Post-assessment thoughts (finally got the result today).

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In case anyone is interested, I have an update on the above. I met with my therapist earlier this week. I hadn?t seen her in several weeks, as she was on vacation.

In any event, I described my participation in the ASD research study and shared with her the results from the eye tracking tests. She was quite interested in learning about the methodology and results. We must have spent 30 minutes talking about this.

Then, came the question (about ?how I felt about the results?). As usual, I hemmed and hawed. Ultimately, I said something to the effect, ?well, I suppose we no longer need to talk about that second opinion?. She seemed quite OK with that. The only issue now, is that I don?t know what to discuss next. I?ll probably have to start a new thread entitled, ?When is it time to Quit Therapy?.

Well...there's always the chance that some people on the spectrum work at focusing on the eyes and thus are misdiagnosed and some, once they find out that they fall on the spectrum, commit to confirmation bias and convince themselves that it's part of who they are so then consciously start avoiding eyes-gazing, which turns to their norm, which screws up the testing....mwahahaha (just being devil's advocate, not expecting to be taking too seriously. It's real cool you got to be part of that study though!)

Believe me, the thought crossed my mind. I even mentioned this as a possibility to the therapist when we first discussed the diagnostic criteria many months ago.


The mwahahaha is hilarious.

Of course, after dx, one becomes aware of many aspects of behavior.
I experienced more difficulty with eye contact as well, and thought, that I was acting, until I remembered the times, when therapists have made a note of it and I explained, that I have to look away, when I think.
Behaviors can be intensified in a period of new awareness, but they will go back to normal afterwards.

I wondered whether this might be the case . It's so nice to be able to rely on other people being able to see the inherent complexity of certain situations. It's like the AS version of social intuition, but reason-based (or whatever it is that one considers systemizing quotient to be measuring (see, it happened again )).

One thing after diagnosis is to not put more limitations on yourself because you have ASD.
Don't focus on the minutia of your ASD issues and what you think you are not able to do, as that may cause you to disable yourself in the long-term.
I also wouldn't take on the identity of disability either, as some people do after diagnosis.

What do you mean?

Some people build an identity for themselves as "I am a disabled person" after ASD diagnosis, when they wouldn't have considered themselves disabled before.
Then, this top-down influence drives all subsequent processing of details in daily life, such that common problems like clumsiness and procrastination are all caused by the disabilities of ASD, and it seems like the person has less and less functioning, when they were able to function at a higher level before diagnosis.
The worst thing is when they call it regression, but it is more like they have disabled themselves.
Recognizing that you have impairments is fine and getting help for impairments is good, but taking on a strong identity of disability and allowing that to drive one's life is not good, in my opinion.

I would think that before and after diagnosis you are still the same person so however you identify in that regard won't change.

In some ways I do consider myself disabled. Not in all ways but definitely in some. I don't use it to make excuses for myself but if I am truly and genuinely impaired in a function that is required for daily normal functioning and it makes me less able to function in that way in a normal fashion than I consider myself disabled in that way. For example, my sensitivities to sound make it so that I can't function like a normal person. If I don't wear sound insulating protection, I have to keep my fingers in my ears. I can't function and do regular day to day things with my fingers constantly in my ears. Does that make me disabled like a person in a wheel chair, not really. Does it make me like a person who is legally blind or deaf and needs a physical aid to help him get around or function? It would be more like that. And this is just one example of something that I need extra help with.

Now some people might say having to wear sound protection does not make one disabled. They can say that if they want to but my thought on it is, in that same breath, you therefore cannot say that a deaf person is disabled. Legally, a deaf person is considered disabled and is entitled to whatever help he or she needs to function with that disability. If you want to know the criteria of degree of deafness one must meet to be considered disabled, here is the link. a family with a deaf or blind child is legally allowed to put a sign on their street warning motorists to drive slowly because they have a deaf or blind child. A person with an Autistic child is not allowed to put any kind of sign warning motorists to slow down or asking then to turn down their stereos.

http://www.disabilitysecrets.com/resour ... ty-grants-

So for me, the way I see it is not that I am trying to use disability some kind of way to get help I don't deserve. But technically, if I am so impaired that I truly and literally cannot function in a productive way without some kind of assistance, I need to be able to have access to whatever assistance I need in order to function. And if that means hearing protection devices or an IEP which if I had had I might have actually been able to get my degree rather than having to drop out of school, or whatever accommodations could have been made for me in the work place so that I could have held the jobs I had, than I would like to be considered a candidate to have those things. I don't view disability as only being allowed if you are severely disabled, I view it as allowed if your condition keeps you from performing in a normal manner and you need special assistance to be able to perform that way.

