What do you find confusing about the "NT World"?

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Lintar
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04 Feb 2015, 7:04 pm

olympiadis wrote:
Lintar wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
How they like to judge from a distance without even knowing a person or having met them.

God yes. I recall one incident at work when I was in the cafeteria sitting with others (all NT's) and they were gossiping about someone (something else I don't understand the necessity for), and how one of them actually said, based entirely upon the unsubstantiated chit-chat that was then taking place, 'Oh, well then in that case I hate her too, even though I've never met her'.
What the...? 8O



It's a bit long, but I think if you read through this entry then you will get a better understanding of the mechanism behind what you observe.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin


'...it is sometimes referred to as the "bonding hormone". There is some evidence that oxytocin promotes ethnocentric behavior, incorporating the trust and empathy of in-groups with their suspicion and rejection of outsiders.[5] Furthermore, genetic differences in the oxytocin receptor gene (OXTR) have been associated with maladaptive social traits such as aggressive behaviour.[6]' - from the article

That might explain it. The person who made the comment was female, and according to the article they are the ones affected by it. Even so, it's depressing to think that a silly chemical can control people like this, and without them even being aware of it. :(



Korin
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04 Feb 2015, 10:08 pm

I bond easily. I like it when people answer my questions.



Santarii
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05 Feb 2015, 3:07 pm

Santarii wrote:
Knowing someone should be avoided by getting an iffy vibe from them.
Strangers remembering me.

Oh by the way the first sentence here, what I meant was that other people knowing someone should be avoided by getting an iffy vibe from them is something I find confusing, not that I do that. I don't do that.



Shauna88
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05 Feb 2015, 5:18 pm

Well I'm one of those in the minority on the spectrum who has never had issues with processing facial expressions, body language or social cues so NT's are not that hard for me to understand. To relate to on the other hand? Really hard. I feel like there is sort of a wall between me and NT's. I feel like I'm sitting on the side lines of the NT world, I can see what's going on but I can't participate in it.

This sounds really bad but one of the things I don't get about the NT world is having a "career". I have never desired to have one.

I understand everything about them but I just don't relate to a lot of their desires and choices. Sometimes it's like "what the f***? I wouldn't do that".



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05 Feb 2015, 5:21 pm

Fashion is a huge mystery to me, along with make-up. generally making friends is extremely complicated (certain rules like dont hug them and dont tell them personal experiences).


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andyfzr
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06 Feb 2015, 2:19 am

I agree with you about the fashion thing. Nts are totally obsessed with how they look and act in front of others. I think most women I see especially the ones that wear alot of make up, look like some sort of alien. Even the guys are similar with all their hair and beauty products and their fashion. Its sad that we have to dress a certain way just to fit in and not be labelled "odd" for just being ourselves and not obsessing about appearance and even what sort of music and television we like. Its a mad mad world.


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Hansgrohe
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07 Feb 2015, 12:10 am

Well, I had an awful day of school.

Our school has pride days each Friday, where they encourage everyone to dress up in school gear and show their "school pride". Honestly, I don't really get it at all. Why the f*** would you take pride in a place that you probably hate spending most of your life in? Where you have little choice? What's the point? I can understand sports, nations, etc, but really? SCHOOLS?

And so, a lot of the preppy popular kids of course put on their gear.... and guess what. The halls were f*****g crowded, with various groups of kids playing loud-ass f*****g music and discussing stupid s**t, even mentioning weed, booze, and probably a party there (hell, I even smelled the weed). An ambulance arrived moments later for god knows what. Regardless, it was literally one of the worst things I'd ever seen. I actually even screamed "GET OUT OF THE WAY" and cussed and flicked off a few, because good god, you can only take the crap of neurotypicals for so long without going berserk.



mr_bigmouth_502
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07 Feb 2015, 2:58 am

Hansgrohe wrote:
Well, I had an awful day of school.

Our school has pride days each Friday, where they encourage everyone to dress up in school gear and show their "school pride". Honestly, I don't really get it at all. Why the f*** would you take pride in a place that you probably hate spending most of your life in? Where you have little choice? What's the point? I can understand sports, nations, etc, but really? SCHOOLS?

And so, a lot of the preppy popular kids of course put on their gear.... and guess what. The halls were f*****g crowded, with various groups of kids playing loud-ass f*****g music and discussing stupid s**t, even mentioning weed, booze, and probably a party there (hell, I even smelled the weed). An ambulance arrived moments later for god knows what. Regardless, it was literally one of the worst things I'd ever seen. I actually even screamed "GET OUT OF THE WAY" and cussed and flicked off a few, because good god, you can only take the crap of neurotypicals for so long without going berserk.


They don't give you some sort of an exemption from attending pep rallies? I remember my old high school did. I only ever attended one, and aside from them blaring one of my favorite Rammstein tunes, it was boring.



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07 Feb 2015, 9:43 am

I asked my husband this question..

