What is your sexuality

Page 5 of 6 [ 88 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 Next

Previous topic | Next topic

pete1061
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Nov 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,766
Location: Portland, OR

10 Sep 2015, 7:07 pm

Crazyfool wrote:

pete1061 wrote:

Crazyfool wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

I'm demisexual, too

I had to look this up to figure out what demisexual was. So let me get this straight if you have a very sexy women dancing naked infront of you, you wouldn't have any kind of...ahhh.... urge's?

I know that sometimes the crushing loneliness of never being able to get a date just completely unplugs all emotion.
I have to make my brain go flatline so I don't get horribly depressed because I will never get to actually have sex with that very sexy woman. If she's not a stripper who working people over for cash, then she's just being friendly, as soon as they talk to me they lose interest.

At least for me, it's the lack of success in the sex arena that has made me less than enthusiastic.

Man, I that's hard to imagine that lack of a sexlife would lead to only feeling a sense of sexual attraction after an emotional connection. Does that mean that even things like porn aren't arousing for someone who is demisexual?

I do not claim myself as demisexual, not even sure what that is.

I describe myself as hopeless and completely given up.
Sometimes porn is a reminder of something I have been denied and just makes me depressed.
I can't speak for anyone else.

_________________
Your Aspie score: 172 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 35 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
Diagnosed in 2005

Edenthiel
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Sep 2014
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,820
Location: S.F Bay Area

10 Sep 2015, 7:49 pm

pete1061 wrote:

Crazyfool wrote:

pete1061 wrote:

Crazyfool wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

I'm demisexual, too

I had to look this up to figure out what demisexual was. So let me get this straight if you have a very sexy women dancing naked infront of you, you wouldn't have any kind of...ahhh.... urge's?

Sounds almost like...depression, maybe? I know when I've been depressed I has *zero* interest, no matter what the stimulus...

_________________
“For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.”
―Carl Sagan

Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

10 Sep 2015, 11:51 pm

Edenthiel wrote:

Bingo. Man, woman or blend. I can appreciate that they are attractive, but there's no 'urge' at all until I trust or have a close relationship with them.

This would potentially create an enormous fidelity in a relationship if both parties were demisexual, I imagine...
Alas, I believe this sexual orientation would be exceedingly rare...and I wouldn't be one of them who leans this way...

I am overly affected by the visual component in the sexual mechanism/system...
Not my fault...
"I yam what I yam, says Popeye the sailor man"....

mpe
Deinonychus

Joined: 26 Oct 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 379
Location: Exeter

11 Sep 2015, 1:38 am

Aristophanes wrote:

Obviously this is an unscientific poll, but at the moment asexual is the second most represented identity behind culturally dominant heterosexual. This does not surprise me, I think there may be a correlation for higher prevalence of asexuality among autistics than the general population.

The correlation appears to be 'outside the norm' which probably includes as many hypersexuals as asexuals.
Another factor to consider is that identifying as asexual is Politically Correct on WP. Even to the extent of there being people who evangelise asexuality.

mpe
Deinonychus

Joined: 26 Oct 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 379
Location: Exeter

11 Sep 2015, 1:55 am

Edenthiel wrote:

Leaving aside my rudeness for criticizing the poll the way I did (for which I am sorry), I realize I should not have placed demisexual as a sexuality.

Terms like demisexual, greysexual and sapiosexual Most tend to work best as 'modifiers'. As does asexual in some contexts.

Missing from the original survey are
skoliosexual: which can mean either attraction to non binary gendered or trans gendered people.
polysexual: which is attraction to more than one, but not all, genders.

Sometimes 'bisexual' can be a synonym for 'pansexual' at other times it can equate to, some kind of, 'polysexual'.

AFAIK there is no term to indicate attraction only to cis gendered people, even though this self evidently exists.

Fraljmir
Snowy Owl

Joined: 13 Aug 2015
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 136

11 Sep 2015, 4:19 am

pete1061 wrote:

I decided I do not want emotional entanglements with other people like that anymore.
I never had any luck getting dates anyway or even making many friends.

I'm just permanently single.
Yeah, I get aroused, but I take care of that the way anyone takes care of that when alone.

But, I just can't seem to find anyone I can "connect" with.
So I just gave up.
Learning to be content by myself.

If I think about this too much I'll get depressed

not "asexual" but, lost all hope on romance, it's only a special gift for very few.
A total fairy tale.

I sort of feel the same (not completely, but fairly similar). I consider myself to be heterosexual- I do find myself sexually and romantically attracted to women, however like you I consider myself "permanently single". I don't feel the need to have connections with people, which means when I do have an attraction to someone it puts me in a confusing state, because I 'want' a connection but don't 'need' a connection. Maybe it's as you said, I've never "connected" with someone, only had strong attractions to them, which hasn't been returned.

I'm perfectly content spending time with myself and doing things alone (in fact I prefer it), so I tend to try not form attachments to people, knowing that it just adds an un-necessary desire.

Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

11 Sep 2015, 6:24 am

"Sexuality on the autism spectrum

Autistic adults have, in general, differences in sexuality from the norm. Many more are asexual than in the average population. It is believed that there is a slightly higher pecentage of gays, lesbians, bisexual, and transgendered autistics than in the average population. "
http://autism-help.org/adults-aspergers-sexual.htm

No argument there from me...

Part of the reason for the high degree of asexualism in the autistic community seems to be our penchant/affinity with intellectualism at the expense of our reptilian/instinctual aspect...
Sex, after all is a rather animalistic function...

From personal experience, the intellect tends to become involuntarily dominant over the more primitive urges during physical coupling...

When I was much younger I tended to be asexual also and confused, btw, so I am talking from personal experience here...
And I still think the act of copulation extremely odd regarding penetration...

Neurotypicals, on the other hand have a greater connectedness with their animalistic/primitive nature...
Yay for them...

Edenthiel
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Sep 2014
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,820
Location: S.F Bay Area

11 Sep 2015, 3:29 pm

Pepe wrote:

Not only do atypical brains tend to cluster, but AS people also tend to not have the almost innate ability to subvert and repress that which might make them less acceptable and popular. With the current changing social attitudes - especially among millennials and younger - that should actually be testable.

Pepe wrote:

Part of the reason for the high degree of asexualism in the autistic community seems to be our penchant/affinity with intellectualism at the expense of our reptilian/instinctual aspect...

I wonder how often the cause might also be related to stimulus, sensory issues, OCD and the like? Most NT people seem to value spontaneity as it reflects (to them) a greater passion.

_________________
“For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.”
―Carl Sagan

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,597
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic police state called USA

11 Sep 2015, 10:45 pm

I'm hetero but I'm also sort of on the asexuality spectrum. I like sex but it just isn't that important to me & i don't get sexual attraction but I feel romantic attraction towards women.

_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill

"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition

Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

12 Sep 2015, 6:06 pm

May I ask a question about homosexuality?...

Edenthiel
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Sep 2014
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,820
Location: S.F Bay Area

12 Sep 2015, 7:34 pm

Pepe wrote:

May I ask a question about homosexuality?...

I didn't start the thread but it doesn't seem off-topic to me?

_________________
“For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.”
―Carl Sagan

sorrowfairiewhisper
Veteran
Veteran