Should i tell my shrink i am autistic

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It's incredible how US people are keen on diagnosis. What the hell, it's only a label on the box, you don't NEED it.

Don't you want your shrink to know you have an insight into your own condition? If you bring the autism on your own, then your shrink will know that, and will trust you. If you wait for shrink to bring it up herself, you will never be able to convince her you figured it out yourself, hence she won't trust you as much. So yeah, tell her about your autism, she will respect you more if you do.

Yeah, I find this hard to understand myself. It's not all US people though, just some. I went for assessment because I needed specific help and couldn't get it without a diagnosis. If I could have gotten that help without getting it, that would probably have been better, but such was not the case. I think in the US because of the way the health insurance system works, diagnoses become extremely important, because there is no help without it. When you come from a completely different system, this appears very strange.

I agree with you that getting a diagnosis should be a question of weighing the pros and cons. Impressing strangers on an internet forum is definitely not a valid reason for going for diagnosis, even though some people seem to think it is.

Why don't you try telling your therapist that you suspect you have Aspergers', and the reasons for it? You could very well write it down. Presenting it as a suspicion rather than fact helps her save face professionally, and turns it into a project you two can cooperate on.

If you do get a diagnosis, think about who you want to tell. My closest family and friends have been supportive, but some people I have to deal with due to accessing help, treat me like an amusing child, and I don't find it quite as amusing as they do. Particularly as the things they find amusing are signs of my distress.

Even though I live in the US, I haven't really thought of it in terms of the connection between diagnosis and accessing help. I mean, the help that I need is counselling where they can teach me social skills. As a student, I am entitled for
a free counseling regardless of whether I am diagnosed or not. If I weren't a student, the same would be true for the services elsewhere, except that you would have to pay for them. I don't see how being diagnosed would make them any cheaper. If anything its the opposite: the insurance won't cover issues that were predicted from your diagnosis: if a car accident can be explained by the diagnosis that you have, then the car accident is not really an accident, and the insurance only covers true accidents. So I am not sure how having a diagnosis would save you money. I guess diagnosis can help if you want to go on disability, but I doubt most people with Asperger want to go that rout.

To me, the point of diagnosis has always been that its better to have more information than less. Instead of just learning from scratch based on your own life, you can draw upon the experiences of other people with the same diagnosis. Sure, in case of Asperger, those experiences can widely vary: for example in my case I don't have sensory issues nor do I have aversion to changes, while other people with Asperger do. But at least I know where to look for to see the problems I "might" be having -- and then of course I can decide which of them I have and which I don't. On a downside, when I tell girls I want to date i have Asperger they don't believe me that I don't have some of the problems I just mentioned. So I guess their short attention span is what stops the principle "the more information the better" from working. But then again its your choice whom you tell your diagnosis and whom you don't.



I weren't talking about impressing strangers on the internet, I was talking about impressing his shrink: in particular the shrink would be impressed about hte fact that he thought of his diagnosis all on his own, without the shrink suggesting it to him. He seems to be scared to bring up autism first and wants the shrink to bring it first. And I am trying to tell him that it should be the opposite: its good if he is the one to bring it first, since then his shrink would know he has an insight.

And yes, "Impressing the shrink" might be important. He was concerned that shrink would think that if he is autistic he is low life or whatever. *But* if he has such an extraordinary insight into his autism, that changes things quite a bit. YOur stereotypical "crazy" patient doesn't konw he is "crazy". But he knows he is autistic. So maybe being autistic doesn't make him crazy, maybe autistics actually know what they are talking about, after all.

Ok, I decided, I will simply list her what makes it difficult for me to make friends and ask if she can help. My list is already a proof that I am conscious of many things, and understand my problems.

I will train to tell her the list instead of handing it to her. When I train, I can say things quite good.

I think if she has a good insight into autism, she will understand I am autistic and that's the most important for helping.
If she has not enough insight into autism, I prefer not telling her I'm autistic.

Thanks all.

I even tried to tell mine, but I gave up, because he has a cold, strange air that makes me feel a little insecure, a little not, VERY INSECURITY, HE IS SCARY, AAAAAAH

I'm completely confused, basically: okay, I'll tell you soon, damn it. No, wait, I can not, I do not know what to do, okay, better tell, no! not telling!! !! let him say so himself. but then I'll think about it, I see that he's never going to touch the subject, so I better tell myself

To show her you understand your problems even better you should use the word "autism" as well. If you simply give her the list, she would think you think its normal for people to have those issues. If you use the word "autism" she will know you realize its part of autism.

Why are you so afraid of using the word autism? You aren't diagnosing yourself, you are only giving her an idea of a diagnosis she might or might not want to use. If her view of autism is that its something horrible, she might well say "no I don't think you are autistic" (and there is nothing wrong with that too, since autism is such a vague thing everyone is entitled to their own opinion). But I think its important if you be the one who brought up the word on the table, that way she will know you have an insight.

^^^I'm not afraid of the word autism , i'm afraid of ignorance and belligerence towards difference and this difference in particular.

I already replied to your question above:
"I think if she has a good insight into autism, she will understand I am autistic and that's the most important for helping.
If she has not enough insight into autism, I prefer not telling her I'm autistic."

Okay, the scenario you are afraid of is she thinks autistics are ret*ds, so if you tell her you are autistic, she will think you are ret*d. But you see, in this hypothetical situation, she won't think you are ret*d, she simply won't believe you are autistic. Because saying you are autistic won't make her agree with you. She will only agree with you *if* she knows autistics aren't ret*d.



But then she will be the one to discover that you are autistic, and you will never be able to prove to her that you discovered it yourself.

^^You are interpreting my words and you are wrong.

I'm afraid that her diagnosis would become known by any mean in which case associations and anti-autist may harm me.

I don't want to show off, impress or prove anything, I want to improve myself. (I said it many times already)
Also I am not paying a psychologist to educate her about autism...

She isn't allowed to tell your diagnosis without your written permission. She can diagnose you, yes, but she can't tell about your diagnosis to anyone else.

^^I call this innocence.

e.g.: What you write on facebook is private (until it is no more).
e.g.: Asperger is different from Autism (until it is no more).

Okay if you really think the shrink will share things with people (despite the fact that she is not allowed to), wouldn't you want her to share that you have an insight into your condition (as evident by your using the word autism yourself) rather than just sharing that you are one of those stupid autistics who didn't even know they are autistic until she told them?

It's true. At least in the US, HIPAA applies. Patient-therapist privilege, too. Plus professional ethics.

A therapist can't tell someone else your diagnosis---unless it is necessary for something like insurance reimbursement, or for your treatment.

Anyway, what's so terrible about being autistic? I don't get the "shame" factor. You don't stink as a result of autism. You're not a criminal as a result of your autism. It's not equivalent to having leprosy. It's not a contagious disease.

Anyway, it's probably important to tell your therapist that you have autism. That could determine the path of your treatment, and optimize it (especially if the therapist is knowledgeable about autism).

The OP has repeatedly said that Autism in her country is seen completely as a negative condition.

It should not be assumed that the expected universal standard of non-disclosure is also applicable.