Does anyone else here absolutely hate having AS?

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I have some people to compare myself to so that I can get better precision of who I am even though that I only have similarities to AS and not the diagnoses.

I also think that many AS people, even with their high I.Q or that which is said to be high on the I.Q continuum, are too opinionating and not into enough objectiveness to show that there is room for a second opinion on things.

Anyways, I wouldn't like being similar to AS or having AS if the world that I know is not reality.

I believe (and always will believe) that AS is a part of me, makes me who I am, and am happy this way

When I found out (I was never told) that I had been diagnosed with AS I actually did not want to believe that, but as the weeks after me finding out passed I accepted it was part of me, but I still remain relatively angered at the person who gave me the diagnosis and all the others that knew about it but never told me. I was diagnosed when I was 15/16, so I assume everyone was worried how I would have taken the news, I would have taken it better than finding out the way I did

These days I am proud to be an aspie and want the world to know that

HUH?

Who said AS people are unjustly opinionated?

Who said the AS view isn't real? Sometimes it IS the real view. All too often it is more precise or just another way of looking at things.

Steve

I can say the same, knowing it has improved the situation greatly.
As they'd say in Dutch, you can see the trees through the forrest finnaly.
However all in all i'm still of far worse off than my NT brothers.
And i am seriously jealouse of them.

I dunno, I can see where you are coming from, I think.... not positive. Correct me if I'm wrong. I've also seen just people in general are sometimes highly opinionated and think their way is the only way That's not just an AS thing, there are a lot of people with AS here who don't do that and do look at things objectively on a lot of things. I'm opinionated, but tend to be open to all opinions-unless I don't understand them. When that happens, it's not that I'm not taking a second opinion, I'm just not fully comprehending what someone is saying, so it sounds illogical to me. I have to read something several times to understand, or have others point it out to me a lot, and then I say my "sorry"s and whatnot and am fine.

As far as the last part-do you mean with socializing? As in since the world is pretty much all about socializing, and you're stuck in your own little world and can't really participate fully... ummm... what the hell am I trying to say? lol.

Since the world is all about socializing and being able to read people for the most part, and you do just fine in it, do you mean you wouldn't like the feeling of being somewhat isolated or restricted to your own little world? It does have it's perks-for us, it is our reality We just don't do well in the majority's perspective of what reality is.

I hate it. All it does is cause trouble for me socially and at work. I don't have any of the positive AS traits.

there's positive AS traits

Yes, there are! It would be positive to have an interest in something useful and a desire to find out as much as possible for it, for instance. Being able to "think outside the box" and come up with different solutions to problems is positive. Being immune to social games and such crap and really hating to join in them is positive.

These are all positive traits that many Aspies have, but I don't have them--I only have the negative ones that cause me trouble socially.

You're kidding, right? Intense study, possibly better visual, longterm and/or short term memories, vocabulary, spatial, math, artistic, etc.....

ALL POSITIVE TRAITS associated with AS!

I didnt get a lot of those-if any

This post merely serves the purpose of expressing my opinions more than anything else, based on what I have read and taken in.

Is AS a disease?

No no no no no no, and once more for the man in the shed - NO!! !! A disease is technically a state of dis-ease within the mind or body caused largely by external factors. Some are catching, some are not. Also(and this is my main point), diseases tend to express themselves very similarly in individuals as they have a distinct set of symptoms. These symptoms are expressed in anyone affected by a disease in almost exactly the same way, and therefore, take pretty much the same course in anyone affected by it. Syndromes, on the other hand, are a different ball game altogether. Syndromes are a collection of symptoms associated with a specific mental or physical impairment/disorder/difference, but can be expressed differently from one person to another, or, in some cases, some symptoms or behavioural patterns are not exhibited at all. This is where, I believe, Asperger's falls under. It is not a disease as we are NOT all the same and do not display all the same character differences, thus far it is a syndrome. One thing we all have in common is some form of social anxiety and awkwardness. However, not all of us have life long obsessions, for some they last days or weeks only. Some of us may be hypersensitive to noise, whereas some of us are not. Some of us may loathe and detest being touched by others, whereas some of us are unaffected by this. And so the differences continue.

Hate having AS?

I don't, purely because I don't know anything else (even though I only found last year I had AS, boy was that a relief or what knowing why I was 'different'?). Yes, I am surrounded by those without Asperger's on a regular basis and, although I see all these people (whether it be at work, waiting at a bus stop, round visiting my family etc etc), I still cannot fully comprehend what their thought processes are like (in some cases however, to me it would be like looking in my junk mail folder) in the same way that they don't full understand us. Life is not without it's problems or anxieties for anyone. In fact ,there are probably just as many pros and cons to 'normal' life as there are in 'aspie' life. It's just that these problems are slightly different. But how can I wish to be something that I don't fully understand in the first place? Furthermore, what is the point of wishing for something that is never going to happen anyway (a waste of brain power, thus energy) when I can just be proud of who I am? In my mind, this makes for a much happier existence.

