My new theory on self diagnosed autistics

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1. And what makes you think most of the self-DXd on here were bullied at school and are self-isolated and have self-DXd based on that alone?

2. We KNOW there are "some" clear symptoms and indicators for autism and most of us have combed the DSM in its various incarnations depending upon when we began questioning all this (and updated our ideas based on the most recent DSMV). What makes you feel we don't realize there are actual criteria for being on the spectrum?

3. "Have you guys even read the books about autism?" 'The' books? Yes, I'd hazard a guess that the majority of us have read book after book after book (as well as study after study after study) 'on autism'. How condescending.

If you've gone further than just having been bullied and assuming and not having read 'the books' on autism, how is it you are unwilling to give the next person that much credit?

By the way, the criteria you list for your own self-DX...your father, you feel, has some autistic traits and some colleagues have made comments. And you're criticizing others for their lacks in self-DXing?

Head blown.

What really "has to stop" is all this "I know I'M smart enough to self-DX, but the next person? Almost certainly not...though I don't know that person, have never met that person, and know absolutely zip about how s/he came to his/her own conclusions" bit.

And I see once again that we have the sideways comment about how people want to be autistic because that's superior. I'm sorry, but every time I see that, I wonder whether it's projection. IOW, it sounds like the person making the accusation is the one who believes there's prestige or a "cool" factor or something in being autistic...meanwhile, the person s/he is accusing of doing same is sitting here scratching his or her head, because those of us who have actually lived this know just how uncool the overwhelming majority of the world thinks it is, and how difficult it can be.

Before criticizing the next person, perhaps look at your own methods...and in the meantime, it wouldn't hurt to give people a bit more credit than you're showing in this post.

3. I just laughed, i am sorry. You have NO idea who my dad is, my brothers story, MY story.

I just had to comment on this alone because that is pretty much the most hilarious thing i have read on this forum for a while. The rest of your post is just nothing but personal attacks. Read my post AGAIN. I never attacked anyone, it something i personally observed on alot of forums for autistic people. Their story is pretty much all the same. Alot of people with autism get bullied, but most people who got bullied dont have autism. You should read alot of similar backstories in both people who got diagnosed and people who dont but are still doubting if they have it or not.

Ever went to websites where people have unexplained medical symptoms, but a real diagnosis is never given?
They are literally told that it is all in their heads. Meanwhile, prior to their diagnosis and their 5 stages of grief before they hit acceptance, they spend YEARS going from doctor to doctor, fearing they got ALS, MS and all the other nasty diseases while they refuse to believe that there is nothing wrong with them, off to another doctor they go. Second opinion, third opinion,.. all the other doctors, man what a f*****g idiot they were.. this new doctor will get it right.


Alot of people who feel there is something wrong with them do get their diagnosis here. But hey, what about the other 90%..?

That is all i am saying.

I've already said my piece about what I think of the gate-keepers, but I want to add an anthropological observation I've made through the years. Whenever there is an unpopular, downtrodden, or marginalized group, there can be a tendency to turn on your own. You become protective of your identity, and want to establish strict boundaries.

In the early days of the LGBT movement, there was talk from the gay community of whether Bi's should be included. Were they really "gay enough?" Ditto with the trans folks. In the end, they went with inclusion, and it's made a huge difference in their strides forward.

A similar phenomenon is still going on with the polyamory community. They frequently try to distance themselves from the swingers.

This becomes pathological when you start excluding people who would otherwise be valuable allies.

Exactly. I don't know your or your father's story or your brother's story...any more than you know anyone's story on here. That was exactly my point. I think what you're missing is that you're making assumptions based on other people and doing so with apparent authority based on your own experiences, but are "laughing" when others make assumptions about you. That was my entire point - knowing, as you do, that we don't know your story, how is it possible for you not to realize that you don't know anyone else's story, either? Yet your assumption is that we don't read books and make snap judgments.

That's in no way an attack. It's an observation. You are seeing it as an attack, but it is not. It is logic. My pointing out that your criteria that you have given here for self-DXing is no firmer than someone saying "I was bullied, I'm isolated, I'm socially inadept" or what-have-you. Yet you're firm in your own self-DX. Why? Because obviously, more went into it than that. You know that, yet you assume nothing beyond having been socially unaccepted is others' whole story.

