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Is it a part of YOU?

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AJisHere
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05 Jun 2016, 5:50 am

Ganondox wrote:
Part of the problem is it's impossible to know exactly what "autism" gives you. Autism is defined as being a disorder, it doesn't give anything, but the underlying cause, what people are really talking about, usually does.


Well I wish it would knock it off, then. Whatever it's giving me, I don't care for it one bit.:P


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skibum
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05 Jun 2016, 7:59 am

Ganondox wrote:
AJisHere wrote:
I don't value what autism gives me (it would be hard for me to even name something it gives me), while I greatly value what it puts out of reach for me.

This is why it doesn't feel like a part of me. Instead, it almost feels like a part of me is missing because of it. It's hard to describe.


Part of the problem is it's impossible to know exactly what "autism" gives you. Autism is defined as being a disorder, it doesn't give anything, but the underlying cause, what people are really talking about, usually does.
I know that some of the best parts of my personality are directly because of my Autism. There are also some physical aspects about my life that I love that are directly because of my Autism.


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AJisHere
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05 Jun 2016, 1:16 pm

skibum wrote:
I know that some of the best parts of my personality are directly because of my Autism. There are also some physical aspects about my life that I love that are directly because of my Autism.


That's good to hear. I don't fault you or anyone else for feeling that way and in fact I think it's wonderful that you can find positive things like that in it. :) I just don't feel this way about myself, though.

In some sense, I suppose this thread has shown me that autism is a part of me; but not in the same way it's a part of a lot of other people on this forum (which is kind of what I was getting at). I don't value it, don't like anything about it and would love to be rid of it; but I can't get rid of it, so I've had to accept that and adapt to it as best I can. :|

It still feels like it doesn't belong there.


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Yes, I have autism. No, it isn't "part of me". Yes, I hate my autism. No, I don't hate myself.