Living alone or the need for friends?

I have seen some people on here that don't feel the need to have friends and prefer being by themselves. If you genuinely feel this way, then great. But some do not feel like this. In fact, from what I have seen on here, many of us want friends but, inevitably because of our lack of social skills, find this somewhat difficult, resulting in loneliness. From the people I have spoken to about this issue, the main reasons why are that we can appear a bit too clingy, we pretend to be something we are not (people can see right through this) and, yes, we try too hard. There may be more reasons why, but I have listed those mainly because these were the things that I was mainly guilty of. I am sure that there are other reasons (many of which are not our fault such people thinking we are weird in a bad way, I have had that too). As a child or teenager, life is very difficult as an aspie, as children and teenagers tend to be less accepting of people that are different. You usually are lucky to meet people that will accept you at that age. The more confident aspies around us fare better , I am sure, that those of us that are somewhat more introverted (like I used to be). Nowadays, the only front I will put on for the public is a confident one(inside I am screaming like a little girl lol). My attitude is also that of if you don't like me, tough, but if you do like me, great. I put on a 'don't give a crap' front too. I am also willing to engage in small talk when I first meet someone, and then once I truly get to know them better, they will then know not to bother with crappy small talk. Largely, nowadays, I am just myself as there is no point being anything else, as I am kidding myself and everyone around me, and what's the point of that when I don't need to change?
It's not just aspies that falter when it comes to social skills. NT's do too. I happen to know a particular NT female. She had all these hopes of getting married, having lots of friends and having a great career. But because she lacks extremely in the loyalty department, as well as not having a clue how to behave appropriately in my opinion, she has pretty much lost everything (us aspies are loyal you see...). She once had a good group of friends (some of whom she was bitchy to), a good boyfriend (who she treated like crap) and was working her way towards a good career (she was actually doing ok at this from what I hear). However, she ended up losing her boyfriend and most of her friends because she has this 'I am dead special' attitude and likes to get on her high horse quite a bit. The friends she has left don't often see her much now. So now all she does is go to work, go home, eat and sleep. She is incredibly lonely and feels the only way to get attention is to flash her breasts off, but that only attracts short term attention, not long term. We are not that bad, now are we people?

Every man, woman and child, aspie or not, has negtives and positives in their personalities. Think of all the positive aspects of the aspie personality as opposed to the negatives, live for those positives every day and be proud of who you are.

I actually enjoy having AS. To me, its just who I am.

This is helped by my optimistic belief that no matter how bad things get, things will aways work out, I may not even be alive to see them work out, but they will work out. Every genocide has fallen at least a little short of success, every war has an end, and every tyrant eventually falls.

Many of the problems facing AS is a result of being in a neurotypical world. (hence the site name: Wrong Planet), if we lived in an all aspie society people would expect others to be socially awkward.

To you, I recommend going into a career that suits your obsession. All Aspies have an obsession, try to turn yours into a career, and you will be very happy. To "cure" AS would be nothing more then to change someone's personality.

I agree 110% with this sentence. But I also think aspies need to accept some of the responsibility for not getting along with others. There are some aspies I have met who appear to be incapable of understanding the fact that every person they meet doesn't share the same knowledge and hobbies as them. But a large number of them also DO seem to realize the fact that most people are NOT intellectuals, and have a "snob" attitude towards others. At the same time, I wish I lived in another country than the USA. Too many people here are ANTI-intellectual. For example, I know a lot of so-called "old" people (between the age of 60 and 65) who still have never learned how to perform a Google search, and think of all computers as toys for geeks, aspies, and other "weird" people. And one of my hobbies is the study of language, which apparently is a hobby that most NTs couldn't care less about. I grew up in Texas and while I find it to be beautiful and have a unique culture, the vast majority of people here are ignorant and I get bored due to the limitations of living in a small town. But it beats living in big cities up north, where gangs will shoot any stranger wearing clothes of a certain color who wanders onto "their" street.

I think hating the society over the fact u have AS would probly make you feel worse than hatin yur aspergers its not societys fault they just dont understand just like someone who is in a wheel chair and someone who is not the one who has never been in a wheel chair dont understand what its like for the person who doesnt need a wheelchair so the person that is handicapped should not go around hating non handicapped people because they make life hard for handicapped people. That will just make u more bitter and miserable. I dont recommend that advice.

Let's just say it has made me a worse person, a lesser person, than I could have been.

Yes, here's why:-

I'm ashamed of everything because all the things on this list overweighs the good points, and there aren't many good points with me because I'm not that clever for an Aspie and I find I am ''too nice'' which makes me get crapped upon in the end anyway.