I have had jobs where I would not have been allowed to wear ear defenders. I have had jobs where I was fired because my large motor skills made me slower than others. I have had jobs where I was fired because I was not able to communicate as clearly as others. I was fired from a job because the heat of the bagel toaster hurt my eyes and since no one else could understand that they figured I was trying to make excuses for not wanting to toast the bagels. These sensitivities and issues either made me less abled or even unable to function in normal situations. If I can't say that I am disabled in these ways, I can't get any help with these kinds of things. I am therefore expected to just do what everyone else is able to do and if I try to ask for help with them or say that I am having significant trouble with them, I am usually not believed or either told to just deal with it or I get fired.

So yes, I consider myself to be disabled in some ways and I don't think there is anything wrong with that if you need it. If I were severely and obviously disabled, no one would question it and no one would argue against it. The only reason they do is because they can't see it and they don't experience the difficulties I experience. And since they have no concept or understanding of how these things can really severely affect me, they just think I am faking it to make excuses to get something they think I don't need or deserve.

Actually it was not until very recently that my husband saw for the first time how severely sounds can affect me after I collapsed from the music coming from a stereo and two days after the fact we almost had to call an ambulance because I had been so affected I collapsed again and did not come to until three hours later.

So as far as considering yourself disabled, if you need it, you need it but your diagnose should not change that. If you needed it before you still do. If you did not need it before you probably don't need it now.

Like Btbnnyr so eggscellently stated verry berry merry well, however you thought of yourself before is probably how you should think of yourself after. What the diagnosis has done is given you a paper validation that can be used for legal purposes and a validation for your peace of mind and to get access to some services that could help you. It has explained things to you and helped you understand yourself. But if you considered yourself disabled in ways before that has not changed. And if you did not consider yourself disabled, that has not changed either.

These are my areas of impairment, approved by disability:
-communication (though I have intakt speech-ability, but often mutism in unfamiliar situations or when in overload) and social contact
-maintenance of place I am living in and household chores
-evaluating and avoiding danger

mildler impaired:
-transportation (though I cannot drive a car and am prone to overload in public transport, but no musculosceletal impairment)
-being able to eat independantly
-being able to wash and dress independantly

The degree of impairment got assessed to be 66% in comparison to non-impaired people.
Most impairment is caused by sensory processing issues, problems with theory of mind (people are unpredictable for me resulting in a high vulnerability to get abused or bullied eg. in a working space), processing differences, executive functioning problems, communication.

These impairments also existed pre-diagnosis, they were in fact part the reason to initiate a diagnostic process in the first place (which was in the beginning not even directed on ASD, it was directed on finding a cause for these impairments and other oddities-nos).
What changed after diagnosis is that I got quite obsessed with autism and spend now much more time at pc, before I hardly spend time at pc.

Hey Spectacles - You totally lost me. Can you clarify?

I am completely lost too. Spectacles can you rephrase that for me as if you were saying it to a 5 year old? Yeah, sometimes I need that. Thanks.

Thank you, btbnnyr and skibum for explaining. I don't know about others but I'm personally trying to look at the diagnosis as an explanation for why things are the way they are and why I function the way I do (example: just yesterday the psychologist I've been seeing for depression etc. told me that AS might very well explain why I've been depressed for so long without it getting any better). To me I'm still the person I was before I got diagnosed but now I know (well, "know", seeing as I still haven't accepted the diagnosis and I'm still doubting) why some things are so incredibly difficult for me.

Also, I'd like to ask you people about something I've been thinking about for a few days. In the beginning of this thread I shared which diagnostic criteria I meet and I basically meet enough of them to get a diagnosis but I don't meet all of them.

Questions:

1. Do most people with AS meet all of the criteria?
2. Does the fact that I don't meet every single one of them mean my AS is "milder", that my diagnosis is less correct and that I should function better than people who meet all of them?

Sorry if these are stupid questions. I'm just trying to understand.

Which criteria?
I guess you diagnosis was based both on diagnostic manual criteria and ados testing and parent interview?

These are not stupid questions. While I am fairly certain that I don?t meet all of the criteria, I am not 100% certain which of the criteria I do meet.

For what it?s worth, the Clinical Psychologist (who diagnosed me) told me that, for Aspergers, ?on a continuum of mild to severe, I would say you are moderate?.

Regarding your second question, I have no idea.