The high value placed on social occasions, that you must attend but have nothing to do with you.

Hand shakes, hugs from strangers.

One word sentences that have a huge back story you are supposed to pull out of thin air.

His boss was going to lunch with some higher ups, they went around the cubie farm inviting a select few people. The big wigs (who my husband knows are big wigs) were behind his boss, and my husband knew they were there.

The boss said, "Lunch?"

Husband said, "Nope, I'm fine. Just working on X, Y, Z".

The boss whispered to my husband, "This is a big deal meeting/lunch, they want you to come. Do not embarrass everyone by refusing. Do you understand?"

That was the beginning of the end for his job.



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07 Feb 2015, 11:30 am

What I find most confusing of all is unpredictable behavior. When a person suddenly does something unexpected, like getting mad for no apparent reason, or doesn't do what they usually do or what they said they would do.

What's confusing is when it seems like there is a predictable pattern, as in I do "x" and the other person always does "y", and it seems totally routine, until maybe one day I do "x" and the other person does "z" instead.

It's especially confusing when a person TELLS me they are going to do "y" and I just take their word for it because they really seem sincere about it. But when the time comes they don't do it, or they do something totally different.

It's most confusing when what a person SAYS doesn't match what they DO. I naturally expect what people say to be the literal truth.

I understand intellectually that people lie, or change their minds, or play games, or sometimes just don't know what the hell they are talking about. But I have to consciously think about it to recognize those things.

I also find it very confusing when people read emotions or intent into things that are not there. Maybe sometimes that is what leads to unpredictable behavior, because the other person interpreted something in their own mind that I have no idea about.



mr_bigmouth_502
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07 Feb 2015, 4:52 pm

Tawaki wrote:
I asked my husband this question..

The high value placed on social occasions, that you must attend but have nothing to do with you.

Hand shakes, hugs from strangers.

One word sentences that have a huge back story you are supposed to pull out of thin air.

His boss was going to lunch with some higher ups, they went around the cubie farm inviting a select few people. The big wigs (who my husband knows are big wigs) were behind his boss, and my husband knew they were there.

The boss said, "Lunch?"

Husband said, "Nope, I'm fine. Just working on X, Y, Z".

The boss whispered to my husband, "This is a big deal meeting/lunch, they want you to come. Do not embarrass everyone by refusing. Do you understand?"

That was the beginning of the end for his job.


Ah yes, kissing ass to climb up the NT office social ladder. This is part of the reason why I don't ever want to have another job where someone else is my boss.



Pizzagal3000
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07 Feb 2015, 4:54 pm

Having to actually do the total opposite of "being myself.." :roll:


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olympiadis
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08 Feb 2015, 12:52 am

Tawaki wrote:
I asked my husband this question..

The high value placed on social occasions, that you must attend but have nothing to do with you.

Hand shakes, hugs from strangers.

One word sentences that have a huge back story you are supposed to pull out of thin air.

His boss was going to lunch with some higher ups, they went around the cubie farm inviting a select few people. The big wigs (who my husband knows are big wigs) were behind his boss, and my husband knew they were there.

The boss said, "Lunch?"

Husband said, "Nope, I'm fine. Just working on X, Y, Z".

The boss whispered to my husband, "This is a big deal meeting/lunch, they want you to come. Do not embarrass everyone by refusing. Do you understand?"

That was the beginning of the end for his job.


I would have done the same thing.

People should NOT ask you a question if there is only one acceptable answer.
That is asking for conflict.



Korin
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06 Mar 2015, 12:49 pm

I agree with your husbands boss. And about the topic , just a lot of brainwashing that's IT



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06 Mar 2015, 7:38 pm

When everything is diversity, diversity even if people disagree with it and plenty do they keep there thoughts private or maybe just tell friends or use code words or deny.

If they think you smell or they don't like choice of clothes then will usually not tell you especially if they do not know you.


When it comes to autistic traits people have no compunction telling you, you are doing the wrong thing or are just an attention seeking excuse making lazy ********


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06 Mar 2015, 8:12 pm

Hansgrohe wrote:
Well, I had an awful day of school.

Our school has pride days each Friday, where they encourage everyone to dress up in school gear and show their "school pride". Honestly, I don't really get it at all. Why the f*** would you take pride in a place that you probably hate spending most of your life in? Where you have little choice? What's the point? I can understand sports, nations, etc, but really? SCHOOLS?

And so, a lot of the preppy popular kids of course put on their gear.... and guess what. The halls were f*****g crowded, with various groups of kids playing loud-ass f*****g music and discussing stupid s**t, even mentioning weed, booze, and probably a party there (hell, I even smelled the weed). An ambulance arrived moments later for god knows what. Regardless, it was literally one of the worst things I'd ever seen. I actually even screamed "GET OUT OF THE WAY" and cussed and flicked off a few, because good god, you can only take the crap of neurotypicals for so long without going berserk.


Then you're really gonna hate this song.