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Shocked By The "Aspartners" site

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timtowdi
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30 Nov 2014, 2:21 am

dianthus wrote:
http://forums.delphiforums.com/aspartne ... g=13419.22

pinklight wrote:
Dear Angel,

I don't know if I can say this right: But throwing away trash, doing the dishes- those are just symbols for what's really going on under the surface. You want a bit in return so you feel validated and loved. Please read the topic here which is entitled something like "bids for love". Even if you get your partner to do this stuff, he won't be doing it for the reason of connecting with you. You can hire a housekeeper, but you can't hire a husband.


I just...wow...I don't even have the words. These are mundane tasks that most people don't really enjoy or want to do. If you expect someone to do these things for the reason of connecting with you, so you can feel loved and validated, you are almost guaranteed to be unhappy.


But in many relationships, spouses will routinely do chores out of love for each other. What is appreciated is that it lifts a little burden from the other's shoulders, and it gives a sense of a shared life, working together. It's one of those things that keeps relationships going because it makes people feel special and loved.



Booyakasha
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30 Nov 2014, 2:38 am

Tawaki wrote:
Jono wrote:
Another, well interesting, post in the ASPartners forum:

x wrote:
Aspi....enough. I will not block you since someone wants to private msg. you. But do not post anymore. There are a million places for aspi conversation. Wrong planet for one.
This is a protective place for us n/t.
Your writing gives me post traumatic stress.
I was nice to Two aspis today at Thanksgiving. That's over my quota.


That was y responding to z again in that forum. Yay, she mentioned this forum. Quite the professional victim isn't she? If just seeing an aspie post on her forum is enough to trigger PTSD then I really wouldn't know what to say to her. Being nice to other people, especially aspies, is too much effort for her apparently. Well I that's more than what I would expected from her anyway. Here's the whole thread, so that you can read it:

http://forums.delphiforums.com/aspartners/messages/?msg=13133.1

y only replies on the second page though:

http://forums.delphiforums.com/aspartners/messages/?msg=13133.21


Your behavior now isn't Aspie. It's jerk.

Where do you get off calling someone a professional victim? How do you know what is triggering to whom? How dare you troll a board and post things from there here. You think Alex wants to see this toddler behaving horse s**t on his board?

Feel proud? Changed any minds? FFS did you even READ what you just posted? This is exhibit A that no matter how your brain is hard wired, everyone is capable of being unkind.

And yeah, she was less than nice, but you baited the bear until you got the reaction you wanted. You are now no better than the people who think Aspergers is just another excuse for being a jack ass.

I've been on that Delphi board, and it can be over the top, which is why I don't don't go there. What you care if people b***h and complain about their spectrum spouses? Is it taking money out of your pocket or a meal off the table? And if it feels that negative, why hang out there? I don't get people who troll boards. Life is too short to be causing mischief for basically nothing.

At least that person mentioned Wrong Planet in a positive light, and suggested you go there.

I try really hard not to offend people here. I'm not an Aspie, but married to one. I never belittle a person writing about sensory issues. It isn't for me to judge. And this isn't the board for it. Wrong planet is a positive place.

Sorry moderators, I couldn't let this go. People trolling and cross posting have brought down more forums than I care to remember.


No problem and this isn't aimed at anyone in particular but everyone involved - can we please tone it down a bit?

Or has this thread reached its capacity and needs to be closed down.



Jono
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30 Nov 2014, 4:43 am

Tawaki wrote:
Jono wrote:
Another, well interesting, post in the ASPartners forum:

x wrote:
Aspi....enough. I will not block you since someone wants to private msg. you. But do not post anymore. There are a million places for aspi conversation. Wrong planet for one.
This is a protective place for us n/t.
Your writing gives me post traumatic stress.
I was nice to Two aspis today at Thanksgiving. That's over my quota.


That was x responding to y again in that forum. Yay, she mentioned this forum. Quite the professional victim isn't she? If just seeing an aspie post on her forum is enough to trigger PTSD then I really wouldn't know what to say to her. Being nice to other people, especially aspies, is too much effort for her apparently. Well I that's more than what I would expected from her anyway. Here's the whole thread, so that you can read it:

http://forums.delphiforums.com/aspartners/messages/?msg=13133.1

z only replies on the second page though:

http://forums.delphiforums.com/aspartners/messages/?msg=13133.21


Your behavior now isn't Aspie. It's jerk.

Where do you get off calling someone a professional victim? How do you know what is triggering to whom? How dare you troll a board and post things from there here. You think Alex wants to see this toddler behaving horse s**t on his board?

Feel proud? Changed any minds? FFS did you even READ what you just posted? This is exhibit A that no matter how your brain is hard wired, everyone is capable of being unkind.

And yeah, she was less than nice, but you baited the bear until you got the reaction you wanted. You are now no better than the people who think Aspergers is just another excuse for being a jack ass.

I've been on that Delphi board, and it can be over the top, which is why I don't don't go there. What you care if people b***h and complain about their spectrum spouses? Is it taking money out of your pocket or a meal off the table? And if it feels that negative, why hang out there? I don't get people who troll boards. Life is too short to be causing mischief for basically nothing.

At least that person mentioned Wrong Planet in a positive light, and suggested you go there.

I try really hard not to offend people here. I'm not an Aspie, but married to one. I never belittle a person writing about sensory issues. It isn't for me to judge. And this isn't the board for it. Wrong planet is a positive place.

Sorry moderators, I couldn't let this go. People trolling and cross posting have brought down more forums than I care to remember.


Trolling? Sorry no, I don't troll other boards, in fact I've never even made a single post on that board. I'm just reading. Also, in case you're wondering, no I'm not aspie1view who was posting on that forum. You know, personal attacks are actually against the rules of this site. Calling me a troll? You'd better have proof before you accuse me of "baiting the bear".

Also, I don't think that that guy was trolling either, he just started posting their because he was disturbed by all the generalisations and bigotry on that forum. Also, if you actually read what he said, he actually feels like a failure as a partner because he didn't live up to his ex-girlfriend's expectations and was actually afraid of getting another girlfriend. Where's the empathy for that from that super-empathetic bunch?

I'm showing how bigoted those people are and anything I post here are just generally posts that I read on there which make me angry, it's not targeting one particular person. Sheesh calm down.



Booyakasha
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30 Nov 2014, 5:52 am

OK maybe this thread has indeed reached its capacity.