I definitely need to work on my people-pleasing problem (oh dear there's a bunch of p's again!) Ironically, despite the title of this thread, it seems the healthiest approach is to not worry about annoying people whose viewpoints and preferences might be different than mine. It's a logical impossibility to please everyone, so the fact that some people will get annoyed or offended is inescapable.

But on the other hand, I do seem to have a talent for making social blunders – so at some level I do need to try to be perceptive, and change my behavior based on other people's annoyance level. Gah, I don't know... It's this nerve-wracking balancing act, and I have no way to know if I'm succeeding or failing at it!