Are you seeing the irony? And are you seeing that perhaps you're making judgments on other people that you wouldn't wish made on you (and that in fact are so outrageous that they make you laugh)?

This is really interesting.

I wonder why this is? I mean what's the mechanism behind it (as you said, it results in excluding potential allies so it would seem to be really counter-productive)?

Yes and no. In addition to the generic backstory i do have had repetitive behaviour in my childhood that is too painful to talk about. Some of stuff i still do when no one is around, and i dont know why. I just do it without even thinking.

I miss alot of that in New peoples backstories. I dont like the elitism and the diagnosed vs undiagnosed war, but i can understand where it is coming from to an certain extend.


Sorry about my chaotic sesamstreet level english. All my post use the same basic words i have no problem reading expensive words tho.

I think your English is just fine, actually. I understand. I think a lot of us are where you are. WE know our backstories but others don't, and it's difficult because how can you keep telling every detail of your backstory in every single post...know what I mean?

But unfortunately this means it's easy to assume the next person hasn't done his/her homework and is just jumping on the whole ASD thing even though that may not be true.

You are fully understandable, please don't worry about that. You completely make sense to me, anyway. I get what you're saying.

Can't we all just get along? Division always results in less.

Some people have an external locus of control, some people have an internal locus of control. I sometimes wonder if the generations who have grown up on the internet - unlike those of us who tended to get our education from universities - are more likely to have an external locus of control.

As one of the people with an internal locus of control - which has stood me in good stead all my life, mentored my adult children into great lives and achieved financial independence for all of us - I'm pretty hard to impress with crazy theories that have no basis in reality other than someone thinking so..

Well I don't mean that the community has to be segregated, but if there were a section for self-diagnoses where there was no debate if one was wrong or right or the validity of self-diagnosis some people would probably feel much safer/happier. They could still post in other sections (especially if GD section was removed), but they'd have the option to free themselves from what they didn't want to read when such a discussion came up.

A diagnosis sub-forum with a self-diagnosis section could be a good idea.

I don't really mind so much what I read but I think the forum would generally be more welcoming if users had to 'opt in' (enter a specific section) to certain categories of discussion. As it stands GD encompasses almost everything to do with autism and with that comes the potential for maximum offense.

I would think some people would interpret a self diagnosis seperate section or sub forum as an implied message that they are other and would feel they are bieng segregated even if that was not the intent due misunderstanding of others said to be common in autism and thier own history of bieng excluded.

I'm not sure what making a separate subforum for self-diagnosis/self-diagnosed would accomplish. If people don't want to read these discussions, they can opt out themselves no matter what subforum it is under. They don't have to look at it if they don't want to.

I think very few self-diagnosed people would say they have autism for reasons like they want to be treated as special or highly intelligent etc. I think most people honestly do show signs of autism and either have it or they don't. If they don't have it, I don't think there's anything wrong with them being here. Afterall what may be really wrong with them (depression, anxiety, personality disorder, PTSD/C-PTSD - or many of these) means they aren't really neurotypical and may never have been as many of them may have suffered in childhood as well.

I have not been diagnosed but am seeking a diagnosis currently. I was bullied in school but no more than many people I know so this is not the basis of my belief that I'm on the spectrum. I do suffer from C-PTSD but believe that if I didn't have the symptoms in childhood that I believe are related to autism then I probably wouldn't have it as bad as I do. I call myself autistic because I relate to people on the spectrum and truly believe I have it. My life has not been easy and very few people know that I believe I'm autistic. I'm seeking diagnosis because I don't want to receive the wrong therapies to help with my issues because my brain works differently. I don't want to be medicated with drugs that won't help me but may actually make my life harder than it already is. I want to be able to figure out who I am and understand myself and get relevant advice for my future based on this - not based on what people assume I am/have. I don't expect a diagnosis will make people see me as special but think that it probably will attract ridicule towards me (I won't be telling many people anyway). I have doubted myself many times and others have doubted me more but this has not stopped the questions surfacing or made my life any easier. I think there are many people who feel the same way. So what is wrong with us being here and identifying as autistic when we truly believe it, especially when neurotypicals so often just don't get it?

