Difference between normal people and us

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Well, I will tell you my experience with people who have apparently a higher degree of autism than I do. When I talk to some of them, it's like I'm standing in a forest, and the trees in it are their thoughts.

This is sort of what it's like to realize, when someone is talking to you, that his notice of your existence is an afterthought. There isn't a sense of "smug superiority" in it (although I have been accused of it by neurotypicals who jump stupidly to conclusions), but it's like it's hard for him to register that you are there. It's like he's...someone who is very busy, and he would like to make time for you but authentically has too much on his plate to really give you his undivided attention.

From the opposite perspective, I might say that, to a neurotypical, the mind is their identity. To me, my mind is more of a place. I am not my mind, but I am in it. I am small, and the mind is, at least in contrast with me, large. It is a labyrinth, and it's something that I can get lost in. When I am stuck on an obsession, I am in it, and to get out of it, I have to hack my way out like I'm finding my way out of a confusing jungle.

It's like the machinery of my consciousness is a lot larger and more complex than my ability to operate it, so when one machine or system gets out-of-control, I'm in here trying desperately to get it back under control. It's such a full-time job keeping the machinery from going haywire, it's not that I don't care to give people my undivided attention, but taking my attention off of this crazy beast could actually be dangerous.

Now, to understand how a person with more severe autism is different from you, you have to understand that the "stuff" of this person's consciousness is larger than his executive capacity for controlling it, so it takes this person a very high level of concentration to actually focus his attention on you. It's like a mouse trying to maneuver a barge by pulling it with a strand of cheap yarn.

And when that person starts rambling about what is on his mind, it's like the mouse hopping on top of it and going, "Sqeek-sqeek! Lookit what I found!" The poor thing isn't all that bright unto himself, but the equipment he has to work with is pretty freaking impressive if you give the poor bastard time and patience to figure out the tangled mess.

Nicely described Persimmonpudding - except mine's not so much a mouse but a truck load of monkeys - hahaha

There are three entities inside my head - me, OCD and ADD - we are good friends and work as a team - we have been doing this since I was diagnosed and treated by hypno-regression therapy 20 years ago - consequently I was called at work Encyclopaedia and Wordsmith - I wrote government strategy and policy papers in highways and transportation aspects of town and country planning and socio-economic regeneration for the EU and UK - there used to be a fourth entity - ego - but it has disappeared into the woodwork since I read and practiced for three months the routines in -The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky, Synchrodestiny by Deepak Chopra, and, A Course in Miracles by Helen Schucman

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-How-Of-Happ ... 0749952466
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Synchrodestiny- ... 1844132196
http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/?ie=UTF8&keyw ... daexd2u6_b

Peace and Goodwill