how "weird" do you appear to other people?

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My curse is that people keep thinking I'm just a normal person who is mean and cold, or one who says the funniest things in that dry way I have, that condescending "That's Pat" kind of attitude you get from some people. So I can keep my mouth shut and alienate people, or open it and run a 50/50 chance of either pissing them off or making them think I'm their new funny friend. A very few people, patient saints in human form, have some idea what I'm really like and treat me as they treat everyone else, with respect. I'm blessed to know such people, but I don't talk to them much... I just don't figure they would want to. Too much of me could try the patience of a saint.

Yes, I'm always surprised after people get to know me they say they were scared of me when they first knew me in case I shot down something they said. Mostly at work. My honestly probably is the cause of that and I can be sarcastic, which people sometimes think is funny, like 'oh my God, I can't believe you just said that'....(sometimes I feel the same way!).

I do remember some "in crowd" girl saying something derogatory about me in grade 12...like "she comes out with the weirdest things"...it really hurt me, but you know, what can you do really.

Also, I had a lot of friends who were boys in high school...which I think pissed some of the girls off...probably because I didn't waste time talking about meaningless Sh^$ all day.

When I was very young, I didn't appear really weird to strangers except some, and "funny weird" to my parents and family members... mostly because I didn't talk to people I didn't know a lot... and if I did, it wasn't the weird sort of stuff I usually told in front of my parents...

Then when I grew older, in primary school, I was weird, but not that much... because well, I STILL didn't really reveal my thoughts, people just thought I was neurotic because of some of my stims (nail and lip-biting, rocking and shaking my leg) everybody was still young and there were some people like me who didn't like "normal things" such as dancing in parties and make-up. Oh and people with good grades and a lot of knowledge weren't considered loathesome by many that days.

But now I am considered to be REEAAALLY weird because most people around me have hit puberty and puberty is supposed to cause a lot of changes to people and blah blah. Personally, it's just made me a little more bad-tempered and more open to revealing and defending my thoughts... but most of the people I made friends with due to "similarity" in primary school have DRASTICALLY changed. One who was very introverted (even more so than me) has suddenly become extraverted and is making friends with about EVERYBODY in the class. o_O So, I am more alone than ever now, and therefore considered very weird, because the more people there are who are similar to you, the less weird people consider you to be. Some people think of my weirdness as "interesting" while some others think of me as a abhorable lunatic.

I'm so weird that people don't go near me.