I hate having obsessions that put me to shame and seperate me from the norm and make other people fed up with me (even if I have never, ever mentioned one word to a person then one day, after about 3 years of knowing them, I just about bring up just one teeny little fact about my obsession, without hinting that it's an obsession, just a teeny fact about it that is somehow relavent to the conversation anyway, but they still pick up on it being an obsession, from the way they change the subject quick. I feel like saying ''OK, want my gold watch so you can tell me more about me what you don't know about, you psychic?'')

I hate having peeves that are unpredictable to the norm (and very strange compared to the norm too).

I hate having too much self-awareness and being too sensitive to ridicule that I get obliged to do all my best to conform and still get shallow closed-minded shitfaces in public pointing me out like I'm some sort of freak that deserves to be belittled.

I hate being picked on and punished in public just for looking shy but not actually making any signifficantly obvious body language to make me look more noticeably shy (biting nails, walking with head down, walking with humped back, etc cetera. I don't do any of that).

I hate being unable to handle aggressiveness like a normal adult, instead I handle them like a 13-year-old (sulking, slamming doors and running to bedroom) or a 2-year-old (screaming and shouting and demanding my mum to listen to me), or some sort of nutter on drugs (hitting myself in the head, going hysterical). I know I could go on meds but I'm still waiting to get in at the doctors (can't get in when I want because there are too many PEOPLE around here now!)

I hate not being able to enjoy holidays because of knowing that every person I go with always end up making friends or getting chatted up by some cocktail waitress or some cute guy, and there's me feeling left out and rejected, no matter how much I smile and make eye contact and want to talk to people too. I just wish people stop and knew that it's my holiday too and that we all came here to explore, not to just sit around the bar all night talking to people we will never see again and then drinking so much and so late that we end up wasting all morning laying in bed.

I hate being awkward without meaning to, like talking at the wrong time (when people are trying to watch the TV and I find I am sitting there talking about crap in their ear without realising it until they go ''ssshhhh'' which then angers me because I hate being shushed, makes me feel patronised or embarrassed.)

I hate being a target for criticism just because the things I like to do aren't always compatible to the norm. I hate being criticised.

I hate being too socially phobic and anxious to be able to enjoy the things around me, and am unable to enjoy social interaction but wanting to at the same time

I hate being the only one who doesn't go clubbing, and finding out that other introverted/studious people even go out clubbing and put pictures of themselves on Facebook of them cuddling girls or guys and surrounded by a huge crowd of mates.

I hate being a severe introvert but hate drinking alcohol at the same time so when I go out I just stand there not talking to anyone, then people mistake me for being too serious or too boring and so they only do the ''serious talk'' with me, and never quite feeling that included in on jokes or other shenanigans in the group, even though I do understand body language so I do know what is going on, but being treated like I wouldn't know, just because I'm the shyest of the group.

I hate being a know-nothing.

I'm fed up with going for interview after interview and still not being given a chance for a part-time job, considering I have been on job-seekers for over 4 years now and I have done other things in that time to gain experience and confidence, like courses, work experiences and voluntary work.

I hate living in a world where employers seem to think that all NTs make brilliant workers and all non-NTs make sh** workers that aren't worth a penny. There are a lot of non-NTs who can do jobs as effectively as an NT can (ie, me), and there are a lot of NTs out there who can be very useless at their job (not saying all, not saying most, just saying there are some out there who really don't want to work properly).

I hate being the black sheep of the family, being the only Aspie among 1 NT sibling and 14 NT cousins who all fit the common stereotype: all into parties and drinking. I mean, just because you're ALL NTs does it mean you ALL have to specifically like that one thing? Makes me feel even more alone and disbelieve people to say that not all NTs are party animals. I know there are NTs out there who dislike going out but I haven't met any.

I hate being easily startled or annoyed by certain noises and not being able to relax.

I'M ASHAMED of being so anxious, paranoid, self-conscious, socially phobic, depressive, miserable, obsessive, pessimistic, angry, fearful, and everything else on that list.

I hate feeling like I want to go into meltdown mode through irritation when I can hear people talking near my room and the voices are so distracting.

I hate unintentionally giving off vibes that make me come across as unsociable and pointless to talk to, no matter how much I smile and be polite and make friendly eye-contact. I find it very hurtful.

I hate having a lot of childhood memories of being a friendless outcast at school and was never on other children's wavelength.

I'm unhappy about being in a minority group, that also gets accused of ''lacking empathy'', when NTs can get away with lacking empathy for Autistics, and people still believing that NTs have universal empathy. It's not fair! Why is it this way?


I just want a normal life. I know I have friends, but I still feel that everyone else have much more than me, not talking about wealth, just talking about social life. Nearly every day I think of this curse I am destined with and think of this label I have and always think, ''why me?'' It makes it worse knowing I'm the only Aspie in the family. It's actually quite phenomenal really, in a negative way.

I HATE being abnormal. And all of the above is abnormal compared to the general population, even if NTs have one or two or three of those things, it's still better than having ALL.