How many people on WP are married.

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Marriage is never anything that has ever held any appeal to me.

Maybe things might change considering I'm only 26 but I also have major difficulties relating to other people and honestly prefer being alone.

Actually, I think it's best to be in a relationship where there are some safeguards in place, where one can't just disappear after dropping some choice words.

Kind of like "break glass in case of emergency". That act of breaking glass should give you a pause to think "Am I really doing this?"

If you don't have a marriage contract or shared children, pets and finance, each person should be free to disappear from a relationship when they're unhappy. Staying because of obligation, or dragging it out with BS and resentment, is far worse than finding yourself alone.

The caring partner may be traumatized and looking for answers. You should always be decent to your partner.

Last edited by Cornflake on 21 Jan 2023, 7:15 am, edited 1 time in total.: Removed a personal attack

I was speaking on behalf of the traumatised parties who have been mistreated.

I was traumatised but couldn't disappear because I owned the house.
I invited them to go on their merry way.


Get a grip.

I got married a few days after my 60th birthday. I had met her 7 years earlier. She is NT. She was never married and is 7 years younger than me. And, yes, my Asperger's plays an issue in the marriage.

No, I'm not married.

OP, marriage isn't something that appealed to me either. It was expected of me because of the culture I was raised in, but I realised by my mid twenties that it isn't something I wanted.

I got married to GalileoAce (who was once a moderator here) in 2007. We were pretty happy apart from my problems with mental illness until 2010. He decided that he wanted to be a woman. I couldn't deal with that so I stayed with my parents for two years. I kept visiting GA for those two years because we have always been like best friends. I'm asexual and she's not but she never pressured me.

Then my parents decided to move to the country. I couldn't go with them as I still had uni to go to. So I moved back in with GA (separate rooms). We have since moved into another place and this year it will have been 10 years here.

I can't think of anyone I'd rather live with than GA. She identifies as female now and I'm fine with that. I feel somewhat ashamed that I reacted so badly to that at first. So we're separated but still close.

Been married almost 10 years. It has its ups and downs. It has been tougher since having a child. Almost overwhelming. At this point I'm sure my spouse wishes they had married a normal person. She hates that I suffer from extreme social anxiety. When she does manage to drag me out she complains that I behave weird around her friends. If you are somebody like me that gets really drained being around other people I don't recommend marriage. If you do make the leap really think hard before having a child. They are hard for normal people to handle. I think it is 10X harder for people in this community. I have never felt so much depression and anxiety in my life before.

Well, since it looks like this thread has come back from the dead...

By age 40 I'd given up on ever getting married. Then at a party I met a gal who I had a few things in common with and who I had a wonderful conversation with, and I left the party expecting to never see her again. She later informed me she was disappointed I didn't ask for her telephone number!
(EEK! My social skills were nowhere near strong enough for that to have happened!)

Months later she needed a favor, recalled me, realized I could likely help her, and that I'd given her enough clues she could find me. She called and explained the favor and it was one I could easily do for her. The favor did not require us to meet in person but while we were chatting on the phone I realized there was another way I could help her but it would require meeting in person. Things progressed well from there. We've been married for more than 20 years!

A few neurodiversity observations:
>>- I'm Autistic and I was in my 40s. I think it a complete fluke I ended up married.
>>- She's ADHD. Between that and my Autism, marriage is interesting.
>>- Things have definitely been better since I retired!

My opinions on marriage in general?
>>- Isn't "love" a recent parameter? I think having to find that slowed things down.
>>-+-My guess is an "arranged marriage" society might work better for Autistics.
>>- In addition to love I wanted someone who I could trust to watch my back.
>>-+-That also slowed things down. I could've married sooner but with an idiot.
>>- Formal, legal marriages likely make relationships more durable.
>>-+-Divorce might seem like more trouble than reconciliation.
>>- Governments and organizations give legal benefits to spouses.
>>-+-It would be impossible to give those benefits to every friend you get close to.

If the right person EVER comes along for me, and if that romantic relationship is stable enough, I might.

Honestly, finding the right person for me, whether in my area or contact via social media, is just so freaking nearly impossible!

Met my Dh at 16 friend zoned him because I had a boyfriend. Things didn’t work out with the boyfriend - first date at 17.

Kept looking around because not yet Dh was willing to put up with that since I was basically a child. That was fun for a while, but I realized I was an idiot and was never going to find anyone else I could possibly marry when I was 20. Married him at 21. Going on 33 years now. Three kids, a grandkid, and a farm.

When I was in my teens I remember seeing a 'and finally' story on the local news about an elderly couple that were celebrating their 60th anniversary. The presenter kept going on about how amazing it was they'd stayed together so long.

The thought in my head was that it would be a lot more amazing if they'd been together for 60 years without being married, just because they wanted to.

I visualised marriage as an elastic band wrapped around two magnets. Pointless while the magnets were attracting, and an impediment should they ever start repelling each other.

That's when I decided I would never get married. There are tax benefits but I don't care. I've been in a relationship for 20 years now without being married. People often assume we are married, it doesnt bother me and I don't look down on people who do want to want to get married - it just doesn't appeal to me.

^ That's what I used to think while I was young and stupid. But I got smart.

Besides, it's problematic to have kids when the parents are unmarried. The woman won't be able to use the man's insurance while she's out of work with the child. And lots of other stuff, that's just the beginning.

Life is hard as it is without creating additional problems you don't have to have.

But, hey, it sounds like you're still young. Take that as a compliment.

You're probably right. I mean, what's my 20 years of experience against your razor-sharp insight?

Guess i'd better buy a ring.