Someone earlier mentioned that girls and boys don't present the same and someone else responded saying that this isn't true (can't remember who). I'd just like to say that according to Tony Attwood, girls and boys in fact DON'T always present the same.(http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/index.php ... ew=article)
The key word here is "present" - same diagnostic criteria but they present differently. In saying this, the majority of health professionals don't seem to acknowledge this and the latest DSM V doesn't provide enough information on how girls and women often present (despite mentioning that they can present differently), which makes it hard for a psychologist that is not an expert to diagnose a girl that may well be on the spectrum but doesn't appear to be on the surface. (There is also more social stigma against girls who aren't socially adept so less teachers/caregivers reporting it in fear of this.) This doesn't mean she doesn't struggle the same as boys. Also Tony Attwood believes there are many undiagnosed females (many of which suffering other mental illnesses) and that our current ratio of boys v girls is incorrect.

Many people do seek help from professionals as well and get told (like me) that it is most probably something else without that psych actually going through the proper diagnostic tests. So our time gets wasted and we get misdiagnosed and misunderstood time and time again. In Australia we have a decent public health system that helps pay for some of our costs, but this doesn't cover everything and if you get stuffed around a lot and run out of free or subsidised sessions then what can you do if you can't afford it?

Anyway - I don't think a lot of people are being posers and if people are here because they relate but don't have it - why not invite them and make them feel welcome?

I think you're probably right.

In the end if somebody self-diagnoses and expresses it on this forum it only really affects them. They shouldn't be concerned whether somebody is bothered by what they do if they don't see a reason for it. Everybody has their opinions and doesn't have to follow any particular 'rules' laid out by others. The amount of fakers/posers in reality is likely to be very small outside of teenagers where developing an identity is part that stage in human life, and even then most mistakes made are probably innocent. There are also a few that self-diagnose and act superior to NTs but again, they're a minority, and it's not like they'd be any different a person had they chosen another path instead.

Personally I would prefer that people that want to self-diagnose do self-diagnose and not feel guilty about it because of what others say, but I would also like that such people don't publicly refer to themselves as autistic as that implies they were officially diagnosed. To me the personal difference is minimal, because the person is obviously suffering in some way or another or they wouldn't have come to this website. All that bothers me is the potential for a collective of 'autistics' (quotations not for doubt but for no professional diagnosis) to spread misinformation and/or glorify the label of autism by chance of them becoming attached to what may not actually be autism but just a couple of traits and some bad life experience. I suppose this ties back to my thoughts about autism being a medical diagnosis first, and an identity as a secondary.

Self-diagnosees of WP shouldn't feel threatened by opposing opinions. There are always as*holes and as*hole opinions (I have a few, lol) against everything. I think it's up to them to remain strong and make themselves feel welcome here, as they should be.

Though I'm still against it, I do admit my opinion on self-diagnosis used to be harsher than it is now.

I agree, on the part you should not tell everyone. It's a very personal decision and I was warned not to but I ended up flooding information on people on what autism is and it caused a huge problem.

I am labeled as, "The Pretender" or "The Actor" as for a subtype and believe me it just makes things harder as people refuse or can't believe your different or can't understand them. Though I have found certain ways in turning an confusing situation into people thinking I am joking with them.

Its not that any discussion or difference of opinion about self diagnosed isn't tolerated. Its that when you come here and negatively blanket generalize all the 'self diagnosed' here and call them fakes or basically too crazy to know what they are talking about...its going to bother people and probably put self diagnosed individuals on the defense.

'Self Diagnosed' people aren't unwelcome on this website....and once I was one of the 'self diagnosed' and I can say none of your theorizing about what drives self diagnoses reflects my experience what so ever. I have always been awkward and weird in ways noticeable to others never could figure it out....but eventually my sister brought up aspergers, I looked into it and found it did describe quite a bit about me or at least some of the difficulties/struggles I was having in life. So after a while I considered myself 'self diagnosed' because it seemed the simplest most honest way to express my certainty that I had it but without misleading people to think I meant I had seen a professional at that point.

Much cleaner on paper and verbally to say 'self diagnosed' than 'uhh well I think I have aspergers maybe.' not to mention the latter doesn't reflect how I was thinking about it. Either way when I was able to find a professional to see I went...and got officially diagnosed. I do not think that changes anything....just means instead of being quite aware I was on the spectrum without a piece of paper saying so, now I have a piece of paper that says so.

And if you don't want to engage in the conversation you started why on earth did you even post? that means I likely just wasted the time I spent on typing this.